What It All Comes Down To
by shanzilla21
Summary: Canon. The story behind Santana and Brittany's relationship from their reunion in Season 5 to when they said I Do in Season 6.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

The sun kissed Santana's brown skin everywhere it was uncovered. A gentle breeze lifted her hair, letting the dark tendrils tickle her face. The only thing she could hear was the sloshing of waves breaking against the shore and the cawing of birds in the distance. She couldn't remember the last time she had felt so relaxed, so at peace.

Santana loved the beach. Not just this one, but any beach. Maybe it was the combination of the water, the sun, and the sand on her skin. Maybe it was the feeling of "getting away," of escaping real life for a while. Maybe it was the stillness of just "being" she felt she could melt into. Whatever it was, the beach had always been her favorite place. Growing up in Lima, Ohio, she rarely ever got to visit a quality beach. The same could be said now that she lived in New York.

She opened her eyes slowly, letting them adjust to the day's brightness mitigated somewhat by her sunglasses. Lifting her head, she looked out across the expanse of blue water before her, sunlight dancing across it, and breathed a breath of contentment. It was just so beautiful.

Soft rustling beside her caught her attention. She turned her head and saw something even more beautiful.

Brittany.

She was there. Beside her. So close she could reach out and touch her. None of it felt real.

It had been months since she saw Brittany last when she left Lima and McKinley to go to school at MIT. Months without knowing what was going on in Brittany's life. Now here she was, lying next to her on a chaise lounge on Lesbos island.

As if Brittany could feel Santana's eyes on her, she turned her head and locked her eyes on Santana's before smiling. Her blue eyes sparkled clearer and brighter than the ocean in front of them. Her pale skin glistened with a sheen of sweat and sunscreen. Her body stretched out on the lounger, letting the sun touch as much skin as her baby-blue bikini would allow.

"You're staring," Brittany said matter-of-factly. She wasn't surprised. She'd caught Santana staring at her since sophomore year of high school. Only these days, she wasn't ashamed of it. She lifted a hand to cup Santana's face and stroked her cheek with her thumb.

Santana caught her hand and kissed her palm before intertwining their fingers. "It's still so unreal you're here. That we're here together." She gestured to the beach, sparse with a few other people minding their business. "Thanks for making us come here, Britt."

"This was your doing as much as it was mine, San." When Santana's brows furrowed in confusion, she continued, "If it wasn't for you, I'd be back at MIT right now. Stressed out and unhappy solving all those stupid algorithms." A flash of disdain crossed Brittany's face but disappeared as soon as it came. "You were right. I wasn't happy. I needed to get away and think about what I really wanted for myself." Brittany leaned closer to close the gap between them, and pushed Santana's sunglasses onto her head to look into her eyes. "And there's no one else I'd rather get away with than you, Santana."

Their lips pressed together in a way that let Santana feel that Brittany's words held nothing but truth. When Brittany kissed her, her insides fluttered like butterflies. Every time was still like the first time they kissed all over again minus the worry and anxiety over their secret affair.

"I missed you so much, Britt," Santana said when they pulled apart.

"I missed you too," Brittany smiled easily at her. "Come on. Take a walk with me. I'm bored just lying here in the sun."

"I thought we were tanning," Santana chuckled and took the hand Brittany held out for her to stand.

"You were born with a perfect tan, and you know I only ever get really red or really white. I'm either a lobster or a ghost. No in-between."

Santana laughed and intertwined their fingers as they started walking along the shore. They walked for a while letting their shoulders brush against each other and the water ebb and flow over their bare feet. Every now and again Brittany would say spurt out a random fact about something she would see that would either make Santana laugh or press her to explain.

"I know this isn't the fantasy lesbian island I thought it would be," Brittany said after a while, "but I'm glad you decided to run away with me."

Santana smirked at her comment. No, Lesbos wasn't chock full of carefree lesbians living their best lives free of men. In fact, Santana felt like they were the only lesbians on the entire damn island. Still, the Greek island was such a beautiful place, and she was glad to be sharing the experience with Brittany.

They'd only been there for a few days so far, but they'd spent so much of their time exploring mainly because of Brittany. Santana would have been more than happy to spend their time relaxing in the hotel room, on the beach or by the pool, but Brittany wouldn't allow that.

 _Two days earlier_

"San, we're on the other side of the world," Brittany had said their second day on the island as Santana mumbled in her pillow about going back to sleep. She'd already pulled the sheets off Santana's body, but had no luck in getting her to budge. "I'm not gonna let you sleep all day like I'm sure you do in New York on your days off."

 _Damn, she knows me so well._ Santana thought at the time. She'd thought Brittany had given up her coaxing until she was suddenly bombarded with Brittany's full weight on her and her fingers tickling her sides. It didn't take long for Brittany's infectious laugh to spread to Santana as she writhed in laughter underneath the blonde. "Alright, alright," she laughed as she conceded, holding Brittany's wrists to stop her tickling. "I'll get out of bed." She'd looked into Brittany's eyes then. The piercing blue eyes that always seemed to look into her soul flickered to Santana's lips. "But first…" Santana pressed her mouth into Brittany's and felt Brittany's satisfied sigh in response.

It was something new she noticed Brittany did. Whenever they kissed now, she would sigh just a little like she'd been waiting for it to happen and was relieved when it did.

Their mouths worked slowly but tentatively against one another's. Brittany's kisses were familiar yet foreign to Santana. Her lips felt so familiar, but there was a confidence there now that didn't used to be. It reminded Santana that this wasn't the same girl she secretly made out with in her bedroom a few years ago.

Santana pulled away eliciting a soft groan from Brittany. "Come on," she smiled and rolled to swing her legs off the edge of the bed. "If we don't leave this bed now, we never will."

 _Present Day_

Santana was pulled back to the present by Brittany softly squeezing her hand. Her focus went straight to Brittany's inviting smile. She had the most beautiful smile. Santana couldn't help but feel herself smile in return.

"I'd run away with you anywhere, Britt."

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 **A/N: Rate and Review. Feedback fuels me, so tell me what you like and what you don't.**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: It's been a delay, but the story continues :) long story short, I wrote a few chapters, trashed them, and started from scratch. Take note of the change in tense and POV going forward. Writing just became a lot easier when I started writing in first person. Also including timestamps at the beginning of the chapters to give you a sense of any time jumps. The next couple chapters are flashbacks before we head back to Lesbos.**

 **Enjoy :)**

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 ** _Lima, Saturday, 2 weeks ago_**

 ** _Santana POV_**

 _It's your choice. If you want me, I'm here._

Her words kept replaying in my head over and over on a loop for the last twenty-four hours since I'd heard them. She kissed me. She _kissed_ me! The taste of cinnamon-sugar churros still haunted my lips. My tongue ran over my bottom lip as I thought about it once again. _Goddamn it, Brittany._

I'd been lying supine on my bed in the same position since I got home yesterday. My room was the same as it was when I left for college. If I turned my head, a framed photo of me in my graduation regalia and Brittany kissing my smiling face would stare back at me amid other framed memories.

I didn't know what else to do. Brittany's kiss had sent me spiraling into an emotional whirlpool. If this had been three months ago when I was trying to win her back from that guppy-faced Ken doll, I'd have jumped at the chance to be with her again. Hell, I would've jumped _her_ as soon as I saw her for the first time in the choir room on Monday. God, did she look beautiful. But this wasn't then. Things were different now. We lived in different cities. We lived different lives. We both had dreams to pursue. Not to mention, I was a taken woman. I had a girlfriend waiting for me in New York.

 _I'm sure your girlfriend's great, but you can't recreate what you and I have._

Her words swam in my head again.

"Ugh!" I groaned into the pillow over my face.

The grumbling in my belly took my focus away from my despair. I didn't remember eating anything since I'd gotten home yesterday. Mustering up the little strength I had, I made my way down to the kitchen to find my mom stationed around the stove.

Her thick, brown hair was tied up in a bun to keep her hair off her face. Whatever she was cooking smelled amazing but steamed up the kitchen, so the sweat peppering her face was likely due to that. Her trusty red, white, and green apron adorned her waist. It reminded me of when I'd see her in that apron making dinner when I'd come home from school. It made me smile and realize just how much I missed her.

"Hola, mija," she greeted as I sat on a barstool to watch her move vegetables around in a pan. "Finally decided to come out of your cave, huh?"

"I just had a lot to think about," I shrugged weakly.

"Yeah? What's wrong, baby?"

"It's just… Brittany," was all I could muster.

"Are you two fighting?" she asked as she plated some of the stir-fried vegetables and slid them over to me.

"No," I sighed. "Where's Daddy?" I asked trying to change the subject.

"At the hospital again," she sighed as she took a seat across from me. "Ever since he got promoted to head of his department a few months ago, he's been working weekends too. He should be getting off soon though."

"Well, he's one of the few good doctors in this Podunk town. He's in high demand."

I wasn't surprised. For as long as I could remember, my dad practically lived at the hospital. I rarely got to see him during the week. When he was home, he'd be asleep only to wake up and go back to the hospital. The weekends were when we got to spend time together, though. He was usually off unless he got called in, so he'd take us out to eat or watch a movie with us in the family room. My favorite times were when he'd take us down to Lima Heights to Abuela's house for Sunday dinner. All my aunts and uncles and cousins on his side would be there. He always seemed himself around them. He'd laugh until the wrinkles creased deeply around his eyes. He'd talk animatedly in Spanish with everybody. It was a far-cry from stuffy, professional Santiago Lopez, M.D. who barely made an appearance during the week. We never went to family dinners anymore. Not since Abuela disowned me for liking women. My dad had to make a choice then between his mother and his daughter. He chose me. But I haven't seen him laugh like that since then.

Mom and I busied ourselves eating, so the conversation died down which allowed thoughts of Brittany to creep back into my head. It wasn't her words I thought about this time. It was her kiss. When someone surprises you with a kiss, it tends to be aggressive, fast, a little forceful like they try to do it before you react. Brittany didn't kiss me like that. It happened all at once, but I remembered every second. She leaned into me steadily like she was giving me time to turn my head. I didn't. Her crystal blue eyes bore straight into mine until they shifted focus to my lips. Delicate fingers touched the side of my neck as her thumb settled on my jaw. Then her lips touched mine. That's what it felt like. A touch. Soft but firm and so familiar. It was like coming home after a long day. That's what she felt like. Home.

"She kissed me," I blurted out. "Brittany. She kissed me."

My mom didn't say anything for a moment. She looked up from her now-empty plate while I focused hard on mine.

"I thought you had a girlfriend in New York."

"I do." In the silence, I could feel the pieces start to click for her. "I just… I don't know what to do."

"I think you do, baby," she says as she took her plate to the sink. "It's just taking a while for your head to catch up with your heart. Talk to your girlfriend, mija." She kissed the top of my head before moving to grab her purse and keys. "Whatever you decide, she deserves to know about the kiss."

"I guess," I sighed.

"I've got to get going for an appointment. See you later, baby."

"Bye, mamí."

I hated when she was right.

I looked over at the clock on the microwave. _3:43_.

I trekked my way up to my room to plug in the phone dead phone I was ignoring since yesterday. Immediately, several notifications chirped when it came on.

 **Dani:** _Hey babe :)_

 **Dani:** _San? You okay?_

 **Dani:** _Call me so I know you're not kidnapped somewhere in a white van_

My stomach knotted instantly. I couldn't talk to Dani. Not yet at least. I was going to tell her about the kiss. I just needed to clear my head and sort out the rolodex of emotions I was feeling.

 **Santana:** _Not kidnapped but haven't been feeling so hot. Skype you later?_

 **Dani:** _K. I'll be online whenever you're ready. Get some rest. Feel better babe :)_

 **Dani:** _P.S. You're always hot even when you're not trying ;)_

A strangled sound came out of my mouth, somewhere between a laugh and a cry. She always had this way of making me smile. She cared about me. She deserved someone who cared about her the same way. She deserved someone whose heart wasn't being tugged by someone else. She deserved someone better than me.

I felt the sobs escape my chest before I realized I was fully crying. Why couldn't I be satisfied with having an amazing girlfriend like Dani? Why did these god-awful feelings overwhelm me like this? Why the _fuck_ couldn't I get over Brittany?

I curled into myself on the bed as the tears burst through me like a dam. My head and stomach were starting to hurt, but I couldn't stop.

I didn't want to hurt Dani. She was such a good person. She didn't deserve that pain.

"Tana?" I heard the knock on my door, but I didn't react at all. My face stayed buried in my tear-soaked pillow.

In no time, big, strong arms gathered me into their embrace. Feeling the warmth of my dad's hug made me cry even harder. I couldn't remember the last time he held me like this, but I was glad he was now. His big hand stroked the back of my head. His stubbled cheek brushed against my temple as he rocked me back and forth. It calmed me down some. Enough to where the tears were flowing silently.

I lifted my head off him and shifted until I was sitting next to him. He kept his arm around me, so I leaned into his side.

"Sorry I messed up your shirt," I said, eyeing the wet spot my tears and snot had made. "It feels expensive."

"Don't worry about the shirt. There's more in the closet." his low voice rumbled. After a moment he continued, "Anything I can help with?"

I stiffened. We'd never explicitly talked about this. After I came out to him and mom, he was surprised and confused but made sure I knew he didn't love me any less. That didn't mean we went marching at Pride together, but it never came up again. It was just kind of understood that my best friend who slept over in my bed was now my girlfriend who slept over in the guest room, or so they thought.

"I'm having girl trouble," I said slowly.

His body shook with an unexpected chuckle. "I was waiting for the day you'd come to me with this. I'll do my best."

I smiled at that and took a moment to thank whoever was up in the sky that I had parents who didn't care about who I loved. It took me a moment to figure out what to say to him.

"When did you realize Mom was the _one_? That she was the one you wanted to be with forever?"

He stiffened for a moment before continuing to rub is hand up and down my arm.

"Your mother and I, we were young when we met," he started slowly as if looking for the memory deep in his mind. "I was a stupid kid doing stupid things in the streets chasing all the girls that looked my way. I was out of high school, so I had too much time on my hands. Your mother was a waitress at this restaurant, and she'd chase us when she caught us doing recklessness in the alley behind her work. One day, we were in the alley harassing this kid for his money, and your mother came out. My friends ran away, but your mother grabbed my arm before I could. 'What kind of man takes from another man instead of working for it?' That's all she said to me before she let me go. She had the most honest eyes I'd ever seen, and they were filled with disappointment. She was practically a stranger, but I felt that disappointment for a long time after that. I stopped hanging out with friends. I didn't want to risk seeing her in that alley again. I wanted to be a man that worked for what he had, so I got a job at this garage fixing cars and took classes part-time at the Lima Community College. My grades were good enough to get me scholarship to Ohio State, and it's there that I took an interest in medicine, but I wasn't sure what I wanted to do yet, so I came back to Lima. One day, I came back to the restaurant, through the front door this time. Your mother took my order. I don't think she recognized me, but I thanked her for what she said those years before. I waited until her shift ended and asked if I could walk her home. The rest was history."

I looked up to see a smile ghost his face. His eyes were distant and a little sad. He cleared his throat before continuing.

"She got pregnant with you a little while after that. Even though you were on the way, she pushed me to go medical school. Your abuela took her in when her parents kicked her out. They weren't very supportive of me and my past street life. Your tías and tíos all helped her raise you while I studied in school. It was rough. I didn't want to leave her alone, but she wouldn't hear it. She said she'd leave me if I even thought of dropping out," he laughed at the memory. "She never complained. She never let me see her struggle. She brought you to school to see me, so I never lost study time travelling back and forth. I wouldn't be the man I am without your mother. One day, she was on my bed in my dorm, quizzing me for a final. You had just fallen asleep in her arms. She was trying to pronounce all the medical jargon with her accent. She was perfect. I thought in that moment ' _This woman is a gift from God. I cannot imagine being any happier._ ' That's when I knew. Even with all the pressures of school and parenting and just… life, I couldn't imagine being any happier. It wasn't until a few years later that I had enough money to buy her a ring, but that's when I knew. She always knew I could be anything I wanted to be even when I didn't, and she gave up everything to help me get there. Even before she knew me, she encouraged me to be someone worth loving. She gave me my drive, my career, my daughter. No one made me happier than she did."

I watched as he swallowed thickly and breathed deeply. His brows had furrowed together, but he smiled down at me. "That help?"

"I don't know," I said truthfully. It stirred up even more emotions than before. "But thanks for telling me that." I wrapped my arms around his waist to hug him.

"Anytime, mija," he said, kissing my head and looking down at me and touching my forehead with his index finger. "You know, when you were a baby, I'd take my finger and run it down the middle of your face. Your little eyes would follow it every time. Then you'd laugh and spittle when I flicked your lip." He smiled when I laughed as his finger did as he said. "Your mother made me stop because she thought it'd make you cross-eyed, but no matter what mood you were in, that would always make you smile." He looked at me longingly, a hint of despair ghosting his eyes. "I never told you how sorry I am that I wasn't there for your big moments."

"Daddy-" I started before he cut me off.

"No, Santana, let me say this. I worked really hard to make sure I could give you and your mother the life you deserved, so you'd want for nothing. That came with a price. Now that you're not here at all, and you're making your own life in New York, I realize how little time I got to spend time with you when you were home all those years. I wasn't involved enough like I should have been, and I'm sorry. I need you to know that."

My throat got thick with emotion. I didn't realize how much I needed to hear that from him until he said. Growing up, I knew he had a job that kept him busy, so it became the norm when he wouldn't show up to birthday parties or graduations or Glee performances. After a while, it didn't bother me, but a little part of me would always hold out hope that he would show up.

"I missed out on so much of your life, but I'm not missing anymore. No matter what, tell me about something you have going on, and your mother and I will be on the next flight to New York. I don't want to miss out on any more of your life. I'm very proud of you, mija."

"Thank you, Daddy," I said, hugging his broad frame to me, feeling like a child in his arms again.

"I'm going to get some sleep while I can," he said as he stood to get up. "I love you, Tana."

I was able to look at him fully then still dressed in his button-down and slacks. His jet-black hair had more white streaks than the last time I visited. The glasses he wore couldn't hide the dark circles under his eyes. His shoulders that usually straightened to define the proud Lopez stance slumped wearily. He looked more tired than I had ever seen him. Although he deserved his new position and everything that came with it, I could tell it was taking a toll on him.

"Love you too, papí."

When the door shut, I was left to my thoughts again. They were more subdued this time. I thought about my mom and dad. They went through a lot to get where they are, but Mom still made my dad happy no matter what.

Before I became a blubbering mess again, I turned my computer on to Skype with Dani. I still had no idea what to say to her, but if there's anyone I should be able to talk to, it should be my girlfriend.

The blue screen lit up and rang for so long, I thought she wouldn't answer, but the blue screen quickly turned to a bright image of Dani. Her bright smile lit up my screen and deepened the dimple in her chin. Her dark-blue hair was disheveled, and she wore the glasses she only wore at home. It was nice to see her again.

My stomach didn't flutter when I saw her this time. It ached with nerves like waiting for my parents to say anything in the long silence that stretched after I said I was gay.

"Hey, you," she smiled at me. "You're earlier than I thought. I missed you."

"Hey," I tried to smile back, but it was weak.

Her smile faltered. "How you feeling? You don't look so good."

Even in the small square in the corner of the screen that showed my image, I could see how puffy and red my eyes were from crying.

"I'll be fine. I just– I have– You should know–" I tried but couldn't get it out.

"Santana, baby, what's wrong?" I heard the genuine concern in her voice, but I couldn't look at her.

I closed my eyes and steeled myself.

"Brittany kissed me."

I clenched my eyes tighter preparing for whatever was coming, but she didn't say anything. At least ten seconds passed before I opened my eyes again. When I looked at her, her eyebrows were furrowed together, and her lips parted like she was still processing.

"Your ex-girlfriend, Brittany?" she said at last.

My head nodded as I let her continue to take it in.

"D-did you kiss her back?"

My eyes immediately stung again. I sniffled before I nodded slowly. "For a second before I stopped it."

She scoffed at me.

"Wow," was all she said.

"Dani…" I trailed off. I honestly had no clue what to tell her. I couldn't say it didn't mean anything because it meant _everything_. "I'm sorry," was all I could come up with.

"I should've known this would happen. When we met, you told me you loved her. I could tell in your eyes it wasn't over for you, but I was so into you I made myself believe what you said."

"Dani, I'm sorry," I said again through the tears. "My feelings for you were genuine. Please don't be upset."

She laughed incredulously. Her voice was thick as she spoke " _Were_? Just like that, they turned off, huh? It was that easy. Tell me right now, now that you've _kissed_ her, that you still want to be with me," she challenged.

"It's not that simple," I choked out because it wasn't.

"It _is_ that simple, Santana," she retorted. "Tell me you still want to be with me." Her voice cracked at the end like she was pleading.

My eyes clenched and blinked fast to keep the tears at bay, but my efforts were for naught. Being with Dani was easy and simple. We had fun, and I felt safe with her. We didn't have a complicated past, and a shitload of obstacles getting in our way. We could just be together as soon as I said so. I wanted so badly to tell her that I chose her. As I opened my mouth to say so, brilliant blue eyes flashed in my mind, and her melodic voice disturbed my thoughts.

 _It's your choice._


	3. Chapter 3

_**Lima, Saturday, 2 weeks ago**_

 _ **Brittany POV**_

"What? You're leaving? I thought we were gonna watch _Beauty and the Beast_ together," I pouted. "You know how much I love when the cups dance."

Kelsey flitted around the living room rolling up her headphones and stuffing them in her pocket. The oversized black and red polka dot backpack she was carrying made her look like a ladybug.

"I told you I'm going with Jenna to the carnival tomorrow. I'm staying over, so we can go early."

She didn't even look at me. She was busy surveying the house making sure she got everything. She was always like that. Organized, neat, sensible. Everything her big sister was not.

"When'd you even get old enough for sleepovers?"

"I'm ten years old, Britt. Double-digits pretty much means I'm a woman now." She put her hands on her little hips and stood like she was serious. My lips lifted in a smirk. Her brown hair and dark almond eyes made her look more like Dad than I did.

The sound of a car honking prompted Kelsey's move toward the door.

"At least give me a hug before you abandon me," I called. Since my parents went to Columbus for the weekend she was leaving me all alone.

She turned back and barreled the weight of her and that backpack into me as her little arms wrapped around my waist.

"You'll be fine. Isn't Santana in town? Invite her over. I gotta go. Bye, Britt!" she called as she whisked out the door.

The sound of her name immediately put me in a funk and sent me plopping back down on the couch. The vibrations of my phone on the coffee table made me perk up. For the tenth time that day, I was disappointed when the name on the screen wasn't Santana's and dropped the phone back on the table.

A grumpy meow at the foot of the chair turned my attention to the big furball coming my way.

"Looks like it's just you and me, tonight, Tubbs," I said, grabbing Lord Tubbington and pulling him in my lap. "Unless you're planning on ditching me too for your Lady Tubbington."

His soft purring started as soon as I scratched his head while I skipped through the channels on the TV until something I recognized came on. _The Notebook_. I remembered it because Santana said the scene where Noah and Allie kissed in the rain was how Finn and Rachel would act in the hallway when they had to leave each other for class. Come to think of it, it was kind of how we used act when we left each other's side too.

It had been a whole day since I had seen her, and nothing. Radio silence. I didn't expect her to come running after me after I kissed her like a rom-com and declare her never-ending love for me in the hallway. Okay, maybe I did. I mean, that's what Quinn did for Puck. I thought she'd at least have said something, _anything_ by now. Because I hadn't stopped thinking about her since I first saw her at McKinley.

That Monday afternoon, I walked into the choir room, and there she was. My eyes had locked onto her immediately. Her dark hair was bigger and cascaded in waves past her shoulders. Her blue and black outfit fit her leaner body like a second skin. Her skin looked so smooth and soft that I just wanted to feel it against mine. She was absolutely radiant. She always eclipsed everyone else in any room she was in. When her chocolate-brown eyes locked onto mine, her bright smile radiated through me, and I felt like I was home again.

But I didn't give in. I had to focus while I was back in Lima. Come back, say bye to the Glee club, go back to MIT. That's it. I thought if I let myself feel anything for Santana again, I'd never want to leave her again, and I'd never go back to MIT, so I avoided her. I threw myself into math equations and chess games and anything unrelated to Santana. But that's the thing about Santana. She's unavoidable.

I didn't even have to do or say anything. She saw how miserable I was even when I couldn't. She saw that I wasn't being myself. She saw that I needed to dance again to feel that joy that I was missing. She saw _me_. So, when we were sitting eating churros in the choir room, that's all I could think about. How no one else ever _saw_ me like Santana did.

It was magnetic. I couldn't stop myself from kissing Santana if I wanted to, and I definitely did not want to.

Having her lips against mine again felt so right, so natural. Like I couldn't believe this hadn't happened when we first saw each other on Monday.

But maybe I crossed a line. I didn't doubt Santana still had feelings for me. I knew her better than I knew myself. I knew in the way she held me when we danced _Valerie_ together that she didn't want to let me go. I knew in the way she suggested I be in the world dating that she wasn't thrilled with the idea. I knew in the way her breathing changed when I kissed her cheek goodbye that I was affecting her.

But she had a life in New York and someone else she had lowered her walls for enough to call her girlfriend. Santana wasn't one to get attached easily. It took three whole years and them living together for her to take a liking to Rachel, and they were still fighting. Whoever this Dani girl was that was good enough to claim her must have been pretty special. But I may have messed that up for her.

I was conflicted. On one hand, I knew what Santana and I had was a special, once-in-a-lifetime, punch-us-in-the-face-cause-we're-disgustingly-happy kind of love. On the other hand, maybe letting her know that while she was in a relationship, living on the other side of the country after not seeing each other for months and being broken up even longer wasn't the best time. Maybe she was right. Maybe that kiss was a bad idea.

My attention turned to the _Notebook_ again. Allie was with that guy that played Cyclops in _X-men_. She seemed so happy with him until she saw Ryan Gosling in the newspaper. I wondered if she and Cyclops would have been happy if she never saw that newspaper. Would he had made her happy? Was Ryan Gosling just being selfish and interrupting their love story?

The sharp knock on the door broke me out of my inner turmoil. Kelsey must have forgotten something for her sleepover. She should've called first to make sure I was still home, though.

I opened the door, but it wasn't Kelsey. Brown, puffy, red-tinged eyes met mine. Her hair was up in a loose ponytail, and she wore sweats and a hoodie. She must have been in a hurry to get here because Santana never left the house in sweats. She was agitated though. Her arms were crossed, and the little vein in her temple was protruding. I could tell from her eyes that she'd been crying and from the quiver in her bottom lip that she was going to again. I was about to open my mouth and ask her what was wrong when she beat me to it.

"Why'd you do it, Brittany? Why'd you kiss me? Because it took me so fucking long to get to a place where my chest didn't tighten every time I thought about you. Where I didn't almost call you every time I was sad or mad or happy just to hear your voice. I had a fucking girlfriend for God's sake. A decent, good fucking girlfriend. But you kiss me, and all that goddamn progress just went out the fucking door. So, why'd you do it, Brittany? Why the _fuck_ did you do it?"

By the end of her tirade, she was shouting. As much as she could anyway since she was bawling at the same time. Her body bent over, and her arms wrapped around her middle as if to protect herself. I'd only ever seen Santana cry like this two other times. The first was when I found her in the girls' locker room after Sue and Mr. Schue showed her the commercial that would air and out her as a lesbian. The second was after she came from her abuela's house for the last time. I'd been her shoulder to cry on both those times, here to shield her against the pain of the world. I never imagined I'd be the reason she'd cry like that again.

Instinctively, I moved toward her and held her to me. She fought against me, pushing against my chest to loosen my hold on her, but I held tighter. I wasn't going to let her go. Eventually, her attempts became weaker until they stopped altogether. Her face burrowed in my chest as her sobs grew louder. Her fists tightened to grab hold of the front of my shirt. My hand rubbed up and down her shaking back while the other stroked her raven hair as tears slowly blurred my vision.

She was right. I came out of nowhere like that blue shell on Mario Kart and blew up her whole life. To think there wouldn't be any collateral damage was naïve. I never wanted Santana to take the brunt of the damage though. She didn't deserve to feel like this.

When her sobbing died down, and I could only hear her sniffles, I lead her into the house to sit on the couch while I got us both some water. Her eyes were fixed on the TV when I joined her. Noah was screaming at Allie to tell him what she wanted, but she didn't know. At least not yet.

"Thanks," her hoarse voice muttered when she took the water from me.

Her eyes were cast downward as she circled the rim of the glass with her finger, but I could see the tension on her bare face. I'd always loved seeing her like this, no makeup, dressed down, comfortable in her own skin, not worried about putting on appearances. She'd only ever let me and our parents see her like this. Even tear-stained, she was just as beautiful as ever. No, she was fucking breath-taking. No one on this earth held a candle to the woman before me.

"I love you, Santana." Her head shot up to meet my gaze when I spoke. "You asked me why I did it, and I could go on and on about how you reminded me of who I am. About how the last week being with you again was the happiest I'd been in months. I could say that you make me feel like I can do anything and that you are the only person who really makes me feel like a genius. I could literally say a million more things about why I feel this way about you. But what it all comes down to is that I love you, Santana. I've never stopped. I'm as in love with you as I ever have been. Probably even more so now that I know what is to live without you. That's why I kissed you."

Her brown eyes bore into mine giving nothing away. They reminded me of hot, black coffee. No cream or sugar, just pure and unadulterated. No bullshit behind them.

Her face started to crumple, and she teetered on the verge of crying again, a few rogue tears already escaping down her face.

"I am sorry, though," I said, placing the glass on the coffee table to capture her hands in both of mine. Her skin felt just as soft and warm as I remembered. I used my thumb to wipe the wetness from her cheeks and tucked a few stray strands of hair behind her hair, so I could see all her face. "I put you in a weird position with your girlfriend, and I shouldn't have done that." My lungs filled then emptied with air as I thought about what I had to say next. "I'll stay away from you for the rest of the week we're in Lima. I'll sit on the other side of the choir room, and I'll share custody of Quinn. We'll make like a schedule. I'll even give you the weekends."

A soft chuckle escaped her lips. "You don't have to do that, Britt," she murmured, gaze shifting downward at our conjoined hands.

"I think I do. It's not fair to you or your girlfriend, and I can't promise I'll be able to keep my lips off you again," I laughed mirthlessly.

Her gaze returned to mine, fresh tears glistening them.

"We broke up," she shrugged, but her eyes were anything but nonchalant.

Instinctively, I pulled her into my arms again. She let out quiet sobs but held onto me, her fingers pressing into my back. I rubbed her back until I heard her quiet down.

"San, honey, I'm sorry," I said softly in her ear. When she finally pulled away, I tried, "Was it…did I…?"

She smiled sadly and wiped the tears from her face before shaking her head. "It wasn't anything you did, Britt. She wasn't happy to hear about the kiss, no, but I think she was willing to work past it."

"Why'd you break up, then?" I prompted when she didn't continue. Her hand had found mine again. Her thumb scratched the inside of my palm like she used to do when she was nervous.

"She needed me to tell her that I wanted to be with her instead of you, and I just…" Her nervousness seemed to lessen, and as she looked at me, her whole face softened. "I couldn't."

The look on her face was one I'd seen so many times. Vulnerable and scared but so full of love. The last time I saw this look was last Fall in the choir room, the last few minutes we were officially a couple. I'd resigned myself to never seeing that look on her face again, but here it was. Here _she_ was. Here was my Santana.

 _Bzzt! Bzzt! Bzzt!_

The grin that had begun to pull at my face disappeared when the obnoxious vibrations from my phone on the coffee table pulled our attention away. Annoyed, I ignored the name that frequented the screen and shut it off altogether.

When I looked back at Santana she was pushing strands of hair behind her ear and looking everywhere on me but my face. I leaned a hand on the couch to prop up my head and tilted to really look at her. Her eyes were still red and puffy from crying, but her mouth was set in a thin line. Her display of vulnerability was over, and her oh-so-familiar wall was back up. I knew Santana though and knew that the breakup hurt her heart no matter how much she tried to shrug it off.

"Come with me," I said softly, shutting off the TV before standing and holding my hand out for her. She followed me as I lead her by the hand to my bedroom.

I didn't let her hand go until I turned back to look at her. The soft light of my bedside lamp made her skin glow and look even more beautiful than before. She eyed me warily as I slowly unzipped the front of her hoodie and took it off her, revealing the white tank top sticking to her body. Ghosting my fingers along her shoulders and neck, I reached behind her to loosen her ponytail, her dark hair cascading in loose waves. Slowly, as she gazed into my eyes, I saw her wall come down and her emotions play on her face again.

Taking her hand again, I lied down and settled on my bed before lifting an arm for her to join. Cautiously, she accepted the invitation and curled into my side, resting her head on my shoulder and her hand on my stomach. My arm wrapped around her as I pulled her close, the smell of citrus wafting from her silky hair.

My hands stroked her hair as her arm tightened around my waist and soft sniffles accompanied tears that fell on my skin.

I didn't say anything, and she didn't need me to. She needed to work through her emotions, and I needed her to know I was here for her no matter what.

As the night grew on, the sniffling stopped, and her breathing evened out.

I let the soft sounds of Santana sleeping peacefully lull me before feeling the drain of exhaustion and emotion drag me to sleep.

* * *

 **A/N: This chapter was running long, so I decided to cut it into two. Part two should be coming sooner than later, so look out for that within the next week or so.**

 **Hope you enjoyed! Drop a review and tell me what you think :)**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Finished the new season of Orange is the New Black and part two of this chapter earlier than expected.**

 **Enjoy :)**

* * *

 _ **Lima, Saturday, 2 weeks ago**_

 _ **Brittany POV**_

My eyes fluttered open as warm light seeped into the room. Immediately, my attention went to the raven-haired beauty wrapped in my arms. At some point in the night, we must have rolled over because we were laying on or sides, Santana the small to my big spoon. It was our default position whenever we slept together.

Naturally, I hugged her closer me, her soft snoring never faltering. I had missed sleeping with her so much. Granted, hot lady sex usually came before us spooning, but just having her here with me again sleeping while I held her was a feeling like none other.

The citrusy smell of her hair wafted in the air and made me nuzzle my face closer to her. My fingertips ghosted over the smooth bronze skin left exposed by her tank top. The hand that wrapped around her smoothed over the curve of her hip. Everything about her was still so intoxicating.

Deciding to avoid the familiar temptation of having Santana's body pressed into mine, I sneaked my arm out from under and around her and tiptoed out of my bedroom to the living room.

It was as quiet as we had left it last night. Turning on the TV, I flipped through the channels until Spongebob and Patrick appeared. My silenced cell phone caught my eye, and I turned it on as I made my way to the kitchen.

Immediately all the unacknowledged messages blew up my phone. The thought of looking through twelve unread texts, mainly from my MIT friends, instantly drained me. Dancing the past week had reignited this fire in me I thought had died out from my endless hours in the MIT math labs. It also left me conflicted on whether MIT was where I should be. I mean, I was a mathematical genius. "A mind comparable to Stephen Hawking's," my colleague had described. It was my duty to solve world peace or something, wasn't it? I mean, what good's this brain of mine if didn't put it to use? Even if I was miserable most of the time.

Skimming through the texts, I decided no one was dying, so they could wait and returned my phone to the counter to focus my attention on making breakfast.

As I took out the eggs and bacon from the fridge, my mind wandered to last night. So much happened, but all I could focus on was the last thing Santana had said. She wanted to be with me. Her girlfriend - no, ex-girlfriend - gave her an ultimatum, and she chose me. The selfish part of me wanted to smile at that, but I knew Santana had to be hurting. She didn't let herself care about just anybody, so losing Dani wouldn't be the easiest thing to move on from. No matter what, I'd be here to help her through it. I didn't care how long it took as long as she would have me.

I had just flipped another pancake when the slow shuffling of feet made Santana's presence known. Her eyes were still half shut, her hair in disarray, and her mouth in a small pout. Her demeanor didn't surprise me. Santana was never a morning person, but she still looked so adorable.

"Morning, Sunshine," I chirped, pouring the last of the pancake batter on the griddle.

She didn't answer me. Instead, I felt narrow arms wrap around my middle and her face press between my shoulder blades. My heartrate sped up at the feel of her around me. She stayed like that so long, I was almost sure she fell asleep again until she shifted and rested her chin on my shoulder.

"Thank you for last night," her voice thick with sleep crooned in my ear.

I set the last of the pancakes on a plate and turned off the stove before turning to look at her fully.

"I didn't do anything."

"No, you did, Britt," she said, taking her time to push my hair behind my ear. "Even when I feel like complete and utter shit, you always know how to make me feel better."

"Well, that's cause you're my best friend," I smiled, linking one of my pinkies with hers. "I know you better than the inside of my eyelids."

Her eyes softened, and a small smile graced her lips. "That you do. But I need you to know how sorry I am for blowing up on you like that."

"You don't have to be sorry, San. You were hurting really bad," I shrugged, stroking my thumb along the back of her hand.

"I was, but that's no excuse. You didn't deserve that, Britt. I was mad at the whole situation and mostly at myself, but not you. Never you. I'm sorry."

I cocked my head slightly in confusion. Why was she mad at herself? She didn't do anything wrong.

Her apology is what I focused on though. I looked into her earnest eyes and smiled. When we were together, Santana wasn't always keen on apologizing so freely. It would talk a pointed look from me or an argument that almost always ended with an orgasm or two, and even then, she'd look a little constipated saying sorry. Now here she was, apologizing for something I wasn't even mad at. In more ways than this, she had become more mature in our time apart, and it made me so proud of her. All I wanted to do right then was kiss her. If I'm being totally honest, I wanted to hike her legs up around my waist, take her back up to my bedroom, and _really_ show her that her apology was accepted. Instead, I took the safe route.

"Apology accepted."

She smiled warmly and let her soft lips linger on my cheek, heating my face up instantly, before hugging me again.

"Thanks, B," she breathed in my ear. When she pulled back, her eyes flitted briefly to my lips before she cleared her throat, stepped out of my embrace, and made her way to the counter.

"Woah, Britt. When'd you learn to cook a spread like this? Last time I checked, cereal was your specialty."

I laughed at her incredulous tone and sat on the barstool next to her as I brought the plate of pancakes to join the bacon, eggs, and fruit.

"This is pretty basic, San," I said, dishing out the pancakes between us. "I had to learn to cook something or else I would've starved at MIT. All the cafeteria food tasted like cardboard, and you know I don't eat that anymore."

"Say what you want. This is fucking delicious." I laughed at her garbled words as she tried to speak through pancakes stuffed in her mouth.

We didn't say much else as we ate. A comfortable silence settled between us.

"Thanks for breakfast, Britt," she said, picking at her last of bacon.

"Anytime." I eyed her and smirked. "So back to you confessing your undying love for me."

She choked on the last piece of food she put in her mouth and took a sip of orange juice to alleviate her coughing. The shock on her face eased when she caught me laughing at her.

"Oh, don't flatter yourself," she rolled her eyes and couldn't help the smile that deepened her dimple and the pinkness that colored her cheeks. Seeing that lightness return to her made me flash her another toothy grin.

"How are you feeling though?" I said more seriously. "About Dani and everything."

Her shoulders slumped forward as she shrugged. "I feel better than I did last night. I'm not a blubbering mess at least. I know I'm prone to an ugly-cry."

"You're always beautiful, Santana. There's no such thing as an ugly-cry when it comes to you."

When she blushed, I set my open palm on top of the counter and smiled when she took it and intertwined our fingers.

"Thanks again, Britt," she said softly. "Last night was kinda rough to say the least, and you made it… a lot less rough."

"Of course, San. I'll always be here for you. Even through breakups that don't involve me."

She looked at me for a while before speaking, "You know, when I asked you meet me in the choir room last Fall, I thought breaking up with you would be the hardest thing I'd ever have to do, but it wasn't. Getting over you was. Well, attempting to was at least. Trying to live my life knowing you were somewhere out there in the world but not with me, it was… hell," she said as her thumb scratched my palm. "As much as I tried so hard to pretend like it isn't, this thing between us is still there. Honestly, I don't think it'll ever go away. I felt it instantly the moment I saw you walked through that door on Monday, and I've felt it ever since. Like my mom said, I think it took a minute for my head to catch up with my heart." Her eyes flitted across my face, searching, memorizing, remembering. When they paused on my mouth, then my eyes, my breath hitched. A familiar glint flickered in her eyes before she continued, "I love you too, Brittany. I honestly don't know how not to."

My insides fluttered at her admission. It felt like someone lit a candle in my chest. I felt so warm and just insanely fucking happy to hear her say she loved me.

Before I could react, soft, pillowlike lips pressed firmly into mine and all thoughts flew out of my head. My breath released as I melted into her sweet kiss. My head felt so light, and all I could feel was Santana. Kissing her was complete and total bliss.

All too soon, she pulled away back into her chair, but the smile on her face that no doubt mirrored mine was unmistakable.

"Still the best kisser you've ever had?" I teased.

The laugh she let out stirred the butterflies inside me once again. God, did I miss that laugh.

"Of course you are, you dork," she blushed.

I smiled and caressed her soft cheek. Her lips glistened slightly with moisture having kissed me and looked so tempting. But as much as I wanted to, I wasn't going to push her any further. I'd let her decide when she was ready.

 _Bzzt! Bzzt! Bzzt!_

The abrupt sound of vibrations against the countertop made us jump apart.

"Shit," I cursed at the phone once again disrupting my time with Santana. Ignoring the call, I put it on silent and shoved it into my pocket.

"Aren't you gonna answer that?" she asked as I took our empty plates to the sink.

"Nope, they can wait," I said, taking her hand on my way back to the living room and pulling her into me on the couch. "This is San and Britt time, and we have a lot of catching up to do."

Her eyes crinkled when she smiled as I kissed her temple.

"Alright," I said. "Now tell me what's going on with you and Rachel."

* * *

 **A/N: These chapters in Lima are based on what's happening in Season 5: Episodes 12 ("100") and 13 ("New Directions") for those wondering. I'll recap as much as is relevant in the story, but definitely check out those episodes if you want a refresher.**

 **Thanks to everybody who followed/reviewed/PM'd. I love hearing from y'all :)**


	5. Chapter 5

_**Lima, Saturday, 1 week ago**_

 _ **Santana POV**_

Two suitcases were hardly enough for me to travel back to Lima with much less across the world. If I had known I'd be journeying to a Greek island for God knows how long, I'd have packed another bag. The two-week's worth of clothes I brought from New York just wouldn't do.

Whatever was left in my closet at my parents' house would have to come with to Lesbos even if it meant reliving some of the fashion tragedies of my McKinley days. If only they would fit in the damn suitcase. The bag was so fucking full, I couldn't even zip it up halfway.

"Ugh!"

My fingers were struggling to get the zip to progress even a little further as I sat my whole body on top of the bag on my bed when soft raps came from my door.

"San?" The sound of her musical voice put an instant smile on my face. "You ready?"

Brittany came in my room looking drop-dead gorgeous. Most of her long, golden hair parted on one side and fell in soft waves past her shoulder. The subtle makeup she wore was enough to enhance her already bright blue eyes and the pink of her delectable lips. She wore a simple sparkly, low-cut top that shimmered with every movement and dark jeans that hugged her tight hips and legs.

"What are you doing?" her head cocked to the side in confusion as she took in the sight of me sitting on top of my suitcase.

Her words shook me out of my daze as I took in her heavenly appearance, and my mouth was able to function again. "The uh… the b-bag. The bag won't close."

She walked over to where I was, positioning herself directly in front of me. My legs parted instinctively as she moved in closer. My breathing hitched when she braced her palms on either side of me, effectively trapping me, not that I exactly wanted to escape. Her head turned away from me, but she was close enough that, with a deep breath, the intoxicating fragrance of perfume mixed with Eau de Brittany overwhelmed me. The pale skin of her neck was so close to my face that I could feel her warm skin beneath my lips if I just moved a little clos-

"No wonder it won't close, San," Brittany grunted. "You've got a whole Forever 21 packed in this thing."

My body dipped with the suitcase as Brittany pressed her hands down on it, trying to get both sides of the zipper to meet.

After a few futile efforts, she threw her hands up and settled them on my thighs.

"I don't think it's gonna close," she sighed. "One of my suitcases is half-empty. I'll bring it over tomorrow before we leave. You can throw some clothes in there."

Her blue eyes narrowed when they finally locked onto mine. Her breath was slightly ragged after her attempts to close my suitcase, and I couldn't help but notice the way her chest rose a little more with every breath.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" she asked.

My hands trailed up her naked biceps until my arms settled on her shoulder, fingers locking behind her neck.

"You look stunning," I whispered.

Her pearly whites glistened, eyes crinkled, and cheeks pinkened as she smiled. I loved that about Brittany. She smiled with her whole face like every single molecule was happy.

I closed the distance between us and kissed the lips I couldn't stop staring at, feeling a soft sigh escape Brittany's lips. I had meant it to be a quick, chaste kiss, but Brittany felt so good that every time I pulled back, I went back in for one more peck, and then another, and then another, until I surrendered altogether and attached myself firmly to her mouth.

Our lips moved together in a dance we had mastered for years. I took her bottom lip between mine, savoring the sweet cherry flavor of her lip gloss. A small moan escaped her, and I felt her warm hands grip my thighs firmer in a familiar restraint.

The past week had been a whirlwind of emotion but having Brittany beside me was the shining light through it all. She had listened to me vent about Rachel, our battle to be the _Funny Girl_ lead, and Kurt and Mercedes' vain attempts to fix our relationship. She'd coaxed me into telling her all about Dani and our relationship thinking it would be cathartic for me. It was. She'd listened to me ramble about my hidden insecurities about not making it big in New York. Through it all, she was there for me making me laugh, comforting me, and being the best friend I had missed. And, God, had I missed her.

Like every other stage in our friendship, we also couldn't keep our hands off each other. We'd sneaked kisses and indulged in a make-out session or two… or six, but it never went further than that. Each time, Brittany had broken away, holding back when I could tell from the way her eyes darkened and her face flushed that she wanted to go further. Just like she was doing now.

 _Bzzt! Bzzt! Bzzt!_

"Ugh," I groaned as we pulled apart. The familiar nuisance of Brittany's cell phone vibrated against my thigh. "Are your MIT friends still calling?"

"Well, I haven't exactly told anyone yet that I'm not going back to school," she explained, dismissing the call on her phone.

"Whoever it is, they're interrupting me gettin' my mack on with the most beautiful girl in the world," I punctuated with a soft kiss to her neck, earning me a melodic giggle from her.

"If a little eye shadow makes you act like this, I'll have to wear some more often," she winked as she lifted me off the suitcase before letting her eyes roam the length of my body. "You look beautiful too, San. You always do, but tonight you make Victoria Secret models look like hobos."

I chuckled as my face heated up. Was I the hottest piece of ass in this town beside Britt? Of course. Did I exude the raw sexual magnetism that made men's jaws drop on sight? No question. But whenever Brittany called me 'beautiful' I felt it. Like really _felt_ it. When she said it, I knew she wasn't just talking about my outer beauty. Brittany had always looked at me in a way no one else ever had. It was like those blue eyes looked into my very soul, and, for whatever reason, she liked what she saw.

"Thanks, Britt. I just threw a little something together." I glanced down at my heels that put me a little taller than Brittany and the short black sleeveless dress that hugged my body and made my ass and boobs look phenomenal. It might've been a little dressy for a graduation/farewell-Glee-Club party at Sugar Motta's house, but it was the closest thing I'd get to a night on the town in Lima. Might as well do it up.

"Well, you look incredible," Brittany said lowly, looking at me with such adoration that my heart skipped a beat under her gaze.

"Oh! I got you something," Brittany said as she backed away from me and dug into her back pocket. "It's a thank-you present for planning my surprise graduation yesterday."

"Britt, you didn't have to get me anything," I smiled at her. She was always so considerate. "Think of that as like a thank-you for helping me come to my senses about _Funny Girl_. Besides, you deserved a proper graduation."

My mind drifted back to Wednesday when I had walked into the choir room to the most amazing gesture anyone had ever done for me. Throughout the room held the most beautiful array of white lilies. In the center was a piano and sitting at the piano was the love of my life looking incredibly angelic.

Brittany had surprised me that day, not only with a makeshift garden of my favorite flower and a getaway to Lesbos, but with some quality advice that really helped clear my mind of the whole _Funny Girl_ debacle. It honestly astounded me how talking to her could straighten me out so quickly. She really knew me better than I did myself.

"Well, helping you with _Funny Girl_ was also a thank-you for helping me realize I want to dance and not be a math-slave at MIT anymore. Now shut up and take my thank-you-for-my-belated-graduation present."

Her blue eyes sparkled as she opened my palm to deposit a black velvet box.

My eyes widened, and I immediately looked up at Brittany. I loved her so much, but we weren't ready to get engaged, were we? We'd only acknowledged our feelings for each other a week ago. Although, the thought of spending the rest of my life with Brittany did make my heart race in a good way. Like the first time we walked hand-in-hand down the McKinley hallways as an out-and-proud couple.

"San, sweetie, no," Brittany reassured. "Get that look off your face. It's not what you think it is. Not yet at least," she smirked at me.

As my breathing slowed down, I cautiously opened the box to find a little gold star outlining a mini diamond star in its center stare back at me. The diamond glittered excitedly as the light flickered against it, and I couldn't help but think of the way Brittany's eyes did the same when she was excited, like now.

"Britt," I breathed as I took it out the box. It was beautiful. Strung on a thin, gold chain, I turned the pendant with my fingers to find small engravings on the back of its otherwise flawless surface.

 _B+S_

"I know how much you want to be a big star," Brittany started as my eyesight blurred with tears, "and I know you're probably worrying about what's next for you now that you've quit the play. I can't promise that the world is gonna recognize the incredible talent you obviously have, but I can promise you that I will always believe in you, your amazingly awesome voice, and your dreams. This is to remind you whenever you feel like giving up and taking the easy road that you, Santana Lopez, are the most talented, determined person I have ever met and that you'll always be the biggest, brightest star in the galaxy to me."

I wanted to say something profound and heartfelt about how all the stars in the universe could never shine like she did or that all that mattered was that I was a star in her eyes, but the lump in my throat wouldn't let me. Instead, I kissed her and let all the love and gratitude I had for her fuel that kiss. The saltiness of my tears gave a saline undertone to our kiss but that didn't stop Brittany from kissing me back with just as much fervor.

"I love you," I said against her lips, punctuating my words with a kiss. "So. Much."

She giggled as I pressed soft kisses all over her gorgeous face.

"I love you, too," she smiled as she cupped my face and kissed me one last time. "Now your mascara's all runny," she said, wiping the happy tears from my cheeks. "You look like you're melting."

I laughed. "Let me fix my makeup before Quinn gets here. Thank you, Britt," I said, looking into her blue eyes. "I love it so much. And I'm so grateful I have you to believe in me." I pressed my lips to hers one more time.

This whole week, I was sure I fell more and more in love with Britany every day.

I couldn't help it. I was about to travel across the world with my best friend. I was out of doing a musical I really didn't care about. I had my favorite person back in my life coming to live with me in New York. I couldn't remember the last time I felt so light. It was all thanks to Brittany.

This girl was perfect. Now that I had her back, I wasn't going to let her go again.

#

Sugar's house was fucking insane. Her dad had to be pushing more than pianos to afford these fancy-ass digs.

When we'd arrived at her estate, a very debonair older man in a monkey suit had greeted us and waved Quinn, Brittany, and I into an incredibly majestic foyer. Everything looked so pristine and expensive. Even the air smelled wealthy.

He'd escorted us through the fancy maze that was the Motta household and downstairs to where we were now, the "basement" that was essentially a fully-loaded, one-bedroom apartment filled with all the Glee kids, past and present. The music blared through every room from Sugar's high-end sound system with bass that reverberated through my entire body. The extensive liquor and beer selection flowed in the kitchen which I'm sure was the cause of Quinn Jr. a.k.a. Kitty stumbling as she walked to the pool table.

"Sweet house you have, Sugar," Sam said. He, Sugar, Mercedes, Kurt, and I were sitting in the living room in couches that had been pushed to the wall to make room for a dancefloor that Artie and Tina were currently embarrassing themselves on.

"Thanks!" Sugar replied. "My dad rebuilt the basement for me when I said I wanted my own place. I was thinking more of a McMansion, but this was good enough when I was in middle school."

Of course Richie Bitch had a whole-ass apartment to herself in middle school. Why the fuck did she even go to school?

"What have you been up to lately, Sugar? I haven't heard from you since Regionals," Mercedes said.

"Oh, I got bored singing in the background in Glee Club, so Daddy bought me a boat to cheer me up," Sugar chirped. "I've been sailing all around the world the past few months. I even stopped in and visited Rory."

"In Ireland?" Sam asked incredulously.

"Duh," Sugar replied. "That's where he lives."

"I'd never repeat this in any other situation, but I envy you, Moneybags," I said. "You get to jet-set across the world just because you're PMS-ing while I'm still trying to figure out where Britt and I can afford to stay for so long when we get to Lesbos."

"Wait, you guys don't have a place yet?" Kurt inquired confusedly. "Aren't you leaving tomorrow?"

"Yeah," I sighed. "Britt booked this trip out-of-the-blue, so planning hasn't really been in the cards. Plus, I was busy bribing Sue to let her walk for graduation yesterday. We're kind of just going with the flow on this trip." I looked toward the kitchen where beautiful blonde hair bobbed as Brittany laughed along with Mike. My lips curled in a smile as I heard her laugh. The trip had definitely taken me by surprise, but at least it hadn't been too hard to get time off at the diner. We hadn't talked about what would happen once we got to the island, but we could sleep on the beach for all I cared as long as I was in Brittany's arms.

"Oh!" Sugar interjected. "I can help with that! Daddy has shares in the Marriott, and he's tight with the CEO." Of course he fucking is. "I'm sure he can get a room for you guys for as long as you need."

I blinked several times letting Sugar's words sink in.

"Are you bullshitting me, Motta?" I narrowed my eyes. "Because I _will_ unleash Snixxx on you if you are. What's the catch?"

"I have zero capacity for bullshit, Santana," Sugar chirped. "Asperger's, remember? And there's no catch. You and Brittany are my Trouble Tones sisters. You're like the closest thing I'll ever have to actual siblings."

My mind flashed to senior year, when that wretched commercial aired, and all I could feel were eyes on me everyday as the newly-outed lesbian whose abuela had just disowned her. Brittany was my rock during that time like she always was, but the Trouble Tones had been a sisterhood I never knew I needed. Having a good group of girls to support me helped me survive in a way I'd never admitted out loud before. Even though Sugar grated on my nerves often, she, along with Mercedes, was one of those people, and I'd always have a tiny place for her in my cold heart because of that.

"Don't expect like a suite or anything fancy. I mean, you're not me," Sugar said as I pressed my nails into my palm to keep from doing something to jeopardize this favor.

I held a hand out as I enveloped her into a brief hug. "Thanks, Motta," I said. "Britt and I really appreciate this."

"No worries, babe. I'll text you the details. Just remember to invite me to the wedding," she winked before heading off to where dread-head Joe was calling her.

I dropped my head to hide my blush as I felt heat rush to my face. For the second time tonight, the thought of a wedding popped in my head. One where a certain blonde would adorn a white dress and a veil and who I would undoubtedly say 'I do' to.

"Since Sugar's in such a good mood, I'm gonna see if some of that goodwill can rub off on me," Sam uttered as he bounced off in Sugar's direction, long hair flopping as he went.

"Still got love for Trouty Mouth, huh, Mercedes?" I asked, noting the way her eyes followed him across the room.

"Don't even start, Santana," she deflected. "Never mind me. What's next for _you_ now that you've quit _Funny Girl_?"

My shoulders deflated as I sighed. "Well, the next few months are gonna find me soaking up the sun on Lesbian Island with my best friend. Beyond that, who knows. I've still got more of those yeast infection commercials to shoot. I renegotiated so that they'd pay me in actual dollars instead of yeast medication, so at least I've got something to keep the bills paid while I figure things out." I touched the little gold star settling on my chest and a calm came over me as I was reminded of Brittany's words. The future of my career might be up in the air, but one thing I could on was Brittany. If she was with me, the unknown seemed a lot less scary.

"Well, I know something's gonna come up for you. You're talented, girl. Don't forget what that voice can do."

"Thanks, 'Cedes," I smiled.

"If you ever do decide to leave behind the depressing cold of New York, come out to L.A. and hit me up. We can collaborate on a little something. We'll make a 'River Deep/Mountain High' part two."

I laughed. "I'll keep that in mind. Still waiting to hear that album."

"Oh, it's coming," Mercedes assured before getting up to leave in the direction of the bathroom.

As she did, my eyes settled on Brittany who was mixing a concoction in the kitchen with the freshman Glee kid that had passed out on stage. Marie, her name was? Her shimmery top made her more outstanding than usual, but in a room of a thousand people, I'd always be able to spot Brittany. She had this way about her that made her shine brighter than everybody else.

"I'm so happy you two aren't trying to kill each other anymore," Kurt said in the chair next to mine, eyeing Rachel failing at shooting balls at the pool table.

"Yeah, well she's lucky I didn't go through with hiring that hitman," I retorted.

"Thank you for bowing out of _Funny Girl_. I know it wasn't an easy decision, but it was the right one," Kurt said sincerely.

"We both have that blonde bombshell to thank for that," I motioned over to Brittany who was still chatting with Marlo? in the kitchen. She quickly shot me a wink when she caught my eye. "She talked some well-needed sense into me."

"I'll miss you for the next few months, Santana. I'm glad that you're going on an extended vacation with the love of your life and all, but New York won't be the same without you. You've quickly become one of my closest and most surprising friends."

The sentiment made me smile. Despite all our disagreements, living with Kurt and Rachel was probably the highlight of my time in New York. Half the time we didn't get along, but we'd developed a weird friendship that I kind of treasured.

"Thanks, Porcelain. You're mine, too. For what it's worth, you always were my favorite gay. Besides Elliot," I joked. The mention of my former bandmate made my smile fade as I was reminded of another former bandmate. "Do me a favor when you get back to New York? Look out for Dani, please. One Three Hill rehearsals will probably be awkward as fuck now thanks to me. Sorry about that."

"Ugh, I hadn't even thought about that. At least I can hope for some awesome breakup music to come out of this," Kurt pondered. "Don't worry, I'll keep tabs on her," he assured. "If it's any consolation, I haven't seen you smile or laugh this much in all your time in New York."

I looked in the kitchen and locked onto blue eyes that weren't paying attention to whatever Quinn was saying to her. "She makes me pretty happy," I muttered, never taking my eyes off Brittany.

I felt guilty that I wasn't more torn up about my breakup with Dani. It wasn't that I didn't still feel a way about it. It's just, whenever I was with Brittany, I couldn't feel sad about anything. I'd look into her eyes or hear her laugh or see her smile and instantly feel nothing but love and happiness. Being around her just made me feel crazy happy like rainbows were going to pop out of my ears.

Brittany's top shimmered as she made her way over to me and my smile grew. When she got to the couch, I opened my arms in invitation, relishing the way she felt as she positioned herself on my lap. One slender hand wrapped across the back of my neck to my shoulder while the other was careful holding the cup in her hand. I held her close to me, wrapping an arm around her back and another across her thighs.

"Hi," I breathed.

"Hi," she replied, the hint of rum tinging her breath. "You gonna keep staring at me all night?"

"Keep looking like that, and I probably will." I bit my lip, focusing on her tongue as she licked her own.

"Alright," Kurt interjected, getting up from his chair. "I'm going to find my fiancé before things are no longer PG-13 over here. He tends to get a little sloppy when he's had too much to drink."

"If we were a movie, we'd totally be rated NC-21," Brittany said after Kurt left.

"Britt, neither of us are even 21 yet," I chuckled.

"We're _that_ scandalous."

I chuckled, my eyes taking in the beauty in my lap. Her face was flush probably from the drinks she already had.

"What're you drinking?" I asked.

"Secret recipe. Here, taste," she said, tilting the cup toward my mouth. I drank the sips she offered, tasting a delicious mix of coconut, cranberry juice and…something else I couldn't put my finger on.

"You're right, B. That's really fucking good." I peered closer at her, noting the way her eyes weren't fully open. "How many of these have you had?"

"Just three," she smirked before pressing a kiss to my lips. "You're cute when you're worried."

"Just making sure I'm not taking advantage of you when I do this," I said before tilting my head to capture her mouth with mine.

I smiled as I felt her release a sigh against my mouth. She tightened her hold on me, bringing us closer together, not stopping when drops of Brittany's drink sloshed on my leg. I slid my tongue against Brittany's lip, the need to taste her overpowering me. She let me in with no hesitation, her tongue meeting mine in a familiar tangle. My hand on her thigh squeezed softly before roaming to her hip. I cursed internally at Brittany's choice to wear jeans. All I could think about was the feel of Brittany's skin against mine again. The memories of touching Brittany, running my tongue across every inch of her had plagued me ever since we broke up. Now that we were together again, all I could think about was recreating those memories over and over and over again.

"Okay, okay, break it up you two." We jumped apart as Puck clapped loudly at us. "Ease up before I have to hose you down."

"Way to twatblock, Private Puckerman," I pouted, hugging Brittany closer to me. "Relax, you're not on duty."

"If you didn't notice, we're gathering in the kitchen," he said, holding his hand out to help Brittany off me. "We've got some things to celebrate."

#

"To Glee Club!" we roared before downing a shot.

The hot singe of Jose Cuervo burned my throat before I bit into a lime to douse it. Everyone had gathered in the kitchen to honor the end of the Glee Club. After a rousing, heartfelt speech by Guppy Lips, we took a commemorative shot together.

"To the graduates!" Unique hollered.

"To the graduates!" we repeated before another round of shots.

"To Finn!" Kurt yelled. We raised our glasses in a brief moment of silence for our fallen friend.

"To Finn!" Another shot.

Our big group broke apart then, everyone clamoring with those around them as the liquor soaked into our systems. Brittany tugged on my hand, bringing my attention to where she was pouring out another round of tequila shots.

"Puck! Come take a shot with us," Brittany motioned him over with Quinn in tow as she handed he and I a shot glass.

"I'm gonna have to pass it to my lady here," he said, handing his shot to Quinn and handing us more slices of lime. "Someone's gotta drive tonight. I got away with taking shots of Dasani before."

"To the Unholy Trinity," Quinn said, licking salt off the back of her hand before downing her shot.

My eyes narrowed at the way Brittany rolled her eyes indiscernibly. Before I could call her out on it, I was distracted when she came closer to squeeze drops of her lime on my neck, a devious look on her face.

"To the Unholy Trinity," Brittany said, holding my gaze as she licked salt off the back of her hand and drank the shot like it was water. Watching her do that was already a turn-on, but then she leaned in and licked the lime juice up the length of neck. I shut my eyes and clenched my jaw to stop the moan that was threatening to erupt. When I reopened them, Brittany was wiping the excess moisture off her satisfied smirk.

"The Unholy Trinity," I muttered after realizing they were waiting on me to take my shot. I downed the tiny glass, not bothering with the lime and salt. I needed the burn in my throat to distract from the tingling I was feeling between my thighs thanks to Brittany.

"I swear, you two haven't changed at all," Quinn chuckled. "Still all over each other like dogs in heat."

"Oh, please," I rolled my eyes, feeling Brittany's arm wrap around my waist and tighten harder than usual. "You're just jealous since the most exciting thing you and G.I. Joe over there have going on is missionary."

"Hey!" Puck interjected. "We switch it up. Don't we, babe?"

"Of course, honey. Don't listen to her," Quinn smiled, patting his cheek in comfort. "Besides, from what I remember, Santana's a bit of a pillow princess herself."

I gawked at Quinn, a little impressed by her snide remark, but more shocked that she'd bring up our drunken tryst after Mr. Schue's failed wedding attempt.

"Alright, babe," Puck laughed, taking Quinn's cup from her hands as she tried to take another drink. "I'm cutting you off."

"Cut me off? After you knocked me up? You should at least let me have this, Noah," Quinn argued in sudden outrage.

"Hey! You can't play the baby card for everything. You just used it today to get me to rub your feet," Puck retaliated.

As Puck tried to keep the drink out of Quinn's reach, I caught myself from stumbling as Brittany dragged me by the hand to the makeshift dancefloor in the living room where most of the freshman Glee kids were dancing. I looked at her when we got there, ready to chastise her for almost making me drop on my ass but found her usually-pleasant face twisted in what looked like anger.

"Britt?" I asked, cupping her face with my hand, my finger tracing the shallow crease between her eyebrows. Her blues eyes stormed with emotion, and her skin underneath my fingertips felt warmer than usual. "What's wrong?"

She shook her head, blonde hair tossing as she did, and looked back at me with her usual easygoing countenance, anger erased like an etch-a-sketch. Her hands found their place on my waist as she began shimmying her body against mine.

"Nothing, I just wanted to dance with you," she smiled, tugging me closer to her and twinkling blue eyes at me.

Her infectious attitude drew me in, so I dropped my hands to her shoulders, feeling my body move with hers instinctively and let myself drown in the beat of the music. Dancing with Brittany was second-nature to me. Our bodies fit together so perfectly, always in sync, knowing exactly how to move with each other. The way we were grinding against each other made me so lightheaded. Feeling her body move against me felt so fucking intoxicating, although the tequila may have been contributing to that. I looked up to see the heated expression in her hooded eyes. I knew that look all too well.

She moved out of my reach to grab the hem of her shimmery top and fling it above her head. Twirling the blouse, she danced around me, her fingertips teasing my bare shoulders and my eyes following her every movement.

I'd have been more shocked at Brittany being topless if most of the people at this party hadn't already seen her in just a bra at previous parties before.

She turned her back to me with a smirk, bending down low and pressing her perfect ass into me as she snapped up, tossing her blonde hair back as she did. Her body rolled into mine with the music, my hands roaming over her sides before settling on her hips as I synced my movements with hers.

"You're so hot," I rasped, breath hitting her ear.

The deep sigh she let out was enough for me to turn her around to face me, my eyes locked onto her parted lips. I leaned in, the need to kiss her compromising anything else I was feeling. Our lips met in a wet kiss, the lingering taste of lime on her tongue. My fingers twisted in her thick hair, needing her as close to me as possible.

I never wanted to let Brittany go again. Those months without her were fucking awful. Seeing her with Sam at that wedding was hell on earth. Not being able to take her and kiss her like I wanted to all the time was fucking torture. Feeling her arms enclose around my back now felt so surreal. Brittany was so fucking perfect that all of this felt like a dream. Like I'd wake up back in New York on that lumpy-ass couch with Brittany back at MIT and Rachel's loud-ass snoring as my alarm clock. I couldn't do that anymore. I could survive all the trials of living in New York, but I couldn't survive being without Brittany again. She was my whole world.

Brittany pulled back with a confused look on her face.

"San? Sweetie, why're you crying?" she asked, words slurring together.

My shoulders heaved as I tried to take a breath to calm down. Where the fuck was all this coming from?

"I just love you so much, Britt," I choked out between sobs.

She smiled softly, wrapping me in a warm embrace. "I love you, too," She rocked us lightly side-to-side as she stroked my hair. "You don't have to cry, San. That's a good thing." She pulled away slightly and looked at me with a lazy grin on her face that looked so adorable. "You love me, and I love you. That's like, the best thing ever."

I smiled at her easily, swiping at the wetness on my cheeks. How could I ever feel any kind of negative emotion when she was around?

She took my hand in hers and kissed my forehead quickly. "Come on, you look like you're melting again. Still hot, though," she added with a wink that closed her eye longer than necessary.

I followed her to the bathroom, careful to keep myself from bumping into our fellow Glee-Clubbers and falling in these heels. It didn't help that Brittany would stumble and throw me off balance too.

"God, it is so hot," Brittany complained after closing the bathroom door.

I found my way to the mirror, laughing at my running makeup and disheveled hair. If my hair was red, I'd look like a sad clown. The thought made me laugh harder.

"What're you talking about, Britt? The thermostat's on Antarctica. It's colder than a polar bear's balls down here." I ran my fingers through my hair and used some tissue to touch up my makeup until I looked normal again. I turned back to Brittany, jaw dropping in the process.

Brittany sat on the lid of the toilet, hair in a sexy state of disarray, clad solely in a simple black bra and her hip-hugging jeans. She fanned herself with a magazine, eyes closed, leaning back to elongate her smooth torso. The only thing missing was a slow-motion reel with Cherry Pie by Warrant wailing in the background.

I wanted her, and the liquor wasn't helping hide that.

"Come here," I muttered, pulling her up by the hand and crashing our lips together. Her body fell into mine and drove my back into the wall behind me. My hands instantly went to her warm, naked flesh, pressing my palms against her bare back and pulling her into me as our tongues wrestled. My insides tightened, and I let out an audible moan when her hands lowered to feel my ass. She broke away from my lips only to latch onto the sensitive spot on my neck, sucking so hard my eyes rolled so far back in my head I feared they'd get stuck.

"Fuck," I panted in her ear. "Britt…"

I pulled her by the hair, needing her mouth on mine again. We kissed frantically, hands roaming, trying to get closer than we already were. I felt the tightening between my thighs grow stronger as our hips rocked into each other, increasing the tension with every meet.

"I want you so bad, Santana," Brittany panted against my mouth.

I pulled away slightly, needing to catch my breath for a second. Brittany looked at me with hooded eyes filled with a mix of lust and intoxication. Her face was flush, tiny beads of sweat sprinkling her forehead, and her lips redder and slightly swollen. She wasn't holding back anymore, and I didn't want her to. There was no hesitation between either of us. We both wanted this. Everything felt so right with her, and right now, I wanted her.

"Take me," I breathed before connecting our mouths again. Feeling her hand hike up my thigh, I locked my arms around her neck and followed suit, lifting both legs to wrap around her waist. Her hands gripped my thighs, driving her body into me to trap me against the wall, making me moan as she hit my center directly.

Her hand trailed up the length of my dress to cup my breast, kneading with her palm, making my kisses more desperate. I ground into her, increasing the friction between my legs and felt her rock into me in response. She tugged the top of my dress down, bringing my strapless bra down with it and freed my breast from its confines. The cold air hit it only for a second before Brittany detached from my mouth and latched onto my nipple.

"Holy hell," I gasped, feeling her teeth bite down gently on the nub and her tongue swirl around it right after. My head swirled as arousal overtook me.

Her hand slithered up to the inside of my thigh, my lower abdomen tightening in anticipation as she crawled to her destination. Her fingers rubbed against my damp panties, pressing against my entrance and my clit.

She abandoned my nipple to kiss her way up my neck and find my mouth once again. She panted in my mouth, pressing down on my clit again through my panties. I moaned in ecstasy, nibbling softly on her lower lip.

"Hey! Stop hogging the bathroom!" Tina's voice bellowed from the other side of the door.

"Fuck off!" I managed to yell, reveling as Brittany's tongue found my neck again.

"Come on! I need a toilet before I pee on this expensive rug."

My eyes rolled as Brittany's assault on my neck dissolved into giggles. My annoyance evaporated, and I found myself laughing with her as she let me down on my feet, helping me adjust my bra and my dress, and leaving her hands at my waist. A hiccup erupted from her lips, leaving an adorable lopsided grin on her face.

"Pick this up later?" I asked, kissing her again.

She nodded, but her head swayed a little to the sides while she did. She grinned again and gave me a quick kiss before releasing me.

"I've got to pee, so go keep Tina distracted for a minute," she said.

"Alright. You good to go by yourself?" I asked, noting the way she wavered. Or maybe I was wavering. Either way, someone was definitely spinning the room.

"Hurry up!" Tina hollered.

"Calm your tits, Chang!" I retorted.

"I'll be okay. Here," Brittany said to me, reaching in her back pocket to deposit her phone in the crevice of my cleavage. "Hold that for me? It fell in the toilet last time I was drunk."

My head cocked in curiosity but Tina's incessant pounding on the door got my attention.

"Don't forget your shirt," I reminded her, kissing her cheek once more before leaving her alone in the bathroom.

Bass reverberated from the living room stereo as I locked the door behind me. I looked around for the source of the interruption of Brittany and my sexy time only to find her slumped against the wall, sitting on the floor next to the bathroom door.

"Tina?" I asked in confusion. "Why're you on the floor?"

"You took so long in the bathroom, I was starting to fall asleep," Tina said, rubbing her eyes and yawning. Her eyes weren't even open as she kept talking to me.

"Britt's still in there. She actually had to use the bathroom," I sneered at Tina, crossing my arms and leaning on the wall across from her.

"Are you serious?" Tina rolled her eyes.

"You couldn't find another bathroom in this entire fucking mansion?" I challenged.

"You couldn't find an actual bedroom to have sex in?"

"Watch it, Chang," I warned, eyes narrowed.

"Whatever," she conceded. "I can't walk more than five feet right now without my body threatening to blow chunks." Tina murmured before her head lolled back against the wall.

 _Bzzt! Bzzt! Bzzt!_

I jumped at the sudden vibrations coming from my boobs. Brittany's phone juddered excitedly in my cleavage. It was after 1AM. Who the fuck was calling at this hour?

I held the phone in my palm, squinting to make out the words clearly.

"Liv?" I read the name on the screen. Letting curiosity take over, I pressed the green button and put the phone to my ear.

"Brittany! Bitch, you finally answered!" a loud, feminine voice with what sounded like a British accent came through the phone. Loud noises blared from her end of the phone, so she tried to talk loudly over it. Her words slurred drastically, and she never paused in the conversation to wait for a response. "It's been two weeks! Where the fuck have you been? When are coming back? Why haven't you answered my texts? Those really hot Parker twins from the lacrosse team have been asking about you. I think they want to shag again. I miss you so much! It's so fucking boring here without you. I'm at a party at Alpha Sig, and no one here's a better make out partner than you. Trust me, I've tried them all. Brittany? Babe, you there? Hello?"

Babe? Who the fuck was this bitch calling Brittany 'babe'? I hung up on _Liv_ and checked for the alleged texts she'd been sending Brittany.

"Woah," I breathed in disbelief. Twenty missed calls from Liv in the past week. 'I miss you' texts with so many fucking heart emojis. Liv explaining in very graphic detail what she wanted to do to Brittany when she got back to MIT. And, oh, God, the pictures. At that point, I didn't know what Liv's face looked like, but I knew damn well how the rest of her body did.

It wasn't just Liv. Derek, Connor, Rashad, and Alex all seemed to be hankering for Brittany to return to MIT. At least that's what I'd take their dick pics to all mean. Frankly, I thought once I came out of the closet that I'd never be subjected to another unsolicited dick pic. This onslaught of fucking phalluses in Brittany's phone was not something I was prepared for. All the times Brittany's phone blew up while were together the past week made sense now.

Suddenly the music felt too loud, the room was spinning too much, and all the air seemed to get sucked out of the room. I ran to the kitchen, unable to hold in my need to hurl, and let it all out in the sink. I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand, feeling moisture on my cheeks, but I couldn't find the air to breathe properly. Someone was in my ear talking, but I couldn't make them out. I couldn't focus. They were too close to me. I already couldn't breathe. I needed to get out of there. I needed air. Shoving my way through random bodies, I found the stairs and climbed them to get as far away from there as fucking possible.

* * *

 **A/N: Fun fact: Brittany's "secret recipe" is actually a Malibu Breeze cocktail – coconut rum, cranberry juice, and pineapple juice. It's one of my personal favorites. Easy to make, delicious to drink, will sneak up on you if you're not careful.**

 **Couple people asked about my thoughts on the new season of OITNB so…**

 ***maybe SPOILER ALERT***

 **Loved the new prison. I lived for all the back-stabbing drama. I hate that so many of my faves got YEARS added on their sentences. Carol and Barb are the kind of insane I absolutely love seeing written for women on TV (word to Cersei on GoT). Justice for M and T (re: the last episode). Lastly, fuck the system.**

 **See you next chapter :)**


	6. Chapter 6

_**Lima, Sunday, 1 week ago**_

 _ **Brittany POV**_

Loud noises beyond the door startled me awake. I looked around expecting to be surrounded by the blue walls of my bedroom but was met instead with the soft pink ones of Sugar's bathroom. My legs ached as I got up from the toilet to wash my hands. The few moments I took to rest my eyes must have been way longer than I had planned. My reflection stared back, and I couldn't help but giggle. Everything was so much funnier when I was tipsy. My eyes were droopy, and my hair disheveled, but I didn't feel as blasted as before.

Looking in the mirror, I noticed my mouth smeared in the red tinge of Santana's lipstick and a grin immediately emerged. Making out with Santana was probably one of my top 3 favorite past-times. Besides dancing and having incredible lady sex with Santana. That would always be number one on any list.

Really, I just wanted to find her and finish what we had started on the bathroom wall. Even though our extremely hot make out session had ended abruptly, it was still better than I ever remembered it being in our months apart. Her skin felt and tasted so amazing. The feel of her hands on me was everything. All I could think about was exploring the rest of her body, making her moan in that incredibly sexy way she did when she was turned on, and feeling her naked body writhe under mine.

After wiping the lipstick off my face, I walked out of the bathroom expecting to see Santana, but the hallway was dark and empty, the only sounds coming from conversations in the kitchen and the living room speakers. I took a step to find her but had to catch myself from falling when my feet tripped over something on the floor.

"Huh?" Tina groaned from the floor.

"Tina?" I asked in confusion. "Why're you on the floor? Where's Santana?"

"You took so long in the bathroom, I fell asleep waiting," Tina said, rubbing her eyes and yawning. Her eyes weren't even open as she kept talking to me. "Santana was here before I fell asleep. I don't know what happened after." Before I knew it, her head was back against the wall, mouth drooping open.

I silently cursed when I went to text Santana only to remember I had given her my phone while I used the bathroom.

Stepping over Tina, I made my way toward the open door of the bedroom to find Artie and Ryder passed out on the bed, but no Santana.

Closing the door behind me, I ventured to the living room where I spotted Sugar dancing with Jake on the dancefloor, Blaine kissing Kurt on the pool table, Rachel and Unique singing along to whatever was playing on the stereo, but no Santana.

I journeyed away from the blare of the music to find Puck, Mercedes, and Sam congregating in the kitchen, but still no Santana.

"Why the long face, Britt?" Puck asked as I wandered in.

"I've been looking for Santana everywhere, but I can't find her. Have any of you seen her?" I inquired.

"Your other half was throwing up in the sink about an hour ago," Puck mentioned. "I'm a little disappointed. I thought Lopez could handle her liquor better than that."

Guilt instantly flooded me. While I'd been sleeping on the toilet, Santana had been out here sick by herself. I guess she wasn't really by herself since we were surrounded by our friends, but she wouldn't want anybody to see her sick like that. I should've been there to take care of her.

It was weird. Santana and I had drunk our weight in liquor many a night during our McKinley days. We were practically pros at this. She must've really been sick if she threw up in the kitchen.

"Yeah, I tried to check on her, but she shoved me out of the way and bolted upstairs," Sam said. "She didn't look too hot."

That wasn't true. Santana always looked hot.

I noticed the way Sam's arm settled around Mercedes' shoulder, but she didn't seem to mind. Maybe I should've felt a way that my ex-boyfriend was doing that in front of my face, but I didn't. Sam and Mercedes both seemed content, and all my feelings were wrapped in the beautiful Latina woman I was searching for.

"Don't worry, Britt. I'm sure she just needed some air," Mercedes reassured. "Here, have a water."

I took the bottle Mercedes handed me, downing it quicker than I thought I would. Now that my top was back on, the running around to find Santana didn't help my feeling warm again.

"Thanks, guys," I said, grabbing another water off the counter. "I'm gonna go find her."

#

Sugar's "backyard" was a jungle. Actually, it was really more like a tropical rainforest.

I had walked out the backdoor to find Santana and was led directly to a stone-encrusted walkway bordered by trees and vegetation. I followed the walkway through an underpass entirely arched by tropical trees. Tiki torches lined the archway, making the passage visible even in the dead of night.

It was quiet, save for a soft splashing that got louder the further I got down the path.

When the archway ended, the pathway opened to a pier-like rising that looked across a beautiful lake. Fireflies dotted the air, mingling with the stars in the night's sky. A fountain spurted from the middle of the lake, glowing in a rolodex of colors that changed every few seconds. The Mottas sure did have a breathtaking estate.

It was then that soft murmuring drew my attention to a wooden bench near the end of the pier. The relieved sigh at seeing that familiar wave of ebony hair caught it my mouth as I noticed a short blonde bob next to her.

The closer I walked, the clearer their words became.

"It's not that easy," Santana sighed. She sounded tired and hurt.

"It is that easy. You're just making it harder than it is. Besides, if I clung to the fact that Puck has slept with half of Lima's female population, including the entire Unholy Trinity, I wouldn't be as happy with him as I am now."

A mirthless chuckle is all Santana gave in response.

I must've been within earshot by then because Quinn's head turned to me in surprise before her face softened.

Santana turned toward me too but worry flooded me when I found that the adoring, lust-tinged look I had left her with in the bathroom had disappeared. She'd wiped off her eye makeup when we were back in the bathroom, but I could tell from the pink tinge and puffiness in her eyes that she'd been crying again. My heart hurt seeing her like that, and all I wanted to do was wrap her in my arms and protect her from whatever pain she was feeling.

"I should go," Quinn said, looking between us. "I'll see you back downstairs." She got up, letting go of the light-brown hand she had been holding, and I couldn't help but bristle as she walked past without another word.

I took the seat beside Santana on the bench, watching her profile as she seemed entirely focused on the ever-changing colors of the fountain before us.

"San, honey, are you okay? Puck said you were sick. Here," I said, handing her the bottle of water, "I brought you this."

Wordlessly, she took it and drank a few sips, her attention still on the fountain. Something was definitely wrong if Santana had nothing to say to me.

"Sweetie, what's going on? Have you been crying again?" I reached out to brush the hair from her face and settle a hand on her shoulder, but she shot up to stand when I touched her.

"Liv called," she spat through clenched teeth, keeping her eyes on that damn fountain. Her jaw jumped, and the small vein in her forehead, her angry vein, became more pronounced. "She had some pretty choice things to say about how much she missed you."

"Liv? My friend from MIT?" I waited until Santana gave a discernible nod. "Okay… That still doesn't tell me why you're upset," I prompted.

She whirled around to face me then, nostrils flaring and anger evident on her face.

"I'm upset because Tom, Dick, Harry, and the rest of the MIT population have been trying to get at you all goddamn week," her voice raised.

"Who? I don't know a Harry or a Tom. Unless it's Tom Cruise."

"Jesus, I'm talking about your fucking fuck buddies, Brittany. The ones who have been sexting you the entire fucking week we've been together," she yelled, tossing my cell phone on the bench. I took the phone, skimming through the message logs, while Santana's tirade continued. "Here I am, spilling my fucking heart out to you, getting ready to leave my whole-ass life behind and follow you across the world, and all the while, your fucking booty calls have been hitting you up non-stop. Christ, I feel like a fucking fool."

I looked through the phone, but, other than a few new messages from Liv, there wasn't anything new that I hadn't breezed past in the last few weeks. Suddenly, her conversation with Quinn became clearer.

"Wait, what are you getting at, Santana?" I asked disbelieving. "No, I'm really asking. I'm still too buzzed to read between the lines right now."

It had to be the residual alcohol in my system making me jump to conclusions because Santana couldn't possibly be accusing me of cheating on her. I know we hadn't talked about whether or not we were dating again, but it was pretty obvious, to me anyway, that Santana was the only person I wanted to be with.

When my question was met with silence and an averted gaze, I started to think that maybe it wasn't as obvious as I thought.

"Santana." I got up to stand closer to her. "Santana, look at me," I urged, moving my head into her line of vision until her hard, misting, brown eyes locked onto mine again. I needed her to really see me when I spoke.

"You know me. We may have been apart for a while, and a few things about us may have changed, but I'm the same person you fell in love with in that choir room. The same one you've been through the hardest moments of your life with. The same one who loves you more than anything else in this world. And you know me better than anybody else does. Do you believe that?"

It took a few seconds, but she nodded warily.

"Do you remember the day we broke up and we were sitting in the choir room?"

She nodded.

"You said you'd never cheat on me, and I believed you. Did you believe me then?"

She nodded.

"Do you believe me now?"

She dropped her head as a tear fell from her eyes, sniffling as she brought it back up to return my gaze. Her face was significantly softer, and the creases of anger had disappeared. She nodded.

I breathed a sigh of relief and uncrossed her arms, taking one of her hands in mine.

"Then ask me what you wanna know," I offered, rubbing my thumb across the back of her hand feeling her nail softly scratch inside my palm.

Her eyes searched mine, so I took the moment to wipe away a stray tear from her cheek.

"Why are those assholes still texting you, Britt?" her voice cracked.

"Hey, stop," I admonished. "Those assholes were my friends."

"Friends you fucked," she hissed, the angry creases deepening again.

"Friends, nonetheless."

I arched an eyebrow at her when she didn't say anything but glare at me.

"Fine," she conceded. "Not assholes."

The corners of my lips turned up slightly as my hand squeezed hers.

"The texts and pictures you saw are from a few friends with benefits I had back at MIT," I explained. "We'd hook up sometimes, when I wasn't busy in the math lab. It was never anything serious with any of them. It was all just sex."

I used a hand to urge her face back to mine when she looked away. I needed her to listen to me.

"But I haven't been paying any attention to them, Santana. I need you to know that. You have been the only person I've been able to think about for the past two weeks, ever since I laid eyes on you again. When a text or a call would come in from one of them, I'd ignore it. Especially if I saw it was just about sex. It wasn't worth wasting the time I was spending with you. I didn't want to talk to any of them because I don't want to be with any of them. You're the one that I want. You're the only one that I've ever wanted, Santana."

The only person I had talked to with any connection to MIT the past two weeks was Kiki, the software my colleagues had installed on my phone to be a suitable companion to keep my brain fresh in my time away from the lab. She was like Siri if Siri was Einstein. All we really did was play chess and solve non-linear equations together.

"And Liv? She seemed to really be dying without you. Called you 'babe' and everything," Santana muttered in annoyance.

"That's Olivia. She was my roommate turned friend turned friend with benefits, too."

"Ugh, you slept with that British bitch, too?"

"Santana," I chided.

"I'm sorry," she said earnestly as her head shook. "It just… It drives me fucking crazy when I think about you being with anybody else."

"I know. I'm so sorry you had to find out like that. I wasn't trying to hide anything from you, Santana. Please believe me," I implored.

She closed the gap between us to wrap her arms around my waist, resting her chin on my shoulder. I breathed deeply, reveling in the citrusy smell of hair.

"I believe you, Britt," she said quietly. "You're a horrible liar, anyway."

I chuckled, relieved at the warm smile on her face when we pulled apart.

"I'm sorry again, San," I repeated. "I should've said something to them a while ago."

"It's okay," she said, intertwining our fingers. "You're lucky I love you so much."

"I love you, too," I grinned.

"I'm sorry I yelled at you," she said, pushing strands of my hair behind my ear. "It's a little harder to keep Snixxx in check when I've had a few drinks."

"I get it," I said. "The thought of you with anybody else gets me hot, and not in the fun way. Sophomore year, I put worms in Puck's locker every day when you guys were hooking up. I'm not even sure he noticed. His locker was a landfill."

"Is that why you've been acting so weird around Quinn?" she smirked as my face fell.

"Wha- what do you mean?" I stammered.

"Oh please, Britt," Santana rolled her eyes. "You've been giving her the cold shoulder all night and for the past two weeks. You practically danced around her when we did _Toxic_ together. I don't think you two had a fight, so what's up?"

I felt my face start to heat up. I hadn't realized my recent disdain for Quinn was so obvious. Really, I didn't realize I had such a problem with her until I saw her again in person.

"Quinn's different. I know you hooked up with girls at Louisville and in New York, but, besides Dani, that was just sex. Like my friends with benefits were just sex. It didn't mean anything. But Quinn's like your best friend aside from me. And you slept with her. Last time you slept with your best friend, this happened." I motioned between the two of us. "It must've meant something. Even if it was the tiniest part of you."

Santana's brown eyes searched mine, and I couldn't help the rush of heat that filled my face. Artie had been the one to tell me about Santana and Quinn hooking up at Mr. Schue' s wedding. I'd seen them at the reception drinking, slow dancing together, but I didn't think anything of it. I mean, it was just Quinn. But then, they had sex. Had that attraction always been there? Even when we were together at McKinley?

"Brittany," Santana said slowly. "The only thing that me sleeping with Quinn meant was that we had topnotch fake IDs. We were both so drunk that night and very emotionally vulnerable. Her loser professor had just dumped her, and you were dancing with your boyfriend all night. That shit hurt, so I slept with Quinn to get my mind off you and Sam. Not because I've been pining for her all these years. It could've been any other blonde at that party who was drunk and swearing off men looking to get some lady love."

She took her free hand and cupped my face.

"You have nothing to worry about with Quinn," she reassured. "There's no one else in this world I'd rather be with. You're it for me, Britt. Okay?"

Looking in her warm, brown eyes, I felt nothing but love oozing from her. I might not go back to being besties with Quinn anytime soon. But this was a start.

"Okay," I replied.

She smiled and lifted our conjoined hands to kiss the back of mine.

"Would you have acted the same way around Dani if she were here?" she asked.

"Probably," I muttered. I wasn't sure how I'd react to seeing Santana's ex-girlfriend, but the thought didn't make me feel very cordial.

"What about Elaine?"

"Your relationship with Elaine was faker than your boobs, San. Come on."

She laughed genuinely, her nose scrunching up in that adorable way, and I laughed along with her.

"Come here," she smiled, pulling me into her for a slow, unhurried kiss. After fighting with her, this kiss was like the first taste of water after a ten-mile run.

She smiled contentedly as we pulled apart.

"Ready to head back?" she asked.

"One sec," I said, stepping out of her embrace to unlock my phone again.

"What're you doing?" Santana asked as I typed out and sent a message.

"Something long overdue." When I was finished, I showed her the screen. "I need you and them to know that they're all in the past." 

_**To: Liv, Alex, Rashad, Connor, Derek, Chloe, Nina, Joan Baez, Diego, Melisa Rivers …**_

 _Not going back to MIT. Leaving the country tomorrow with my girlfriend. Bye :)_

"You are my present and my future, Santana."

She looked up from the screen beaming with a wide grin.

"Girlfriend, huh?" she asked.

"I mean, I don't want anybody else. You don't want anybody else. It feels like we've been dating already." I smiled, pulling her back to me by her waist. "How about we make it official? Be my girlfriend again?"

She rubbed her finger on her chin in contemplation.

"I don't know," she deliberated. "I was gonna see what Elaine has been up to these days."

"Shut up," I laughed as she joined in before placing her arms around my neck.

"Of course, I'll be your girlfriend, Britt."

I smiled so hard my face hurt before pressing my lips to Santana's. I hugged her closer to me before lifting her off the ground and spinning us in a circle. She laughed against my mouth until I set her back down.

I pulled back to look at her beautiful face. Seeing her smile like that was still making my heart race. I felt incredibly lucky to call her mine again. This time would be different. I knew what it was like to live without Santana, and I wasn't going to do that again. I wanted her. Always and forever.

"Ready to run away with me?" I asked.

"Always, babe," she replied before leaning in to kiss me one more time.

* * *

 **A/N: Thanks to all of you who keep reviewing. It's a nice reminder when I feel uninspired that there's someone waiting for the next chapter. Y'all keep me going :)**


	7. Chapter 7

_**Lesbos, Present Day, June 2013**_

 _ **Santana POV**_

It was pitch-black. I peered around, but the only source of light I could find came from the blinding spotlight illuminating only myself. I didn't dare move from this spot. It was so dark, I didn't know if my next step would lead to me falling off a cliff. I couldn't smell anything. I couldn't feel anything. I couldn't see anything but myself. When I opened my mouth to speak no words came out. My vocal chords strained as I yelled, but not the slightest sound escaped.

My chest began to tighten. There seemed to be a shortage of air in whatever this space was I was trapped in. The more breaths I took, the more constricted my lungs felt. When I began hyperventilating is when the noise started.

It started slow, like an impending wave until it surrounded me. A low chorus of boos swelled all around me. I couldn't tell where they were or who they were, but I could hear them. Loud, clear, and decisive in their disapproval. Each way I turned, they seemed to get louder and louder until the entire orchestra of naysayers filled my thoughts. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't move. I wanted to run even if it was off a cliff, but my feet wouldn't move no matter how hard I willed them to. The only thing I could do was crouch down, hoping that making myself smaller would make me invisible, that barricading my ears with my palms would drown out the hecklers, that clenching my eyes shut would hide that painfully bright light above me. It didn't. Instead, everything got louder, brighter, and the space felt like it was closing in on me.

 _Santana._

I heard my name from the sea of jeers.

 _Santana._

My palms clamped tighter over my ears. The boos were morphing into a mocking refrain of my name. I couldn't take it anymore.

 _San._

My eyes jolted open. The darkness was gone. So was the booing. Instead, I squinted as my eyesight adjusted to bright sunlight bursting into the room. Familiar sights of the junior suite came into view. The mini-kitchen area, the couch that mirrored the TV, the sliding glass door that gave way to the private patio.

My breathing was ragged, and I darted around the room for any sign that I'd plunge into darkness again.

"Hey, you're okay. Sweetie, you're okay." The comforting sound of Brittany's melodic voice soothed me, and the warm hand I felt on my shoulder helped me calm down. My eyes adjusted until I got a clearer view of my usual source of all things warm and good and met Brittany's warm gaze with a smile. Her skin was cool, and her hair was damp. Her slender fingers stroked through my hair softly as her eyes searched all over my face.

"Did you have a nightmare? Your face was all scrunched up when you were sleeping. Like you had to fart."

I giggled softly, grateful that the darkness and the booing and the spotlight were all in my head. Last thing I remembered was lying on the bed, waiting for Brittany to finish showering so we could go eat. Our long day at the beach and venturing through town must have tuckered me out more than I had realized.

"I did," I said with a pout, locking my eyes on her perfect pink lips before shifting back to her eyes. "I think I need something to make me feel better."

Brittany arched a perfect blonde eyebrow at me, taking her lower lip between her teeth.

"Oh, yeah? Like a lollipop?" Brittany asked, but as her voice went lower almost indiscernibly, I knew she knew what I meant.

"I was thinking of something sweeter." With a smirk, I snaked my hand behind her neck, pulling her down to me until our lips met.

"Mmmm, you smell so good," I muttered against her lips as I breathed deeply, the sweet smell of her body wash coming over me.

Our lips slid over each other until I took her bottom lip in mine, feeling her tongue poke at my mouth as I did. I opened up to her, deepening our kiss feeling her fingers tangle in my hair.

She moaned in my mouth, the sound only gassing up my libido. I tightened my hold on her neck, melding our faces together as our kisses became more frantic.

Brittany shifted without breaking our kiss until she was above me, knees on either side of my waist straddling me.

I took advantage of our new position, letting my hands run up the smooth skin of Brittany's thighs left exposed by the dress she wore. I broke my mouth away only to kiss down her jaw and latch onto the pulse point on her neck. The moan that escaped her mouth spurred me to suck the skin there harder and soothe it with my tongue in a combo that drove her wild.

My name escaped her lips in a sexy breath that hit my ear, and she began rocking slowly into me, the warmth of her core hovering over my jeans. My hands on her thighs strayed higher to smooth over the soft curve of her ass. And that's what did it.

She sat up abruptly, breathing roughly and eyes still dark. She looked anywhere but at me, clearing her throat and running a hand through her damp hair as she caught her breath.

"We should go before it gets too dark," she said, kicking off me to stand.

I stood up and excused myself to the bathroom, still trying to recover from what just happened. This wasn't the first time Brittany had stopped us when things were getting hot in the past week we'd been on the island. After our close encounter in the bathroom last Saturday, I thought we were both ready for this next step. Was I wrong?

I took a few minutes to myself to freshen up my makeup where it had smudged as I slept. When I went back out, Brittany was on our room phone talking barely above a whisper.

"…that's fine. Oh, uh. Yes, thank you," Brittany hurriedly ended when she noticed me. "Hey, sweetie, you ready?"

I peered at her flustered face. "Yeah. What was that about?"

"Oh, it was the front desk. I asked if they could tidy our room while we're out."

She grabbed my hand and our keys, pulling me toward the door before I could say anything else.

"Wait, Britt," I stopped before she opened the door.

"What's up?" she asked, brows furrowing in concern.

"Are we… okay?" Her head cocked in confusion, so I elaborated. "It's just. On the bed just now… things ended kinda weird. I mean, I don't want you to do anything you're not ready for. We just haven't gotten close like that since the party. I just want to make sure-"

"Santana," Brittany interrupted. She closed the space between us, cradling my face with her hands as her blue eyes bore into mine. "Baby, we're more than okay. We're perfect." She kissed the top of my head. "We can talk about the bed thing when we get back from dinner. That okay?"

"Okay," I agreed.

She pressed her lips to mine, kissing me repeatedly until I started laughing.

"Okay, okay," I laughed in surrender as her lips assaulted my face.

Brittany laughed in my ear as she pulled me into an embrace. My eyes closed, breathing in the comforting scent of her.

She pulled away but stayed close enough to link one of my pinkies with hers. She brought her other hand up, brushing my hair behind my ear and smiling softly.

"We're okay," she said. "I promise."

#

"Britt, slow down, will you?" I laughed in Brittany's ear, but that only spurred her to go faster.

The wind slapped my face and Brittany's, the blonde tendrils of her hair tickling excitedly against my cheek as I rested my chin on her shoulder. We basked in the cool evening breeze as we cruised down the roadway on our rented candy-apple red Vespa. The ocean waves glinted in the twilight sky beside us on our way into the small town.

Familiar buildings came into view, and she slowed down. I was grateful for the thicker traffic as we got into town mainly because I was relishing the way my arms locked around Brittany's middle, the fabric of her dress the only barrier between us.

She drove us down to the line of shops and restaurants on the town's harbor and parked our cycle before our hands intertwined and we began our search for dinner.

#

"God, this is so good. You have to try some," Brittany said, stabbing a piece of her food and holding it out to me. She was sitting in the seat perpendicular to mine at our table, so her fork didn't have far to travel.

I eyed it wearily. "Is fish supposed to be orange?"

"Sure, Nemo and his dad were orange, right?" Brittany's eyes widened at the realization. "Oh, God. Am I eating Nemo right now?"

I quickly stuck the fork in my mouth to distract Brittany from an impending freak out. "Hm, I doubt it, Britt, but you're right. This is really good." I wasn't even bullshitting. Nemo's cousin tasted pretty good. Whatever hole-in-the-wall restaurant Brittany had insisted we stop and try was actually exceeding my expectations.

"Told ya," Brittany winked. "Oh, you got a little something on your face."

My eyes followed Brittany's finger as she reached over and gently wiped the corner of my mouth with her thumb. My jaw dropped a little when she brought the member up to her own mouth to suck away the particles of food. She went back to her food not realizing the heat she ignited in my pants. Suddenly, I was acutely more aware of the knee casually brushing against mine.

My eyes lingered on Brittany as she ate, and I chose this moment to really look at her. Her hair flowed freely past her shoulders, a light pink from our time in the sun this afternoon. Her golden locks had grown out in the past few months. Her eyes were still the piercing blue I had looked into so many times. Now they were held up by darker circles, probably from her long MIT nights. I noticed they were lighter than when we first got to Lesbos, though. Her face was a little fuller too, so when she smiled, more of her cheeks bunched together. Thinking about it made me smile.

I couldn't help but wonder who this girl was sitting across from me. This wasn't the same Brittany I had convinced to sleep with me because my genitalia was different from her then-boyfriend's. This wasn't the same Brittany I left in Lima to go to school in fuckass Kentucky or even to New York. Sugar's party made me realize she had done a lot of living in our time apart and a lot of growing. This was grown-up Brittany. It was going to take some time getting to know her.

"You're staring," Brittany said, not looking up from the miscolored fish on her plate.

"Want me to stop?" I asked, keeping my gaze on her.

Her head rose then, granting me that cheek-bunching smile I had been waiting to see. She grasped her free hand in mine and intertwined our fingers, bringing them to her lips to kiss the back of mine.

"Never," she breathed, making my heart beat faster.

"You're such a sap," I joked, still flustered as the heat rose to my face.

"You love me, though," she chuckled with one last squeeze of my hand before she let go.

"Damn right I do," I winked at her before focusing on the calamari getting cold in front of me.

"What were you thinking about?" Brittany asked. "Or were you seriously just mesmerized by my good looks?"

The corner of my mouth rose up because although Brittany was so sexy I could spend all day looking at her and never get bored, there were some blank spaces I wanted filled in.

"Tell me about MIT, B. I mean, obviously, it wasn't all calculators and protractors," I joked, but when I didn't hear Brittany laugh, I looked up to see her stiffen and a wary look cross her face.

"What do you want to know?" she asked cautiously.

"Everything," I said. "In some ways, I feel like I'm getting to know you all over again, so I want you to tell me everything."

Her mouth twisted to the side as she contemplated.

"I don't think you want me to," Brittany warned. "The last time you found out about my MIT life, we got in a fight."

I stiffened at the recollection of our argument on the Motta pier. It wasn't our finest hour as a couple, and José Cuervo didn't help how I reacted to the situation. But Brittany was right that night. I knew her. There wasn't anything she could do or say that would make me stop loving her.

"This time's different, Britt," I said. "We're both totally sober, and I'm much more clear-headed. Plus, I'm asking because I really want to know. No judgement, okay. I feel like there's a significant gap in your life I missed out on. I just don't want to be blind-sided again. I want us to start fresh together. Clean slate."

"Clean slate," she repeated like she was tasting the words in her mouth. "Okay."

I smiled when she did, distracted when the waiter came to clear our plates.

"So, tell me about it," I encouraged. "What was it like working with the top minds in America?"

"It was okay," Brittany shrugged.

"Just okay?"

"Well, yeah. It wasn't like Bill Nye kind of fun. They put me on a research team with a bunch of old dudes to solve like all the mysteries of math and physics or whatever, and they gave me a bunch of grant money and full-time class credit for it, so that's all I did. All day, every day. There were just a lot of numbers, a lot of math, a lot of wires people stuck to my head." Brittany shuddered a little as she recalled. "It felt kind of never-ending. One time, I came in early in the morning and started writing this really long equation on the board, and by the time I was finished, the moon was outside, and Justin Bieber was in jail." Brittany gave a resigned sighed. "It felt like I was gonna be writing equations 'til I died."

My head cocked to the side as I looked at Brittany. Just talking about her MIT experience seemed to dim the light in her. It reminded me of when I found her at McKinley, alone in a classroom scribbling numbers on a chalkboard. She wasn't herself. That light that made Brittany _Brittany_ wasn't there.

Instinctively, my hand took hold of hers on top of the table. Her mouth slowly curved into a warm smile, and I saw the light return. There she was.

"So, you didn't like any of the research part of it?"

"Don't get me wrong. Like, I really like math and stuff but being forced to do it all the time just burned me out. And it sucked the fun out of it. It would be like if you were forced to sing all day, every day with no chance to rest your voice."

I nodded as I got what Brittany meant.

"It wasn't all bad, though," Brittany continued. "I met a few people to hang out with and found ways to have some fun when I wasn't cooped up in the lab." Brittany shrugged but her eyes flitted away from mine.

"Would any of these people happen be the boy toys I saw in your phone?" I inquired.

"They weren't all boys," she hedged.

Oh, yeah. Couldn't forget dear, old Liv.

I sighed but rubbed the back of Brittany's hand in reassurance.

"Do you miss them at all?" I asked.

Brittany stopped for a beat and furrowed her brow like she was really thinking about it.

"Yeah, sure. They were the only friends I had for the past few months, especially Liv. But, I can't see myself talking to them like I would you or our Glee friends. They're great, but they're not like family."

I knew what she meant. No matter how far apart or how deep in an argument we may be, I knew I'd be able to call on any of those dorks.

"What'd you do in your free time? And please don't get too graphic," I pleaded.

She chuckled, but I could see she was still wary. "No judgements, right?"

I leaned into her, letting go of her hand only to rest my elbow on the table and extend my pinkie to her.

"No judgements."

I smiled warmly at her when she linked our pinkies together, but my mind couldn't help but race at what Brittany was so hesitant to tell me. I already knew about her hookups, what else could there be? Did she do something illegal? Did she shoot up heroin in the bathroom of strip clubs? Oh, god. Did she join a goddamn sorority? I shook my head internally of my irrational thoughts. I had to let Brittany tell it before I jumped to conclusions.

Her eyes searched mine for a second before she started. "So, I told you I practically lived in the lab, right?" I nodded, and she continued, "Well, my first week at MIT, I met my roommate, Liv, and we hung out a lot before all my work started. She sounded a lot like Kiki from my phone, so I liked her right off the bat. Anyway, anytime I had a chance to get out of the lab, she'd invite me to one of the frat parties, and there was always a frat party. Even at breakfast time. Eventually, it got to the point where I was either in the lab or in a frat house. I can't remember the last time I was in my dorm room for longer than ten minutes."

I bristled a little at Brittany's retelling of her college life. Fraternity douchebags were never to be trusted.

I was probably going to regret asking this, "So where'd you sleep?"

Brittany shrugged, "If not in one of the cots in the lab, then whoever's bed I ended up in that night."

"Oh." I would never be thrilled to hear about the other people Brittany slept with, but I couldn't expect her to have taken a vow of celibacy when we weren't together. Lord knows, I didn't. So, I sucked up whatever pride I felt, and intertwined our fingers, so she'd know I didn't care. It made her smile.

"Anyway, I went to parties to destress a lot. Math always made my brain hurt after a while, but there were always drinks and people and party favors that made it stop hurting."

"Party favors?" I highly doubted the frat assholes were handing out stickers and noisemakers.

"Yeah, you know. Pot… pills… edibles… Nothing harder than like Molly. They made me feel not-so-miserable. At least for a little while."

My eyes widened slightly at Brittany's admission. Of course, I knew what went on at frat parties. Although, the threat of some drunk asshole rubbing up on me was enough to make me want to slit my throat, I did go to my fair share at the University of Louisville. I guess I didn't want to picture Brittany indulging in the sex, drugs, and rock n' roll lifestyle that I had dipped my toe in myself.

"How do you feel now? Still miserable?"

She cocked her head to the side and smiled warmly at me. "Please. I can never be miserable when I'm with you." Her bright smile faded as she continued to speak, "Back in the day you used to be so pissed when you'd hear about me and the guys on the football team. Even at the party, you kinda bugged out. You're taking this a lot better. What's changed?"

I took a deep breath before giving Brittany an answer. "If I'm being totally honest, it does irk me every time I hear about you being with someone else. But, I can't fault you for things you did when we weren't together. Especially when I did very similar things. That night at the party, the texts caught me off-guard, and me being drunk didn't help at all, but I've thought about it a lot the past few days. I know you love me, Britt, and I know come hell or high water, we're meant to be together. Nothing could ever make me feel any less about you. I love you no matter what, B."

I meant it. Even if she was a heroin-addicted sorority chick running from the law, I'd still love her to pieces. Hell, I'd hide out here in Lesbos with her forever if I had to.

She searched my eyes for a moment, and I guess she liked what she saw because she blushed and smiled that beautiful smile at me. Before I realized what was happening, she leaned in and placed a soft kiss on my lips.

"I love you, too, Santana." Her hand caressed my cheek as I gazed into the hypnotizing blue eyes of my girlfriend. My face hurt a little from smiling so much. "What about you?" Brittany asked when she pulled away, capturing my hand with hers again. "Are there any secret ex-girlfriends from Louisville I should expect to pop up in the future?"

"Not unless Elaine decides she wasn't faking it," I said, rewarded by a cute giggle from Brittany. "No. I hooked up with my fair share of Louisville's questioning female populace and a sizable part of New York's East Village, but besides Dani, I never had feelings for any of them. Although, there was one girl that stalked me for a little bit after we had sex. She had the crazy eyes, so who knows? You might have to go all Beyoncé in _Obsessed_ on a bitch."

She smiled, rubbing a thumb over the back of my hand.

"Why'd you drop out?" she asked softly.

I blinked, stiffening as Brittany's question caught me off-guard and was instantly taken back to one of the lowest points in my life.

"Um, well. It's not like I dropped out the middle of classes. I just didn't go back for the new semester." My eyes dropped to my lap as I fiddled with the hem of my blouse. When I felt Brittany squeeze my thigh, I looked back up to those warm, blue eyes that made recounting my college experience a little easier.

"It was fucking awful," I muttered through the lump forming in my throat. "I had no one there. Cheerleading took up most of my time, and none of the bitches on that squad gave a shit about me. One of them literally pushed me off the pyramid, so she could be on top." My jaw clenched as I remembered the sprained ankle I had suffered at the hands of that bitch Jenny whose uniforms had been mysteriously vandalized with bleach that same night making her too unpresentable to perform. Strange. "I just felt so lonely. Sure, I went to parties, but I didn't have any genuine friends that I could just talk to, you know? No one who understood me. That coupled with the rumor I heard about you dating Sam put me in a pretty deep funk. When it was time to register for classes again, I just…couldn't. The thought of going back to that school for even another minute made me want to jump off a building."

"What'd you do, then?" Brittany asked. "Everyone still thought you were in school. Even your parents."

"I couched surfed for the most part. Some of the girls I hooked up with let me stay over longer than they should have. Got a job as a phone sex operator to make some extra money. That was… interesting, to say the least." I looked down to where our hands were linked together perfectly. "I just… I couldn't bring myself to tell anybody. I felt like a fucking failure."

"San, honey, you didn't fail. You were unhappy. It makes sense why you wouldn't want to go back."

"I guess. It was just embarrassing as hell. My dad's a fucking doctor, and I dropped out of college after my first semester."

Brittany held my hand in both of hers, tracing the inside of my palm with her fingertips.

"Well, if it makes you feel any better, I'm a college dropout now, too. So, you're not alone. We should start our own club. _Dropouts Anonymous_."

A chuckle escaped my lips as Brittany's face split into a toothy smile.

"Do you regret not going back?" she asked after a beat.

I thought about it seriously, but all I could really focus on was the amazing woman in front of me. In a split second she could take me from glum to giddy like it was nothing. I was so lucky to be with her.

"No," I answered. "I'm glad that I left. It's a constant struggle trying to make it, but I do love living in New York. And all the decisions I made have led me to be here in this restaurant in Lesbos with you, my girlfriend." I smiled and brought her hands up to my lips. "That makes it all worth it."

She grinned adorably as I leaned in to kiss her one more time.

After dinner, we walked down the harbor streaming with a few people, eating popsicles from a store we found a few buildings down from where we had dinner until all we had were empty popsicle sticks in our hands. The sea air was cool and salty, but Brittany's warm hand in mine made up for it.

As we walked and talked, I looked over to see her laughing at something I had said. Brittany's laugh flowed through me and made my insides warm up. Her head tilted back, blonde hair flowing behind her. Her eyes crinkled, and her face pinkened. And her smile. God, that smile. I'd do anything to see her smile like that for the rest of my life.

"You're so beautiful, B."

Brittany's laughter faded to a charmingly bashful grin that she failed to hide by biting her lip.

"You're sweet, San."

I smiled as I leaned in to kissed her softly, tasting the lingering cherry flavor on her lips.

"Only speaking facts, babe."

We started walking again as a comfortable silence settled between us, shoulders brushing together as we ventured back to our parked ride.

A rush of panic flooded through me, however, when I touched my front and back pockets and didn't find the key to the Vespa.

"Britt, have you seen the keys?" I asked, hoping they would magically appear the more I touched my pockets.

"No. Remember, you said you'd hang on to them since you actually have pockets," Brittany said as she gestured to her sundress.

"Shit," I said under my breath. "They must have fallen out of my pocket."

"Your pants _are_ pretty tight, San," Brittany said huskily, dragging her eyes down my body in an oh-so-delicious way and hooking a finger in my front pocket, pulling me to her. "Not that I'm complaining, but I'm surprised you fit anything in there at all."

I put my hands on her arms to restrain myself and focus on the task at hand.

"Stay here, okay. I'm gonna go back and check the restaurant real quick."

"No, I'll come with you," Brittany pouted.

"I won't be long, babe. I promise. Guard our ride." I kissed her pout away, leaving her with a small smile before she could protest any further.

I walked briskly to the restaurant, eyeing the walkway looking for any sign of the key. As I entered the restaurant, thankfully, our waiter from dinner noticed me immediately and motioned for me to wait as he disappeared into a back room. When he reappeared, I breathed an audible sigh of relief and thanked him profusely when he held up a silver key adorned with the small rubber duck key chain Brittany had picked out.

I held it tight in my fist as I left the restaurant, nearly jogging back to where I'd left Brittany. My steps slowed abruptly, however, as Brittany came into sight, and I noticed that she wasn't alone anymore.

Her face was animated as she talked to the woman in front of her.

"There she is," Brittany called, holding a hand out for me to take as I got closer to them. "This is my girlfriend, Santana. San, honey, this is Raven." She gestured to the woman in front of us.

Now that I was up close, I could see how gorgeous this woman was. Like, insanely pretty. Maybe even giving me a run for my money. The woman was tall, taller than Brittany, with smooth, flawless cocoa-brown skin. A silver nose ring glinted from her left nostril. Her kinky hair was out and puffed around her like a cloud, dark-brown except for the sharp white streak running across the front of her hair.

"Your girlfriend couldn't stop talking about you," Raven smiled. "I was starting to think she was making you up."

My eyebrows raised, taken aback by her American accent.

"Wait, you're not from here, are you?" I asked, intrigued, as my arm found its way around Brittany's waist.

"You could tell? I thought I was blending in so well with the locals by now." Raven laughed revealing a set of perfect white teeth. "No, I'm from California. I'm on a study abroad program for the summer for UCLA."

"She's studying lesbians, San," Brittany squealed excitedly.

"Not exactly," Raven countered. "I'm a Literature major, so I'm doing a study on the Greek poet Sappho. She was native to Lesbos, and she's rumored to have written to and about women. So, I guess I'm studying an _alleged_ lesbian."

"Isn't that so cool, Santana," Brittany enthused. "When I saw her, I totally thought she got electrocuted because of her hair, and I asked if she needed to go to the ER. Turns out she's American like us. I got really excited."

"Yeah, there's not many of us out here. I've been here a month already and only know one other American guy who I barely ever see. It's a relief having a whole-ass conversation in English again. I've gotten Greek down, though. Enough to order food and get around at least."

"You should give us your info," Brittany offered. "We've only been here a few days, so all we know so far is the harbor."

"Please, do hit me up," Raven said, scribbling on a piece of paper she pulled out of her purse. "I'll show you guys around. I'm dying to hang out with other girls my age who understand me."

"We definitely will," Brittany said with a smile, returning Raven's wave as she left before turning back to me. "She seems cool, doesn't she?"

I nodded slowly, squinting at Raven's retreating back as she disappeared into the night.

* * *

 **A/N: Thanks to all of you who reviewed! I love getting your reactions from each chapter.**

 **Also, the months/dates in this story may not match up with the show because the timeline of the show was sketchy to begin with.**

 **This update took a little longer to get posted because, life. I'd like to say that I'll update quicker, but that's not a promise I can keep. Just know I'm not leaving this story incomplete.**

 **See you next chapter!**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: This chapter is a continuation of the last. I split them up, so I could take my time with this one. You'll see why. Enjoy ;)**

* * *

 **Lesbos, June 2013**

 **Brittany POV**

"Thank you, Abel. You're the best," I smiled, slipping the front desk attendant what I hoped was the Lesbos-equivalent of a twenty-dollar bill. From the way his eyes lit up, it might have been more. Oh, well. He deserved it.

I made my way back to where my girlfriend was sitting in the lobby waiting in one of the couches. Santana's legs and arms were crossed as she gnawed on her lower lip. She'd been quiet ever since our ride back to the hotel.

"Good news," I chirped, holding my hand out for her to take. "They said our room is spick and span."

"I feel like we would've figured that out when we got to the room, B."

"Yeah, but then I wouldn't have been able to swipe these mints from the bowl at the front desk."

Santana smiled as I opened my palm filled with two complimentary mints. She took one and popped it in her mouth while I put the other one in mine. We walked down the long hallway to our room on the far end of the first floor.

"You're in a mood," I stated, letting her hand go to wrap my arm around her shoulder. I felt hers wrap around my waist as we fell in step together.

"I am not in a mood," she grumbled.

I quirked an eyebrow at her as we slowed in front of our door.

"Fine, I'm not in the best mood," she conceded.

"What's going on?" I asked, trailing a finger down the smooth expanse of her neck to her shoulder. I smiled when I noticed her sharp intake of breath.

"It's just that Raven chick," Santana sighed. "I couldn't get a good read on her. I'm not sure how I feel about her yet."

"Well, we only talked to her for like five minutes, San. She's barely out of 'stranger' status. Why are you even worried?"

"Anytime a woman that looks like that is talking to my girlfriend, I pay extra attention."

I smirked as she set her mouth in a hard line and a worried crease appeared between her eyebrows.

"Baby, are you jealous?" I teased, wrapping my arms around her neck. "I mean, I get it. I am pretty irresistible."

She hit my shoulder playfully and rolled her eyes but averted her gaze.

"I'm not jealous. I'm… cautious."

"So… jealous." I laughed softly when her lips pursed, and her eyes narrowed. "Sweetie, you don't have to be." I kissed her temple. "You are the sexiest woman I have ever met." I kissed her cheek. "You are all mine." I kissed her neck. "And I am all yours." I kissed her lips. "There's nothing to worry about."

"I've still got my eye on the girl," she said, a bashful smile gracing her lips.

"And I've got my eye on you."

I kissed her again with purpose this time, pressing my lips firmly against hers. My fingers dove into her loose, silky hair as our lips slid against each other.

Her back fell against the door as her hands gripped at my waist and pulled me into her. A moan fell from my mouth to hers when I felt her teeth nip at my bottom lip.

"Britt," Santana breathed against my mouth. "We should go inside."

I nodded against her forehead, but our lips stayed connected.

When she finally pulled away, she turned to put her key in the door, but I kept my hands on her waist and my lips on her neck.

"Baby, I can't concentrate," she chuckled airily, turning her head to the side to expose more of her neck to me.

"It's a key, San," I whispered, nipping at her earlobe. "Just stick it in."

We practically tumbled into the room when Santana got the door open, laughing as she tugged me by the hand. I followed her in, careful not to run into her back when she stopped abruptly near the entrance of the room.

I grinned as I saw what our standard junior suite had been transformed into. The sweet smell of vanilla wafted through the air. The lights were off, the room dimly lit by an assortment of little electric candles placed strategically all around the room. The chairs and couch were draped in red and white décor. A tray of champagne, chocolates and fruit spread out on our dining table. Rose petals formed a perfect path from where Santana's feet stood to the foot of our bed which was also adorned with rose petals shaped in a heart and two towels folded into swans. It was everything I imagined it to be.

I wrapped my arms around Santana's middle where she still stood motionless. She gazed around the newly-transformed room as I moved her hair away from her neck.

"So, I've been feeling a little guilty this past week," I said softly into Santana's ear. "As hot as it was, and it was _so_ hot, our first time being together again shouldn't have been us drunk and pressed up against a bathroom wall during a party. It should be special." I pressed a kiss where her neck and shoulder met. "Because you're special, Santana."

"Britt," her voice cracked quietly, "how did you…?"

"I had some help from Abel at the front desk. He helped me plan it out this week."

Santana turned around in my arms until she was looking at me with misty, brown eyes.

"You did all this for me?" her voice wavered. I nodded, smiling down at her. "Why?"

My brows knitted together as I looked at her. It was the most obvious thing in the world.

"I love you, Santana. I'd do anything for you. You deserve all of this and more. Actually, I wanted fireflies to spell out 'I love you' on the wall, too, but they all died so…"

She let out a small laugh as a tear escaped and rolled down her face. Her hands interlocked behind my neck.

"You're amazing, Britt. I love you so much."

My face split into a smile as I wiped my thumb at her wet face.

"Well, my girlfriend's pretty amazing," I said, kissing her cheek. "Plus, it's Friday. Our first Friday back together. You know how we've always ended Date Night." I winked, and her eyes went wide.

"Oh, yeah?" she bit her lip, shifting her eyes between mine and my lips. "Are you sure?"

I tilted and dropped my head until my lips were just shy of hers, until I could feel the breath from her parted lips mix with mine.

"I've never been surer."

I closed the gap between us to press my lips to Santana's soft, full ones. I kissed her and let the passion I had held back for her the past week push through.

My hands gripped at her hips to pull her body against me. Her hand gripped the back of my head as she pulled me closer to deepen our kiss. I moaned into her mouth, tasting the lingering peppermint flavor on her tongue. My hands trailed up the hem of her shirt, searching for the warm flesh there. Santana's breath hitched when my fingers teased at the skin of her lower back.

"Touch me, Britt." Santana breathed against my lips. She pulled away far enough, so she could pull her top off with one smooth motion.

My eyes roamed the length of her naked torso and heaving chest. The brown of her skin glowed beautifully in the candlelight.

"No stopping this time?" she asked, bringing my eyes back to hers.

I shook my head, anticipation flooding through me as I saw the heated look on her face. "No stopping."

I crashed our lips together again, tasting her smile. My hands roamed the expanse of her back needing to feel every inch of her, limited only by her bra.

She tugged on the straps of my dress, and I took heed, removing my straps and shimmying until the dress pooled at my feet. Santana kissed me relentlessly until her lips dropped to that special spot on my neck.

"Santana," I breathed. "I want you. So bad." My hands gripped at her hair, keeping her locked onto my neck. My eyes rolled back when she sucked hard then moved her tongue over the same spot.

I pulled her hair back, so I could meld our lips once again. We kissed hard and sloppily, hands exploring each other's body as I walked Santana backward on the rose-petal path to the foot of the bed.

I released my hold on her lips and caught her gaze, her eyes dark with that familiar need. I sat on the bed, opening my legs as she stood between them. Gripping her slender waist, I pulled her forward as I pressed a kiss to the smooth plane of her stomach before bringing her forward to sit astride me. My hands travelled up her back until they met the clasp of her bra. I looked up into brown eyes for any sign of hesitation as I undid the hook and ran the straps down her arms, discarding the bra somewhere else.

As I gazed at Santana's naked chest, I thought to myself that this is how it should've been in the first place. Unwrapping Santana's clothes like a Christmas present. Giving every inch of her skin the attention it deserved. Reacquainting myself with the taste of her.

I brought her close to me again, dropping wet kisses between the valley of her breasts, across her collarbone then back down to latch onto one of her nipples. My teeth nibbled gently over the nub and tongue swirled around it, sucking lightly.

"Fuck," Santana moaned, tangling her fingers in my hair.

I released her nipple from my mouth with a pop, smiling up at her wanton expression before latching onto the other. My hands spread across her back, smoothing down until they reached the hem of her underwear. I pulled my mouth away from Santana's nipple, looking up at her flushed face as I hooked my fingers into her panties.

She nodded her head frantically, so I gripped my arms around her before flipping us over so Santana's back laid on the array of rose petals.

Santana shrieked in surprise, arms locked around my neck before she giggled as I hovered over her.

"Jesus, Britt," she laughed. "That was fucking hot."

I chuckled softly, bringing my hand up to move the hair out of her face. My eyes took their time on her face, appreciating the unbelievable beauty that was Santana.

"You're fucking hot."

I smiled as Santana grinned at my remark. Her face softened as she looked at me, and her grin faded to a warm smile. That smile that made me feel like so safe and so loved. Nothing else mattered when Santana was looking at me with that smile.

"I love you," she said, tracing my face with her fingers. When she got to my lips, I puckered and kissed her fingertips.

"I love you," I said. We smiled at each other again goofily until our lips met in the middle, and we began kissing again.

Her hand locked around my neck, kissing me deeper as her other hand roamed the length of my back.

I leaned on one arm as the other roamed up Santana's body, grazing across her stomach and breast on its journey.

She let her hand off my neck to unhook the clasp of my bra, and I leaned away just enough so I could take it off without leaving Santana's feverish kisses.

She pulled her lips away, so she could place long, open-mouthed kisses along, my jaw, down my neck, until she could pull my free nipple into her mouth.

"Mmm," I moaned as Santana's talented tongue paid attention to one nipple and her talented fingers paid attention to the other.

I settled into her until my thigh stuck between her legs, and I was straddling one of hers. As she sucked harder, my hips rolled into her, feeling the delicious heat of her center press against my thigh and shooting arousal straight into mine.

"God," I panted, feeling delirious at Santana's ministrations and my center rubbing against her thigh.

I tugged on her thick, black hair, pulling her away to crash my lips back onto hers. She met my feverish need for her with her own, running her hands all over my body.

I gripped my hand on her thigh to hitch it over my hip, allowing my body to roll deeper into her and earn a gasp from her.

"Britt," she panted as I rolled into her again and again, feeling the warm moisture from her panties on my thigh. She hooked her arms around my neck as I did so, locking her hooded brown eyes on mine. "I need you. I need you inside me."

I cupped her cheek and kissed her lips one more time before leaving a trail of kisses down her jaw, her throat, her chest, her stomach, until I hooked my fingers into the hem of her panties. I looked up to see Santana locked intently on my every movement. Smiling, I pulled her panties torturously slow down the length of her legs until I was at the foot of the bed.

I took the moment to stand and appreciate Santana's full, naked body laid out before me. I licked my lips as I hungrily roamed the length of her tan skin, her body even more delectable than I remembered.

"You're staring," Santana smirked as she leaned on her elbows to look at me.

I smirked back as I hooked my fingers into my underwear and shimmied slowly out of my last piece of clothing. I giggled as Santana's mouth opened, and she openly gawked at me before throwing my lacy panties at her face.

"I think you have some drool there, San," I teased, rubbing a thumb over the corner of my mouth.

"Shut up and get your sexy ass back up here," she laughed, throwing my panties back in my direction.

I crawled back on the bed, keeping my eyes on hers as I settled between her and trailed kisses from her feet up her legs. Her breathing became more ragged as my lips pressed to the inside of her thigh then to the other. She spread her legs wider, putting her core on full display for me. I swallowed thickly, watching the moisture glisten her lips.

"You're so wet, Santana," I breathed, my voice low and husky with want.

I watched two of my fingers gently stroke the length of Santana's outer folds, enthralled in the feel of her soft, wet flesh. My eyes flickered to her face, eyes so hooded with desire they were almost closed, mouth parted open as she breathed unevenly. I kept my eyes fixed on her face as I stuck both fingers into my mouth, moaning at the taste of Santana as I licked my fingers cleaned of her.

"Jesus Christ," Santana said under her breath, as her hips bucked up to me.

I giggled softly, curving an arm under her thigh and pressing my hand down on her hip to keep her still.

"Patience, my love." I kissed the inside of her thigh before drawing my attention back to her center. My middle finger grazed up and down her slit once again, coating itself in her juices. It stalled teasingly in front of her entrance.

"Britt, baby, please," Santana whimpered, pleading.

Unable to tease her any longer, I watched the rolodex of emotions cross her face as I pushed my middle finger slowly into her until it couldn't go any further.

Her eyes rolled back as I removed it and pushed it back into her. I kept my pace as I felt Santana adjust to my sliding in her. I added another finger and sped up the pace, pushing harder, as deep into her as I could go, Santana's moans and curses egging me on. Her head fell onto the bed, and I lost sight of her face when I pressed my thumb to rub her clit as I continued to drive into her.

"Stay with me, baby." I kissed the inside of her thigh, moving the hand on her hip to grasp hers that was fisting the sheet. Her head rose again where I could see her chest heaving as she breathed heavily and unevenly, panting as my fingers went in and out of her.

She whimpered at the loss as I removed my fingers and wrapped my hand around her thigh. Immediately, I replaced them with my tongue, licking up the length of Santana's slit.

"Fuck," she drawled out, squeezing my hand as my tongue flicked her clit.

My tongue dove into her, wiggling its way inside her, and I moaned, relishing the all-encompassing taste and feel of Santana. She bucked her hips into me, and I pulled on her thigh, pushing my face as deep into her as I could. She mewled as I twisted my face into her, my tongue exploring her every crevice and nose nudging roughly into her clit.

"Britt… Britt… Britt," she repeated my name like it was the only word she knew. My eyes flickered up to see her body writhing, rolling into me to find her release.

I pulled my tongue out of her only to latch my mouth onto her clit and push my fingers back into her at rapid pace. I sucked harder, pushing my fingers deeper and faster, curling into her to reach that spot that made her scream and her back arch. I pushed hard once, twice, then three more times until her legs wrapped around me, and her thighs clenched the sides of my face. I kept my pace up as her fingers gripped at the back of my head and I heard her shout in ecstasy, reaching her peak. She tried to pull her hips away from me, but I kept a hand pressed on her hip and my mouth on her to draw out every ounce of pleasure for her. When she finally relaxed, and every touch of her clit made her spasm, I pulled away and watched her limp body lie lifelessly on the bed. The only sign she was alive was the rise and fall of her chest as she tried to catch her breath.

I crawled my way up her body, softly kissing the quivering muscles in her abdomen, her defined collarbone, the mole on her shoulder, the expanse of her neck until I reached her face and settled next to her. Her eyes were still closed, but God, did she look beautiful. Light perspiration dotted her face. I wiped the gleam of sweat from her forehead before kissing her temple, her cheek, her chin.

Her eyes opened slowly, still hooded with exhaustion, but they were as warm as ever. A lazy grin slowly split across her face.

"I'm fucking speechless," she said as we laughed together.

"That's a first," I teased, kissing her forehead, fingers caressing the side of her face.

She cupped my face and brought me down for a slow, languid kiss. We stayed like that for a while, kissing in the afterglow of Santana's orgasm. I knew she had regained her strength when she gripped my waist and moved a leg over my hip to straddle me.

When I felt her fingers trail down my body, I pushed lightly on her chest to push her back from kissing me.

"Baby, you don't have to," I said quietly. "I know I wore you out last round."

She smirked and narrowed her eyes in challenge. She dropped her head and placed her mouth next to my ear, tickling the shell of my ear with her tongue.

"If you think that this night is going to pass without me eating you out until you can't feel your legs, then you don't know me at all, B."

She kissed the skin below my ear, sending shivers down my spine, and pulled back to look at me with a devilish smile.

"Now sit back and let me fuck you."

She cupped the side of my neck with her hand, letting her thumb rest on my jaw. Her full lips kissed along the other side of my face, stopping to rest on my neck. My eyes rolled back as Santana sucked lightly on my pulse point, arousal shooting straight down between my thighs.

My hands moved up her smooth thighs, resting on the perfectly round curve of her ass.

"Mmm, Santana," I breathed as she tweaked my nipple lightly with her finger.

She released her mouth from my neck, sitting up and leaning her back on my bended knees. I swallowed audibly as I watched the sight before me. Santana straddling me naked, her long, dark hair framing her beautiful face as she looked ready to devour me. I could come right then and there if I let myself.

"I've been waiting a long time for this, Britt," she whispered seductively, trailing a finger down the length of my body as she appraised me. "I have spent the better part of the last three weeks picturing your beautiful, naked body, writhing beneath me while I have my filthy way with you."

I gripped her ass harder at that, feeling her warm, wet center rub against me.

"Somebody's anxious," she teased. She kept her eyes on me as she reached behind her, dipping a finger inside me, making me gasp before retracting it. She put that finger in her mouth, grinning at me wickedly. "And ready."

She bent down to kiss me again, and I pressed my mouth to her feverishly, my need for Santana becoming overpowering. Our kisses turned frantic and sloppy very quickly as I began urging her ass to rock into me. She pulled away, giving me one last kiss and a wink before slithering down my body, pressing sultry kisses as she went. She settled between my legs, bringing my thighs to rest on her shoulders as she gripped them in place with her hands and dove her tongue inside me.

"Oh, god," I panted, feeling her tongue dig into every fissure inside me. God, I had forgotten how skillful that tongue of hers was. I gripped the pillow above my head, pushing the hair from Santana's face with my other hand. My hips bucked into her mouth on their own accord, and she pressed her face deeper into me with even more fervor.

My toes curled, and my thighs tightened around Santana's head as I felt the delightful buildup of my impending release. Santana must have sensed it, too, because she moved her mouth to suck firmly on my clit, sending my libido into hyperdrive. The way she worked her mouth over my most sensitive spot, it was soon before a blinding wave of pleasure washed over me. Santana's name erupted from my lips as my thighs clenched around her head, but she continued to work me as my body thrashed against the bed in unbridled pleasure.

I dropped heavily back onto the bed as I came down, jerking as Santana happily lapped up every drop of moisture that seeped out of me. My soul felt like it had been sucked out of my body in the best of ways. Santana kissed her way up my body as I lay there, trying to remember how my limbs worked.

There was no mistaking the smug grin on her face as she kissed my cheek and nuzzled her nose with mine.

"Who's worn out now?" she teased.

I grinned at her unable to hide how insanely blissful I felt. I nudged up to kiss her slowly, stroking her tongue lazily with mine.

She smiled at me lovingly before placing an arm around me and gathering me in her arms. I draped an arm around her waist, tangling my leg with her and resting my head on her chest. Her hand ran gently up and down my side as she kissed my forehead, resting her lips against my skin. My fingers toyed with the gold star resting on her chest. I smiled at the small _B + S_ letters engraved on its back.

"I missed you," I mumbled, kissing the skin near her collarbone.

She put a finger under my chin, lifting my head, so I could look into brown eyes as warm as her smile. The back of her finger stroked my cheek.

"I missed you, too." She pressed her lips softly to mine, shifting us both so we were lying on our sides facing each other. She drew lazy circles on my hip as I did the same on the skin of her back.

"Is this why you were leaving me high and dry this week whenever things were getting hot and heavy?" she said, gesturing around the room.

"Yeah, and it wasn't easy," I admitted. "You're crazy hot, and half the time I'm thinking about you naked."

Her dimple deepened adorably as she smiled. "Thank you. For all of this. Honestly, I was getting a little worried that our bathroom hump-sesh was only because of the liquor."

"Please, San. It took, like, superman-strength not to jump your bones this whole week. Especially when you look the way you do in a bikini." She laughed as I squeezed her hip. "You're welcome, though." I dropped my head as I blushed lightly. "Do you like it? I wanted it to feel special."

"Baby, I love it," she said, kissing my lips chastely. "And I love you. More than you know. For the record, every time we have sex, it's special. No matter if we're taking our time in the honeymoon suite in a five-star hotel, having a quickie in the back seat of a car, or that time you fingered me in the back row of Algebra class. I still get the quadratic formula mixed up because of that, thank you."

I giggled as she flicked the tip of my nose.

"Any time we have sex, or make love, or we're just down-right fucking. All of it's special. Because it's with you. It's always been special with you."

My throat choked up at her words, and I tilted my head to kiss her long and deep, letting her know without words how important she was to me.

When my head went back to resting on the pillow we both shared, I looked at her, recalling the first times we had sex. It was clunky and quiet at first. Neither of us really knew what we were doing the first couple times. We definitely didn't talk about it back then. Every time she touched my skin, though, or my lips pressed to her neck, or her fingers delved inside me. I knew it was different, special. Even if neither of us had been ready to acknowledge it.

"So, I could've saved Abel some time and not gone through all this trouble," I joked, tickling her side.

"Shut up," she laughed. "You know I love the hearts and flowers and all that sappy shit."

"I'll give you all the hearts and flowers in the world if it'll make you happy." My thumb traced along her bottom lip as her eyes searched mine. "You know, we still have champagne and all that on the table."

"Later. Come here, babe," she said, bringing us closer as she wrapped both arms around me and rested her cheek against the top of my head. "Right now, I just want to enjoy being with my girlfriend." She kissed the top of my head as I nuzzled into her neck. "I love you so much, Britt." She said it so softly I barely heard it.

"I love you, too, San," I said sleepily into her neck, placing a small kiss there.

We held each other like that in silence until I heard the soft melody of her voice sing to me and smiled.

" _Wise men say only fools rush in_

 _But I can't help falling in love with you_ "

She stroked my hair gently as her words sang out.

" _Shall I stay?_

 _Would it be a sin_

 _If I can't help falling in love with you?_ "

She pressed a kiss to my forehead, and I hummed softly, slowly giving in to drowsiness as the lyrics wrapped around me.

" _Like a river flows surely to the sea_

 _Darling so it goes_

 _Some things are meant to be_

 _Take my hand, take my whole life too_

 _For I can't help falling in love with you_

 _For I can't help falling in love with you_ "

* * *

 **A/N: Fun fact: The ending was inspired by Crazy Rich Asians. If you haven't seen it, go watch it. Such a cute-ass movie! 10/10 would see again.**

 **As usual, let me know what y'all think :)**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N:**

 **Thanks for waiting :)**

 **Translations at the bottom of the chapter.**

* * *

 _ **Lesbos, June 2013**_

 _ **Brittany POV**_

We didn't see Raven again for a few weeks. It took a while to get a working cell phone. Santana's phone had no signal. I guess her Verizon plan didn't cover Europe. Mine would probably have had the same problem if I had even brought it with me.

Kiki wasn't taking it well that Santana and I were girlfriend and girlfriend again, so I left her behind in Lima to give her time to heal. That was tough. Plus, my MIT friends were still sending me pictures even after I told them I was off the market, so it was easier to just ignore them all and leave Lima without my phone. Santana seemed pretty glad that I did that, actually.

At first, we'd tried looking Raven up on Facebook on my laptop, but without a last name, we'd have been scrolling through a _lot_ of people. To quote Santana the first time we'd tried, "There's no way in any of the fiery pits of hell that I'm scrolling through hundreds of 'Ravens' from California. Half of these are bird-watching accounts."

Then, it took going into town a few times and figuring out basic Greek to get some help from the locals to finally find a place we could buy a cheap cell phone. When we finally did get to call her, she was away for a few days in another city doing research for her study, so we made a plan to meet up when she came back.

That didn't happen for, like, a week after the night we had actually met Raven, though. Those first few days after, the majority of our time had been spent with Santana's head between my thighs or her sitting on my face or many other things that involved me rolling around with a naked Santana Lopez. Much like we were doing right now.

"God! Santana, don't stop. I'm… so… close…" I panted as Santana's fingers plunged into me over and over and over again. The tension that was building inside me only urged me on as I bucked into her hand, meeting her rhythm with my own. I pushed my feet against hers for leverage, her legs trapping mine in a tangle as we laid on our sides.

With her mouth close to my ear, I could hear every heavy breath she let out as I rode her fingers on the way to my release. And all the dirty things she whispered to me.

"You feel so good, Britt." I moaned as she swirled her tongue below my ear, pulling it between her teeth. "You like that, baby? You like feeling my fingers inside you? Fucking you?"

I shivered at her words, digging my fingers deeper into the flesh of her perfect ass. God, I loved when she talked dirty to me. Her voice got lower and raspier when she was turned on. It was so sexy.

"Yes…yes…yes…" I panted the only word I could manage to say over and over in time with her thrusts that were hitting me harder and harder.

The feel of Santana's thumb pressing against my clit finally pushed me over the edge.

"God!" I let out a strangled cry and bit down on Santana's shoulder as my walls tightened around her deft fingers.

Her thrusts didn't slow until my hips did as we milked every ounce of my orgasm together.

My head hit the pillow as my body went limp, eyes closed, still reeling from the eruption of pleasure brought on by my loving girlfriend. I hummed in appreciation as I felt her fingers pull out of me and her lips press feather-like kisses along my collarbone.

With the little strength I had, I stroked my fingers up and down her back and rubbed a hand over the curve of her butt.

My eyes opened halfway when I felt her fingers push the hair out of my face and caress my cheek. I smiled lazily at her pleased disposition, a smirk playing on her lips.

"That's a pretty great way to say 'thanks,'" my voice said, low and raspy from our activities.

"Well, you deserved it," she said, smiling as she smoothened my eyebrow. "You fed me."

"I snuck bagels from the buffet, San. I'd barely call that breakfast."

"But they were _really_ good bagels, B. And now that we've had breakfast," she said, kissing her way up my shoulder to my neck, her voice going lower as her tongue licked at the skin beneath my jaw, "I kinda want dessert."

She wiggled her eyebrows and smirked at me before capturing my lips in hers. We stayed like that for a few minutes, kissing and enjoying our bare bodies against each other until Santana started her trail of kisses down my jaw. She had just pressed her lips to my neck when the loud vibration of the phone against the side table reminded us we had places to be.

A sound of obvious annoyance escaped her as I reached over to check the phone.

"San," I tried as her mouth latched onto that sweet spot on my neck. "Uh… sweetie, get up. Raven said she's leaving her place already. Mmm… we gotta go."

"Mm-mmm," she protested against my skin, pulling me further into her.

My mouth moved until my hot breath hit her ear. "We can have _dessert_ in the shower," I breathed, nipping at her earlobe.

Her sharp intake of breath was enough to release her latch on my neck. I took advantage, pulling her by her dark locks and crashing my lips against hers in a searing kiss. A moan escaped from her as we deepened the kiss, my fingers pushing against her shoulder to urge her on her back. Her hands were about to slither up my sides when I pushed off her abruptly to stand.

I trotted across the room to get my towel, giggling as I looked over my shoulder at her heated yet dumbfounded expression.

"Are you coming, or am I having dessert by myself?" I teased, sauntering off to the bathroom.

"You bet your sweet ass I'm coming," she said, whipping off the bed to catch up with me. "And so are you."

#

"See, Britt. We're not late if the girl isn't even here yet."

"She said she'd be by where we met her. Although, everything does looks different at night time."

I held a hand above my eyes to shade me against the sun as I looked beyond the parking lot and across the harbor for Raven.

"Found her," Santana announced.

My eyes followed where her finger pointed to near the pier at a seating area filled with chairs and umbrellas when a big, white-streaked afro came into sight. Raven sat at one of the chairs, looking just as much like a model as the first time we'd seen her. Her long body stretched out casually yet strikingly as she inhaled a drag from her cigarette, looking out over the waters through reflective aviators. She looked exactly like an H&M commercial I had seen on TV. Her white smile shone instantly as she caught sight of us and waved us toward her.

"I was starting to think you blew me off," she said smoothly, eyebrow quirked as she took off her sunglasses and put her cigarette out in the ashtray on the table. In the sunlight, I could see her eyes were a cinnamon-y brown, a few shades lighter than her skin.

"Sorry, we got busy in the shower and time got away from us," I said as we sat in the chairs across from her.

Raven choked on her drink, eyebrows rising near her hairline as she recovered. Santana just shrugged her shoulders when Raven's head turned in her direction.

"Well, then. I, uh, got you guys these while I was waiting," she gestured to the two drinks on the table. "That's a _frappe me pagoto_. It's basically a Greek frappe," she said about the brown drink in front of me that looked similar to the one in her hand. "That one's like a milkshake with Greek ice cream," she said about the orange and yellow swirl in front of Santana.

Giving me a knowing look, Santana switched the drinks between us, and I immediately went to drink what looked like a sunrise in a cup.

"Between us, I'm the coffee drinker," she explained, leaning in to me as I took a sip of the delightfully refreshing drink.

"Yeah, coffee makes my head get like super buzzy, and I get a little crazy. Like when a hamster runs too fast on a wheel and just gets trapped in the spin cycle." Raven laughed as she took another sip and looked between us. "This is really good, though. Thanks for buying us drinks." I tilted my straw toward Santana, so she could take a sip.

"No problem. I figured I'd introduce you to some of the Lesbian delicacies I've tried so far." I giggled as Raven scrunched her face up in a grimace as she caught on to what she'd said, but I placed a hand on Santana's thigh when I noticed her stiffen beside me. "Sorry, that came out wrong."

"No worries. I've got my favorite lesbian delicacy right here." Santana blushed and rolled her eyes, but her body relaxed, and she failed to suppress the smile around her straw as I winked at her.

"So, how long have you two been married?"

It was Santana's turn to choke this time. I patted her back as she tried to ease her coughing fit and wipe away the dribble of frappe that was running down her chin.

"We're not married," I said, chuckling lightly at her discomfort as I handed her a napkin.

"Oh, shit. I'm so sorry," Raven scrambled. "I just figured since you're both here together, and the way you are with each other. I thought this was like a honeymoon thing for you two. I'm just putting both my feet in my mouth today, aren't I? Am I making an ass of myself again by assuming you're _together_ together?"

"No, you got that one right," Santana said when she was able to talk again. "We're _together_ together." She looked over as I intertwined our hands under the table and smiled when I wiped the last of the coffee from the corner of her mouth, lingering a little longer than I should.

"Okay, 'cause I was about to say. Friends don't look at each other the way you two do. And I would've had a hell of a lot more questions if you said you were related." We laughed as the awkwardness dissipated. "Now if I can try that again," Raven said. "How long have you two been together?"

I narrowed my eyes and tapped a finger on Santana's thigh as I tried to do the math in my head.

"I mean, technically, we've been official about a month now. Right, San?" I looked to her for confirmation.

"That's right, babe," she smiled softly at me. Noticing the barely-concealed bewildered expression on Raven's face, Santana rolled her eyes and explained further. "We didn't decide to fly across the country for our third date if that's what you're thinking. Brittany and I have been best friends since sophomore year of high school. We actually dated over a year before we broke up. We got back together a month ago."

Raven nodded slowly, the wheels turning in her head as she pieced the timeline of our relationship together.

"Even before we actually started dating for real, we were secretly hooking up non-stop for, like, ever." I turned my focus to Santana as her thumb stroked the back of my hand. "Honestly, it feels like we've been dating since we first met."

A warmth spread across my chest as those beautiful, brown eyes looked at me with all the love in the world. I grinned as she leaned over and planted a quick kiss on my cheek.

"You make a really cute couple," Raven said earnestly as she sipped the last of her drink. "Tell me more. How'd you meet?"

We spent the rest of our time talking, giving Raven a rundown of our lives, how we ended up on a romantic getaway in Lesbos, and learning more about her. Turns out, she was born with the white streak in her hair, and she wasn't just aging in reverse like Benjamin Button. It also bummed me out to learn she couldn't see the future like the Raven on Disney. But, she was really fun to be around and even got Santana to crack a hint of a smile once or twice.

"Shit," Raven said under her breath when she caught sight of the glinting watch on her wrist. "I've got to get going soon. I wanted to stop by the library on campus before it closes."

"What is this _study_ you're doing all this research for, exactly?" Santana inquired.

"It's a comparative study on eurocentric literature from the female perspective in previous eras compared to modern day."

"So…"

"Basically, comparing how and what women wrote about back then versus now and finding reasons for the differences," Raven explained.

"Do you only go to the library for your study?" I asked, curiously as we gathered our stuff to leave.

"Libraries, museums, historical landmarks. Basically, I've been touring this island and gathering info as I go."

"You don't have classes?"

"No, but I do have an advisor, Dr. Mikos, from the university here that I actually live with. She checks in with me to make sure I'm making some kind of progress and not just spending UCLA's funding on a personal vacay." She let out a chuckle as we stood to leave. "Hey, if you aren't doing anything the rest of the day, you should come with me to the library. I know it's not the most exciting way to spend the rest of your day, but I can give you a tour of the school and the city after."

I looked over to Santana who shrugged her shoulders in indifference.

"Sure, we'd love to."

"Cool," Raven chirped. "We can walk to my place. It isn't far from here. I'll see if we can borrow the car."

#

It only took a few minutes of walking in the summer heat before we got to the luxurious stone-encrusted house sitting comfortably atop a hill.

Santana let out a low whistle, pushing her sunglasses to the top of her head to peer closer at the estate. "Fancy digs you got here," Santana commented.

"I'm just a guest. There are usually only two or three students that come here a semester for my program, so my advisor lets us stay with her and her husband. She loves international students, so she doesn't mind hosting us."

Raven held the front door open, as she welcomed us into her home.

" _Yassou_ ," She called into the house. "Anybody home?"

"In here!"

We followed Raven into the kitchen where the voice had called out to her. Around a laptop at the island of the kitchen sat a petite lady with vibrant auburn hair, brown eyes framed by her glasses.

"Raven, who are your friends?" The lady asked with a thick Greek accent and a polite smile. She was small and short but had this air of poise and authority around her that made her seem taller than she was.

"This is Santana and Brittany. They're the American girls I told you about. The ones I met by the pier. Ladies, this is Dr. Mikos."

"Ah, yes." Dr. Mikos said, extending her small hand to shake ours. "Nice to meet you, girls."

"You too, Dr. Mikos," Santana said. "Your house is beautiful. Thanks for having us."

"Thank you. Please, make yourselves at home. I'd love to stay and talk, but I do have a class to get ready for," she said as she started packing up.

"Oh, what is it that you teach?" I asked.

"Sociology mainly. My husband, Basil, is a professor of mathematics at the university, too. He's teaching a class right now."

"We'll let you get going Dr. Mikos," Raven said. "I just wanted to check if I could use the car. I was gonna give the girls a tour of the school and maybe more of the city."

"I believe Tony is out with the car. He should be back soon. Just remember the rules when you're driving." She arched a perfectly groomed eyebrow at Raven.

"No drinking. No dirty shoes. No NASCAR tricks. Got it."

"Guess we're sitting out that drag race in the swamplands, then. Damn," Santana said blankly.

Dr. Mikos' mouth upturned in amusement. "No swamplands in my car. Have you been around the city much, girls?"

"We've walked around the city some, but we've usually been on the beach or in our hotel room." I said.

"That's no good. You have to see the island more. You girls are young. Get out of the hotel."

I nodded and smiled thinking of what our hotel time usual entailed as Santana's head fell to hide the blush creeping up her face.

"It was nice to meet you. Don't be strangers. You're welcome here any time." She left with a small wave to go upstairs.

"She seems fun," Santana said.

Raven chuckled. "Dr. Mikos can be a hard ass sometimes, but she means well. And she keeps me focused on this study, so I really can't complain."

Our heads turned when we heard the front door close and looked to see a guy emerge from around the corner. He looked about our age if not a little older. He was tall and lean with dark hair in thick waves. By most standards, he was pretty good-looking.

"Oh, Raven," he said in surprise as he took his headphones out. "I didn't think you'd be home so soon."

"Surprise, surprise," Raven said with a tight-lipped smile before gesturing to us. "This is Santana and Brittany. Guys, remember that American guy I told you I barely see? Well, this is Tony. He's another student in my program."

"Is UCLA a school for fucking models?" Santana whispered under her breath low enough for only my ears as Tony focused his emerald green eyes on us.

"Brittany. Santana." His voice went lower as he extended a tattooed arm to me then Santana, shooting a perfect, charming smile at us.

Santana's eyes narrowed as she pushed him away firmly by the shoulder when his eyes gave me a once over.

"Okay, Casanova," she said in that deceivingly calm voice of hers, "keep your eyes off my girlfriend if you want them to stay inside your head."

"Oh, girlfriend, huh?" Tony asked, surprised, but he kept an expectant smirk on his face like a lot of guys did when I'd mention my bisexuality to them. Chills ran down my spine as I could feel the pornographic montage of him in between Santana and I run through his mind as he surveyed the both of us. Suddenly, his smile felt a lot less charming.

"Stop being a fucking creep, Tony," Raven, thankfully, interrupted with a clenched jaw. A second later, and there might've been a handprint on his face. Whether that hand would have been mine or Santana's, or both, was uncertain. "Do you have the car keys?"

"Just trying to be friendly," Tony said with a grin, reaching in his pocket and tossing a set of keys to Raven. "Hopefully, I'll see you ladies again," Tony bid us goodbye.

He disappeared around the corner as we left but not before throwing one last lewd wink which Santana audibly gagged at.

#

"How's everybody going to fit in that one loft? I can imagine Rachel's ranting already. Blaine's one thing, but Sam, too? Rachel's gonna blow a lid at the first sign of someone's stray boxers. You know, I feel like Blaine's moving in with Kurt a little too soon. I mean, he's going straight from high school to his boyfriend's apartment. Not to mention those few months when they broke up. That's a lot of pressure. Who just up and moves in like that?"

Tina's rambling made for decent background noise while I sat and put my makeup on. She didn't need me to respond much. Every time I video-chatted with Tina, she talked fast like she needed to get all the gossip out before she exploded. I mostly zoned in and out. It was just nice to hear my friend's familiar voice and to get the scoop on what everyone else was up to.

"I'm moving in with Santana in New York," I piped up, brushing in my foundation.

"Yeah, but you guys are different." Tina said. She was flitting around her room as we talked, packing a bag for a visit to look at the dorms at Brown with her parents. "You two have always been joined at the hip. It used to be borderline creepy, but it works for you two. Does that mean you're both gonna be in the loft too?"

"Hm, I'm not sure," my shoulders shrugged. "Possibly. We haven't talked about it yet."

"Where is Santana, anyway?"

"Went out for a run on the beach. She should be back soon. Which color looks better with this top?" I asked, holding up two lipsticks to my laptop camera.

"Hmm, the lighter red, definitely. Where are you going all dressed up?"

"This girl we met is taking me and Santana out to some club."

"Oh, really?" Tina said as her eyebrows raised. "I always knew you two were into threesomes. Blaine owes me twenty bucks."

"It's not like that," I refuted. "She's been showing us around the island while she does research for this study she's writing. It's like a psychotic relationship. We get a fun tour guide, she gets people to bounce her research ideas off of."

"I think that's a symbiotic relationship, Britt."

"Oh."

The click of the door opening caught my attention as Santana came in, and I smiled as soon as I saw her.

"Hi, Chang," she said to the laptop screen. "Hi, baby. You look beautiful." She kissed the top of my head as she passed. "I know, I'm super late. I'll start getting ready."

"Hey, Santana," Tina called from the laptop. "Haven't heard from you since the party."

Santana started talking to Tina while she was out of view of the laptop's camera. I'm not sure what they were talking about because I really wasn't paying attention. Makeup totally forgotten, my eyes were completely hooked on Santana.

She took her earbuds out before freeing her hair from her ponytail and shaking it out. Her chest was still heaving slightly from her run, and beads of sweat dotted her skin making her shine. She was asking Tina something about her visit to Brown when she lifted her sweaty shirt over her head, leaving her in just a sports bra. Her legs seemed to go on forever in those tight shorts that hugged her ass like a second skin. It was insane how effortlessly sexy she was. I was so lucky.

Santana picked up her towel to pass behind me on her way to the bathroom, but I couldn't let her go just yet. Grabbing her by the waist, I pulled her into my lap, planting a firm kiss on her lips.

"What was that for?" Santana asked, eyes fluttering as she pulled away.

I put my lips to her ear, letting my tongue tickle her earlobe. "I want to make you to sweat all over again."

Her eyebrow quirked when I pulled back, and her mouth upturned in a smirk as she took her bottom lip between her teeth.

I captured her lips again, feeling her mouth mold instantly against mine as I lost my fingers in her hair.

"Ugh, can you at least wait until I get off the call?" Tina whined.

"Bye, Tina." I mumbled against Santana's lips.

"Wait, wha-" I waved blindly at the screen before closing the laptop shut and pulling Santana firmly against me.

"Mmmm. Your lipstick's gonna smudge," she said as I deepened the kiss and let her tongue slide over mine.

"I'll reapply." My fingers running over the slippery plane of her abs.

"I have to start getting ready," she panted. "Mmm, you smell so good."

"I'll be quick."

I helped shift her until she was straddling me and pulled her sports bra over her head. She kissed me senseless as she arched into me, her hands snaking around my neck and my thumbs running over her breasts. She rocked into me as my thumb and forefinger teased at her erect nipple. My other hand dipped between us, feeling her heat radiate as I cupped her core.

"Baby, please stop teasing me," she breathed. "I want you so bad right now."

"Yeah? How bad do you want me?" I stroked a finger over her clit, the thin spandex of her shorts the only thing between us.

"Let me show you how much." Her hooded eyes were filled with desire, and her full lips parted.

She put her hand over mine that was between her legs and guided it into the waistband of her shorts, coating both of our fingers in the wetness that had pooled between her folds.

"You're so wet, Santana." I panted.

"Only for you, B. Always for you," she said before our lips met in a passionate kiss. Our tongues wrestled for dominance as I let two fingers enter her.

"Fuck," she moaned, throwing her head back and letting me latch onto her neck and taste the saltiness of her skin. Her hand retracted to grip my shoulders for leverage as she rocked harder into me, meeting my fingers as they pushed deeper inside her.

My hand drifted down her body, feeling the way the muscles in her abs contracted every time she rocked into me.

The sexy moans of my name escaping her lips egged me on, making my drive into her faster. My arm wrapped around her back, holding her close as her hips met my fingers stroke for stroke. She moaned loudly as my fingers curled to reach that sweet spot deep inside her. The chair creaked against the floor, moving us inch by inch as Santana moved wildly above me.

"So… fucking… close…" she barely got out.

 _Knock knock knock_

Both of our eyes went wide, and our movements stopped instantly as we heard another rap of knocking at the door.

"Shit, B. That must be Raven." Santana scrambled to get off me.

"She's early," I said breathlessly, watching her pick her towel up off the floor. She was about to sprint into the bathroom when she looked at the pout on my face and kissed me quickly but still with all of the heat of our interrupted session.

"We finish this later," she promised before disappearing into the bathroom.

I ran a hand through my hair and wiped at the lipstick smudge before gathering myself and opening the door.

#

Senso was this beautiful bar/club on the shorefront that looked like an elegant seaside lounge on the outside. All the architecture in Lesbos was so regal that just sitting at this bar made me feel like a Greek goddess.

We'd found our spot at a cozy area of the longue, Santana and I cuddled on one couch and Raven on the love seat next to us, talking and picking at a tray of meat and cheese Raven had ordered for us. The dull roar of the club Senso transformed into inside made for easy background music while we talked.

"I'm so glad I met you both," Raven said. "This place is dope, but it's a far better experience being with my fellow women."

"Oh, you've been here before?" I asked, grimacing at a greenish piece of cheese I stole from Santana's hand.

"Yeah. Once." Raven's smile faltered before she quickly recovered as a waitress came by with a tray of shots.

"What are we drinking, and why does it look like milk?" Santana asked as she peered at the tray.

"It's not milk, Santana," Raven said, passing us each a shot glass. "It's ouzo. It's, like, the national drink of Lesbos. I'd advise you sip it and not to gulp it down 'cause it's strong as shit."

I lifted a glass, and the girls followed suit. "To new friends..." I smiled at Raven. "…new beginnings..." I smiled at Santana who winked back. "…and new experiences." We clinked glasses laughter bubbling in the air.

"To new shit!" Raven exclaimed before sipping her drinking.

Santana winced as she took a generous gulp. "Whoa! That is strong."

"It's not that bad," I said after downing the drink in one go. I'd had stronger drinks, but it sure did make me feel warm inside.

By the time we'd all finished the ouzo, our waitress came back immediately with another tray of drinks.

"We didn't order these," Santana interrupted, looking at Raven and I for confirmation as the waitress set them down.

"These are courtesy of the gentleman at the bar." The waitress pointed at a cute, curly-haired blonde guy who lifted his drink at us in salutation before she left.

"Well, it would be rude of us if we let these go to waste." Santana lifted one of the glasses back to him in thanks before handing one to me.

Raven laughed but refused the glass Santana offered her. "Another drink, and I won't qualify to be the designated driver anymore."

It wasn't long before the guy who bought us drinks came over. He opened his mouth to speak, but Santana put her hand up leaning further into my side. "Thanks for the drinks, guy, but let's leave it at that."

He composed himself and smiled politely. "You ladies are all very beautiful, and I'm glad you like the drinks," he said with a smooth British accent. "But I was hoping to talk to this lovely young woman over here." He gestured to Raven who arched an eyebrow at him. "Marco," he introduced, extending his hand to her.

"Raven," she said, her voice dropping sultrily as she took his hand as he sat next to her.

"Uh, Britt. How about you and I go dance inside?" Santana offered her hand to me as she stood.

We turned to walk in the club but not before getting the thumbs up from Raven. When she gave the sign that she was good being alone with Marco, we disappeared inside.

#

The inside of Senso transformed into a club like none other. Lights flashed through all the colors of the rainbow. Music pumped so loud I couldn't feel my ears anymore. Bass reverberated throughout my body. I loved it.

The music flowed through me, energizing every cell in my body and letting my body move at will. This is what I had missed about dancing. This feeling of being utterly immersed in the music and getting lost in the rhythm, letting my body move with the lyrics. It was like everything else around me disappeared.

School had never been my thing. Talking wasn't one of my strong points either. Most times, people looked at me funny when I spoke. But dancing was something I could do, and actually had done, in my sleep. Not because it was easy but because I loved it so much. It didn't matter if it was ballet, hip-hop, interpretive, or just jumping around to an EDM beat. Dancing made me feel magical. And right now, under colorful strobe lights in a sea of random strangers and my super-hot girlfriend dancing against me, nothing felt more magical.

I wrapped my arms around her neck as we danced, smiling goofily as she sang along to the music playing. She looked so good in her dress. Santana in sweats and no makeup turned me on prettily easily. Santana dolled up in a short dress that seemed to melt into her body made me want to take her right there on the dancefloor.

As if she could tell what I was thinking, her slender finger lifted my chin, tearing my gaze away from the tops of her breasts spilling out of her dress. A familiar glint sparkled in her hooded eyes and her parted lips upturned in a smirk. Lips that were painted dark red like a vintage wine. Before I knew it, I was leaning down to taste them.

Santana was, hands down, the best kisser I ever had. Her lips were so full and plump, and when they moved against mine, everything around me seemed to disappear. Just like when I was dancing.

Her grip around my waist tightened as the kiss deepened and her tongue met mine. My hand locked against the back of her neck as I kissed her hungrily. Maybe it was the adrenaline of the music or the shot of ouzo, but I needed her. I needed her now. And by the heated look on her face when I pulled away, she needed me too.

"Bathroom," she mouthed, jerking her head in that direction.

I nodded quickly, tightening my hold on her hand as she led me towards the ladies' room. We were almost there when a tall, lean body stepped out in front of us, blocking our path.

"Ladies! May I say, that was hot as fuck." Tony appeared, words slurring enough to let me know the drink in his hand definitely wasn't his first, second, or third. His green eyes seemed swamp-like as he looked us over lasciviously and licked his lips.

"Ugh, get out of our way." Santana tried to push past him, but, instead, Tony's arms found their way around both of our shoulders, steering us back toward the dancefloor.

"Where you goin'? Party's just gettin' started." With his head in between ours, we both got a whiff of the strong alcohol on his breath. Lucky me, some of his brown liquor spilt down my arm as he wobbled. "How about the three of us get out of here and finish what you two started on the dancefloor?"

From our angle, I could see where Tony's free hand moved from Santana's shoulders to her ass. Then several things happened at once. Santana jerked out of his grasp yelling loud enough for the people around us to hear "Get your fucking hands off me, _pendejo_!" With a dig of her stiletto heel, she stabbed his foot. Hard.

"Ow! Fucking bitch," he growled as he keeled over. He grabbed Santana's arm, and I instantly saw red.

Ripping his hand away from my girlfriend, I grabbed his drink, and threw it in his face. For good measure, I left an overdue slap across his goddamn face, watching as he stumbled on his ass before Santana hauled me away.

I clasped Santana's hand as she drove us through the crowd of curious faces, unsure of where we were going but knowing I needed to get the hell out of there. My face was still hot with anger by the time we finally made it outside to the lounge.

Spotting Raven at the other end of the bar Santana beelined for her, but she was too busy making out with Marco to notice us and jumped when she placed a hand on her shoulder.

"Raven, we gotta go," Santana said.

She wiped the corner of her mouth as she looked between us and became concerned. "What's wrong?"

"Your roommate can't keep his hands to his fucking self is what's wrong," Santana snapped. "You can stay with your boy toy if you want, but Brittany and I are leaving before we catch a fucking case and end up in Lesbian jail."

"Tony?" Raven asked in disbelief as she looked to us for confirmation before cursing under her breath. She looked between Marco and us, turning to talk to him as I turned my full attention to Santana and cupped her face with hands.

"You okay?" I asked, searching her face.

Her jaw was clenched, her eyes were hard and the vein in her forehead was more pronounced, but she closed her eyes for a second and nodded tightly.

"Yeah, I'm good. Unfortunately, It's not the first time some dude in a club got too handsy with me. Are you alright, B?" she asked, stroking my upper arm.

"I want to go back inside and kick that guy's ass if I'm being honest. He shouldn't have grabbed you like that."

"I think Lima Heights is rubbing off on you," she said, a small smile crossing her face. "That was really hot what you did to that guy. I like this new badass Brittany. She's sexy." I shrugged my shoulders, my anger easing a little when she kissed my jawline. "What happened to 'stop the violence'?" she teased.

"No violence toward our friends and people we care about. All the violence toward assholes who touch my girlfriend. Nobody puts their hands on you and gets away with it."

"I love you." She smiled and left a chaste kiss on my lips, interlocking our fingers as she rubbed the back of my hand with her thumb.

"Come on," Raven said, approaching us with Marco in tow. "I'll take you home."

Santana led the way as we waded through the crowd to the bar's exit. I looked over my shoulder as someone bumped into me, feeling a wave of smug satisfaction as I caught a glimpse of a very soggy Tony with a very red cheek.

* * *

 **A/N:**

 **Drop a comment, tell me what you think :)**

* * *

 **Spanish translations**

 _Dios –_ God

 _Pendejo –_ Asshole

 **Greek translations**

 _Yassou –_ Hello

 _Frappe me pagoto_ – Greek frappe


	10. Chapter 10

_**Lesbos, July 2013**_

 _ **Santana POV**_

As we grow, the things we like tend to change. Things that once made us happy may make us sick now, or vice-versa. My preferences to many things were like that. What was once my favorite mint chocolate-chip ice cream from the parlor up the street from McKinley now tasted like cold disappointment. Likewise, where the shrill sound of Kurt's voice used to elicit a knee-jerk response to toss a cherry-lime Slushee in his face, now felt comforting like a warm, though slightly unwelcome, hug.

I'd never felt that with Brittany. I'd loved her as long as I I'd known her. Even before I knew it myself, when I was denying it to both of us and everyone else, I had loved her. That hadn't changed in the slightest.

I lay in bed, looking at her perfect, serene face as she slept. Her chest ebbed and flowed as she breathed, her arm draped lazily across my waist. The way I felt about a lot of things may have changed, but my feelings for Brittany never have. Wait, that's not totally true. They're definitely stronger now than they ever have been. Maybe, I was just more aware of them now. What's for sure is that I loved Brittany more than anything, and I'd do anything I could to make her happy.

Her eyes opened briefly as sleepy blue eyes peeked out at me before they closed again.

"You're staring." Her lips curled up in a smile. She softly blew her hair out of her face only for it to fall right back into place. I giggled and pushed her hair behind her ear, resting my hand on her warm cheek.

"Good morning," I whispered.

Her eyes opened slowly as they locked on mine. There was something so hypnotic about Brittany's eyes. Like, I wanted to spill all the secrets of the world to her when she looked at me. They were just so clear and honest and innocent. I could look in them forever.

"Good morning, San," she said, voice raspy with sleep. "How long have you been awake?"

"Not long. I just like watching you sleep."

"Creep," she teased, hitting my face with a stray pillow.

"You love it." I laughed and hit her back, throwing the pillow away from the bed before she could retaliate. Her eyes crinkled as she giggled.

"I do," she said softly, leaning over and pressing her lips to mine. She pulled back, and I couldn't help but gaze at her again as I ran my fingers through her hair.

"Your eyes are really beautiful," I said. "I think, if I really had to choose, they might be my favorite part of your body."

"That's saying a lot, considering you spend a lot of time on… _other_ parts of my body."

My eyes took a moment to leisurely scan her bare body. Our clothes were still off from our activities the night before. My hands couldn't resist following the trail my eyes made along her perfect skin. By the time my eyes got back up to her face, I could feel the tension build between my legs.

"Trust me, the competition is stiff. But the way you look at me, I could look in your eyes all day and just get lost."

"You wanna know my favorite part of your body?" she asked after a beat.

I nodded as her hand smoothed across my back until it rested on my backside.

"Your butt." I giggled as she squeezed softly and rubbed its curve.

"Seriously, babe?" I laughed.

"Yeah, it's so round and perfect and jiggly like jell-o. Especially when you're on top off me." Her eyes darkened as she got that familiar look in her eye. "Junior year, you wore these really tight pair of jeans with a heart on the back pocket that fit you, like, perfectly. I stared at that heart a whole lot."

"Perv," I teased.

"As much as I do love your butt, it's tied for number one, though. Right up there with your smile." Her eyes darted between my eyes and my mouth. "You have the most beautiful smile I've ever seen, San. It's like the switch that lights you up from the inside." Her mouth opened and closed like she wanted to say something else, so I stayed quiet until she did. "I never told you this. Some of the silly things I used to say back in high school, I said on purpose. I still do sometimes, but back then, especially before we joined Glee, you looked so mad all the time. So, I'd say something just to make you laugh so I could see that smile again."

It was true. My early high school days were peak Bitch days. I had to strike fear and dominance as a badass too-good-for-you cheerleader to stay at the top of the social food chain. But on the rare occasion a genuine smile did break through, it usually had something to do with my blonde best friend. God, did I love her.

"There it is," she smiled. Her thumb stroked my dimple as I took her in, eyes twinkling as she looked back at me. "I love you, San. There isn't enough space in the universe for my arms to stretch for me describe how much I love you."

"I love you, too, Britt," I breathed. "You make me so happy."

Our lips met in a sensual kiss, words of love flowing through our touch. Brittany's hands explored my body, pulling me so close to her there wasn't any space left between us. My hands roamed the expanse of Brittany's soft skin as she melted beneath me.

The moan she let into my mouth when our tongues swirled together shot vibrations through me straight to between my legs. I cupped her breast and ran a thumb over her nipple, stroking softly until it hardened to a peak.

"Mmm, that feels so good," Brittany gasped.

I trailed wet kisses down her jaw, earning another moan from her when I sucked on her neck. I rolled us over until I hovered above her, lodging a thigh between her legs. Brittany's hands moved across my back as she pulled me further into her. The heat rose between us as I grinded into her feeling the warmth of her core rub against my thigh.

"Can I show you how happy you make me, baby?" I breathed in her ear, nipping softly at her earlobe.

She nodded silently, head rolling back and giving me more access to return to her neck. I ran a hand down her body and over her sex, feeling the moisture coat my palm, but not yet entering her.

"I didn't quite catch that, B." I teased, moving to swirl a tongue over her erect nipple. My fingers continued to tweak as my mouth paid attention to the other one.

"Yes… yes… Santana, please," she begged breathlessly.

With a smirk, I looked up to watch her face change as two fingers eased themselves inside her moist, soft center. A groan escaped her, and she arched into me.

We kissed hungrily when my lips fell on hers. Teeth clashing, tongues warring as my fingers delved in and out working up my girlfriend. My fingers reached deeper and harder with each stroke, curving inside her every time. My thumb rubbed circles against Brittany's clit, and I latched onto her neck again when her words turned incoherent.

Her nails dug into me, and I groaned as it spurred me on. "Fuck, Britt. You are so sexy, baby." Her hips met me thrust for thrust as I kissed and licked down her body. I glanced at her face as I worked her with my fingers before sinking down to replace my thumb with mouth.

My lips latched around her clit, tongue swirling as the sounds of Brittany's panting made my aching fingers work harder. I wrapped my free arm around her thigh, pressing on her middle to keep her still against her writhing.

I took my fingers out of her, letting my mouth work overtime as I pressed my face as far into her as possible. My tongue lapped at every inch of her I could, paying special attention to her sensitive nub. All my senses were overwhelmed with Brittany. Her smell, her moans, her skin, her taste. It was too much and not enough at the same time.

"Close… so close… uhh… Santana" I heard Brittany say as she dug her fingers into my hair.

My eyes glanced up to see Brittany's body squirm in pleasure, and a stroke of inspiration hit me. I picked my head up from between Brittany's thighs, much to her dismay. She whined in disapproval as a confused look crossed her flustered face.

Instead of explaining, I used both hands to hold her thighs apart. Turning my body around, I crossed my thigh over hers and settled between her, straddling her from behind. I looked back to see confusion had turned to delight on Brittany's face and grinned in smug satisfaction when her hands rested on the ass she loved so much.

I lowered myself until our cores touched, feeling the immense wetness between us intermingle. Brittany groaned along with me as I grinded into her. A wave of pleasure crashed into me every time I stroked against her.

"Uhhh… god, you feel so good, San," Brittany groaned. She gripped my ass, grinding me harder and harder into her. Feeling her fingers dig into my flesh like that really turned me the fuck on. I gripped both hands on her leg for leverage as I found the spot that made us both cry out in pleasure.

A few more times hitting that spot, and I could feel Brittany's body stiffen as she cried out my name. Her hold tightened on my body as she reached her peak, but I didn't let up. I could feel her juices run down my thigh, and it only made me go faster against her.

As she came down, Brittany's hold on me never eased. She guided me against her, rubbing a hand down my back, back to my ass as she whispered dirty things to me.

"Come for me, Santana," she panted. "Show me how good I make you feel."

I bit my lip, failing to hold back a moan. Wave after wave of pleasure washed over me until I reached my peak. Soon, my walls clenched, and a groan of ecstasy filled the room. My movements slowed down as I tried to control my speeding heart rate and leaned over to rest on Brittany's leg.

"Fuck…" I panted as Brittany's hands rubbed my skin soothingly.

I hopped off Brittany's thigh and turned back around only to settle between her legs and catch a sight of her core, glistening with the mix of our juices. Never one to deny myself when it came to Brittany, I leaned forward, flattening my tongue against her to taste the both of us together.

"Mmm, San, don't do that. You're… uhhh, working me up again."

I perked my head up and arched an eyebrow at her. "Is that a bad thing?" I smirked. Before she could answer, I descended and went back to licking our mixture off her. As I did, I heard her moan and glanced up to see her looking at me as I went down on her.

I slipped two fingers inside her as my mouth latched onto her nub. We kept our eyes locked as Brittany's breathing sped up, her face got flushed, and she moved against me. It wasn't long before she clenched against my fingers, her face contorting as she came, but her eyes never left mine. It was so incredibly hot.

My mouth continued until every lick of her slit as I cleaned her juices made her spasm.

Slowly, I kissed me way back up her spent body, licking Brittany off each soaked finger. "Mmm, we taste amazing, babe."

When I got to her head, Brittany immediately captured my lips in a heated kiss. I moaned as she tasted herself on my tongue, her hands gripping the sides of my face as she slowly ravaged my mouth with her own.

"That was incredible," she said breathlessly against my lips as I settled beside her. "I must make you really damn happy," she teased.

I grinned as I pulled back and looked in her eyes.

"The happiest."

#

I groaned as the annoyingly cheerful ring of a Skype call sang from my laptop. I was about to ask Brittany to get it when my hand ran over the cold empty side of the bed, and I remembered she wasn't there.

Hauling myself out of bed, I sat around the table and answered whoever it was that woke me up.

"Hola, _mija_ ," my mom chirped on the screen.

"Hi, _mamí_ ," I yawned as I rubbed at my eyes.

"Are you just waking up?" she asked. "I thought it was afternoon over there."

"I am, and it is. I was taking a nap. What can I say? I'm taking advantage of my vacation."

She chuckled. "How are you enjoying your trip?"

"It's been great," I smiled. "I didn't realize how much I needed this break from New York."

"I'm glad you're getting a chance to relax and reconnect with Brittany, but don't forget real life is waiting for you. It doesn't stop because you're on an island. When are you planning to go back?"

"We're supposed to leave Lesbos in a few months and spend some weeks in Hawaii, then head back to New York. But… I don't know."

"What do you mean, Tana?"

I sighed, "Short story is I may not have enough in the bank to swing the next leg of the trip in Hawaii, but I promised Britt I'd take her."

"Well, mama, part of growing up means making sacrifices and tough decisions. I'm not going to tell you what to do, _pero_ you've got a while to think about it. Your dad and I are here for you if you need us."

I rubbed my face in exhaustion and frustration. Truth was, I'd been thinking a lot about what would happen when we went back to New York, and it was stressing me the fuck out. Sure, living on that raggedy couch in the loft and surviving on ramen and Rachel's disgusting vegan cereal was fine when I just had to look out for myself. But I'd have Brittany now.

We didn't have a place to live. Both of us couldn't possibly sleep on that couch forever. And, I definitely didn't make enough money at the diner to afford a place of our own. Sure, I could guilt Kurt and Rachel into letting us stay in the loft instead of on the street for a while, but how long could all of us plus Blaine and _Sam_ , apparently, live in that tiny-ass space without one of us getting murdered.

I appreciated that my mom was offering a safety net even after she made it clear that she and my dad were not financing Britt and my trip around the world in the first place. But I couldn't take their money anymore. With the rest of the starter money mom had given me for graduation, I'd been able to start a pretty comfortable life in New York and make moves towards making it big. I refused to be the failure who had to run back to mommy and daddy when shit got tough.

"Thanks, _mamí_. Where is dad anyway?"

"The hospital. _Siempre en el hospital_ ," she said with a heavy sigh.

My head cocked at her bitter tone. "Something wrong?"

"Oh, no. _Nada, nada,_ " she dismissed. "Anyway, how's Brittany doing? Is she still sleeping, too?"

My eyes narrowed, but I let it go. Sounded like Dad wasn't at home more like he promised he would be. I would say I was disappointed, but that would imply I was surprised.

"No, she's at a museum with a friend of ours."

"You didn't go with her?"

"No, museums bore me. Britt would enjoy it more without me."

We'd been helping Raven a lot the past month with her study. By 'we,' I mostly meant Brittany. She loved visiting all the museums and libraries that Raven invited us to while I was usually daydreaming about the air-conditioned luxury hotel suite that I could have been taking advantage of. Brittany was also the one to participate and have discussions about whatever art history shit Raven was talking about. I was more interested in taking pictures with her wherever we went and sneaking off somewhere for quick time lovin'. Eventually, I decided to only go on the outings that interested me and let Britt enjoy herself without me bringing down the mood.

"That's mature of you, _mija_. I remember a time you insisted on going any and everywhere with Brittany. Even the DMV."

I chuckled along with her. Little did she know I was taking every opportunity I could at the time to get even a few seconds alone with Brittany. It'd be worth it to sneak in just one kiss.

"Okay, baby. I'll let you go. Give Brittany my love. _Te amo._ "

" _Te amo, mamí_."

#

"Okay, there's ginger ale on the counter to help settle your belly, crackers for when you're hungry, Gatorade on the bedside table to keep your energy up, a garbage can next to the bed in case you get sick again, and Vicks to rub on your chest 'cause that cures everything," I rattled off, stroking Brittany's face in concern as she lay on the bed. Her eyes were closed, but her skin felt cool and smooth like normal.

Usually, I'd wake up to kisses on my skin, hands exploring my body, or soft breathing in my ear, but what jolted me out of sleep yesterday was the harsh sound of Brittany hurling in the bathroom. Immediately, I'd gone to check on her, but there wasn't much I could do besides hold her hair up, rub her back, and keep her company as we sat on the bathroom floor, my usually upbeat girlfriend clinging sullenly to the toilet. We'd spent most of the day on the couch. Brittany had laid on my lap going between napping, watching TV, and throwing up a few more times.

"Baby, I don't want to leave you like this," I said, sitting next to her on the edge of the bed as I examined her face. "Raven will be just fine without my help."

"No, I promised I'd help her at the library today, so you have to be there for me. You know it's bad luck to break a promise. Besides, I'm okay. I haven't thrown up since yesterday, and I feel much better. It was probably just something I ate."

"I mean, I told you a lobster burrito from a place that also sold batteries was a bad idea."

"Well, I learned my lesson, but I think the worst is over. I'm pretty sure I can go help Raven."

"Oh, no, you're not." I pushed her back down when she moved to get up. "You're going to stay in this bed and get some rest until I get back. No funny business."

Granted, she did seem a lot better today. She didn't have a fever, her face was getting its color back, and she seemed much brighter than she did on the bathroom floor. Still, I didn't want to risk her going out until she was completely in the clear.

"Business is boring if it isn't funny," Brittany whined with an adorable pout.

"There's T.V. and movies on my laptop. I'll be back in two hours, max. Promise me you'll get some rest." I extended my pinky out, and she hugged it with hers with a sigh.

"Promise."

I leaned in to kiss her, but she turned her head at the last minute to dodge my lips.

"San, I haven't brushed my teeth yet. I still have puke mouth. You don't want to kiss me right now."

My eyebrows furrowed, but I cupped her face with my hands and urged her mouth back to mine, giving her the kiss I meant to before.

"I always want to kiss you," I said when we broke apart, delighted when Brittany smiled back at me. "I'm leaving the cell phone with you, so call Raven if you need me, okay?"

"Okay. I love you."

"I love you, too," I said, giving her a departing kiss on her forehead.

#

It wasn't long before I got to Raven's place. Hesitantly, I knocked on the door. Thankfully, it was Dr. Mikos who opened.

"Santana," she greeted. "You must be here for Raven. Come inside." I thanked her as she led me to the kitchen where a large man in a very bright red blazer was seated around the island eating a bowl of fruit. "This is my husband, Basil. Husband, this is Santana. She's Raven's friend. I'll go get Raven for you."

As Dr. Mikos disappeared upstairs, Basil quickly got up to greet me.

"It's nice to meet you," I smiled, extending a hand. "Should I call you 'Dr. Mikos' too? That could get confusing."

He laughed heartily like I expected Santa Claus would laugh. My hand disappeared as he took it in both of his very large ones. Besides his beard being shorter and his hair being more silver fox than polar bear, he could kinda pass for a younger St. Nick.

"'Basil' is fine," he smiled big and warmly, accent thick like Dr. Mikos'. "'Doctor' sounds too… how do you say… stuffy. Please have a seat."

I sat across from him as he poured me a glass of water, rejecting the bowl of fruit when he offered some to me. Instead, I surveyed the books that were open between us. The weird graphs and curves were all too familiar.

"Is it calculus that you teach?" I asked, gesturing to the books.

"Calculus, Vector Analysis, Differential Equations," he waved his hand, munching a piece of pineapple.

"My head hurts already," I confessed.

"Basically, lots and lots of numbers," he laughed.

Dr. Mikos came back in taking a seat next to Basil where a cup of coffee waited for her. The difference in their sizes was almost comical. As Basil rubbed a hand behind his wife's neck, it looked like he could fit a palm over her face.

"Raven will be right down. I'm surprised you came to the door, Santana. I only see you and Brittany when I peer outside the window when Raven leaves."

I shifted uncomfortably.

"Yeah, I'm not exactly a fan of the other student you have living here."

Normally, we'd text Raven and let her know we were outside in order to avoid the asshole she lived with known as Tony. We hadn't seen him since that night at the club, and I sure as fuck didn't want to change that. But since Britt had the phone, I had no choice but to take a chance this time.

"Oh?" Dr. Mikos asked curiously, brown eyes peering over the rim of her coffee mug. "Why not?"

"He's a narcissistic deviant who doesn't know how to keep his hands to himself. For everybody's sake, it's best we not see each other." I sipped my water.

Dr. Mikos looked at me curiously just as Raven bounced in, afro tamed into a bun.

"Santana?" Raven asked confused. "Where's Brittany?"

"Good morning to you, too, Woodpecker," I said. "Brittany's been sick puking, so I get to play understudy."

"Oh, you should've called and told me," Raven said, grabbing a bottle of water out of the fridge. "I could've managed by myself today."

"That's what I said, but Britt probably would have snuck out on the Vespa herself if I bailed on you. She doesn't like to break her promises."

"I was sick the same way a few days ago," she said, handing me a water bottle. "Even a whiff of food made me nauseous."

"When you come back, I'll give you some medicine I gave Raven," Dr. Mikos offered. "Hopefully, that will help Brittany too."

"Thanks," I replied.

"Come on, Santana. We should get going."

" _Adio_ , girls," Basil waved as we left.

The ride to the university's library was painfully quiet. Not only was this our first time hanging out alone, it was glaringly obvious that Brittany was the driving force of conversation when we did.

We parked the car and fell in step on our way to the library as Raven pulled a small box out of her bag.

"You smoke?" Raven offered, reaching the carton of cigarettes out to me.

"No, thanks," I said, shaking my head. "I tried in high school, but Brittany said I tasted like hot garbage when we kissed, so I didn't try it again."

Raven's Colgate smile widened, and she shook her head in disbelief. "That's really cute. You two complement each other really well. Can't say that for a lot of couples our age."

"Yeah, well. We're together for a reason," I said dryly.

A deep sigh and a hand on my arm made me stop and raise my head just in time to see Raven give me a hard look. My eyebrow quirked in challenge as I waited for what she obviously wanted to say.

"Did I do or say something to piss you off?" Raven asked.

My eyes narrowed, set hard as I sized up the taller girl in front of me. "What makes you say that?"

"Little snide comments that I usually brush off, the way your eyes narrow a little whenever I talk. It's pretty fucking obvious." She took a deep drag and let the smoke float away from us.

"Don't flatter yourself. I'm like that with everybody I don't know… and some friends."

Her head shook lightly, seemingly unconvinced. "Look, for whatever reason, you decided in the first 5 minutes we met that you didn't like me, and you seem like a lady that stands firm in her decisions. Do I care what that reason is?" She shrugged "Not really. I do, however, really like your girlfriend." My jaw clenched, and she rolled her eyes at me. "Retract the claws, it's not like that. I've met more shitty people in my life than I care to count, but Brittany's not one of them. She's good people. Jury's still out on you. So how about, for Brittany's peace of mind, we try not to tear each other apart. I don't want to have to worry about being stabbed when my back is turned."

I considered her words for a moment. My third eye had told me the afternoon we had hung out on the harbor that this girl wasn't a threat to my relationship with Brittany. I mean, the way she sucked Marco's face at the club that night, it was pretty safe to say we weren't her flavor. Besides, if we were going to work, I had to really trust Brittany and not just say that I did.

For Brittany's sake, I'd give her a chance. They clicked pretty well, and I didn't want to be a reason Brittany lost a friend. And, honestly, she was a decent person to be around. I mean, anyone who could call me out on my shit got extra points in my book.

"I promise I won't shiv you or whatever. That's not my weapon of choice anyways." She chuckled softly, letting some of the tension in the air dissipate. "I'm sorry if I've been bitchy to you," I said genuinely. "Really, you've been pretty great to me and Britt since we met you, so thanks. I'll try and be better."'

She smiled warmly, shrugging like it was nothing. "Not a problem."

"Alright, come on," I said, walking again towards the building as she put her cigarette out. "Let's get this library business over with. I have a sick girlfriend to attend to."

#

"Brittany's been super helpful with this stuff," Raven said, writing down the list of books I was finding on Greek womanhood. "She's got a very… _unique_ way of thinking. She's gotten me to look at everything from angles I never would have thought of."

"Yeah, she's smart like that. Certified genius." I smiled at the mention of Brittany's eccentric thought process. With that, also brought the sadness I felt of leaving her back at the hotel, so I changed the subject. "So, what are you planning on doing with this Literature degree anyway?" I asked, lazily flipping through the pages of a collection of Edgar Allen Poe's morbid tales.

"I don't know yet."

I glanced up, intrigued by her casual tone. "What do you mean you don't know? You're just getting a degree to say you got one?"

"No, I know I'm studying the right thing. My goals aren't exactly concrete right now. Reading has always been my favorite hobby. It was an easy escape when life got rough. There's a certain power and a beauty words have that I've always revered." Her eyes looked wistfully at nothing in particular. "My parents weren't exactly thrilled when I decided to forgo their dreams of me being a doctor to become a writer instead, but it's what I love. Plus, I sucked at biology. My medical career would've been very short-lived and full of malpractice lawsuits."

I laughed. "So, what about after college?"

"I mean, I don't know what exactly I'm going to do when I graduate. Lord knows, the opportunities for Lit grads in California with little experience is slim, so I'm keeping an open mind to what's available for me. All I know is, I want to write. Enough about me. I don't know nearly enough about your glamorous life in New York."

I set down two more books to add to her pile. "There's very little glamour, for one. The rent's high, the people are mean, and everywhere smells like a hobo's butt crack."

"Sounds pretty terrible," she snickered.

"It has its moments," I shrugged. "Britt and I grew up in a very small town with very small minds. A lot of things about New York suck, but I feel like I'm somewhere I can fit in without being judged. It's like the land of misfits. Ever since I moved, I feel like I can let my hair down, you know, and just be… me. Whoever that is."

"Maybe New York will help you figure that out." Raven smiled softly before her phone chirped. She chuckled at the screen before handing it to me. "I think you have a message."

 **Brittany P:** _Hi Raven! Hope Santana's being nice. Please give her the phone. Hey San! Be nice to Raven. Love you :* – B_

 **Raven:** _I'm always nice ;) love you baby. How do you feel? – S_

"There's no guy back in L.A. waiting for you with open arms?" I asked. Now that I wasn't harboring any obvious ill feelings toward her, I was curious about this girl.

"God, no," she snorted, jotting something down in her notebook. "I work and go to school full-time. I'm lucky if I ever get a full night's sleep. You think I have time to worry about whether some dude is gonna text me back?" I laughed along with her as I found a book that seemed relevant to Lesbian poets.

 **Brittany P:** _ay-okay! No chunks blown since you left. Miss you!_

 **Raven:** _Miss you too babe. Raven says hi back. Be home soon 3_

My stomach did a flip as I sent the last message. It felt nice to know Brittany was _home_ waiting for me. I'd open the door and the love of my life would be there. Something I think I could get used to.

"What happened to your British lover from Senso?" I probed.

"Smooth transition," she chuckled.

"Well, I'm nothing if not subtle."

"Marco's a nice guy, but nothing's really gonna happen with us."

"No?" I feigned interest in a very dull looking novel. "It looked like you guys hit it off." That was an understatement. On the drive back home from the club that night, they could barely keep their hands off each other.

"We had a good time that night, and we've still been hanging out since then, but nothing's happening long-term. I'm not into long distance," she shrugged.

We fell into easy conversation after that. Me laughing at Raven's retelling of the awful relationships she had in the past. Her laughing at my in-the-closet dating life with guys.

It was the most we'd talked since we'd met and, admittedly, the most fun I'd had on the island without Brittany.

#

Instead of seeing my girlfriend lying in bed like I expected, I was met with an empty room when I opened the hotel door. The bed was made like the maid came and tidied up, and the TV was on, but there was no sign of my girlfriend.

"Britt? Baby, I'm home," I called.

I checked in the bathroom. She wasn't there. I checked the closet. She wasn't there. Under the beds, she wasn't there. I was about to get worried when I spotted movement coming from the patio outside.

I slid the glass door open to hear music playing and to find Brittany dancing in her pajamas. This was my first time seeing her dance outside the club since we left Lima. She moved effortlessly with her back to me, sun kissing her skin, the sea ebbing on the beach in the background. My lips upturned as I leaned against the doorframe and looked at her enjoying herself. What a sight she was.

She jumped when she twirled and caught me looking at her but smiled and extended her hand to me when she recovered. When I put my hand in hers, she spun me toward her until I ended up in her arms.

"Hi," I said breathlessly.

"Hi, honey," she laughed before planting a kiss on my lips.

"Aren't you supposed to be resting?" I asked, arching an eyebrow.

Her face scrunched up, feigning guilt, before she spun me around. My back pressed against her front as she swayed us to the music.

"I _did_ rest. Besides, dancing relaxes me," she said in my ear. "Doesn't that count?"

I laughed as Brittany spun me around again, leading me as we danced to the music. My feet tried to keep up, but Brittany had a way of making it easy to follow her. I could feel how in her element she was. The way she smiled and glowed as we moved together. This was what she was meant to do.

The song ended, and we fell in the bamboo loveseat to catch our breath.

"You're still such an incredible dancer, Britt. You haven't missed a beat at all."

"I'm okay," she blushed. "Raven took me to sit in on the dance majors last week. I've been trying to land some of their moves all morning."

"Britt, that's awesome," I acknowledged. "Are they any good?"

"Yeah, they're amazing. I'm okay, but they're, like, _really_ amazing. Like, you could tell they're professionals." A look flashed over her face and disappeared as quickly as it came. But I caught it.

I took her hand and interlocked our fingers. "You, my love, are the most talented dancer I've ever seen."

"Okay," she said, unconvinced.

I shifted on the couch until I was facing Brittany. I took both of her hands in mine and looked her deep in her eyes.

"There are three things I know to be absolutely true. One, Sam is in desperate need of a haircut. Two, you and I are meant to be together. And, three, you, Brittany S. Pierce, are born to be a dancer, and a damn good one at that. Don't ever second-guess yourself."

She smiled, blushing as I brought her hand to my lips.

 _Ding ding_

Brittany's phone chirped in her lap. It had been going off like that every so often since yesterday. Brief flashbacks flitted through my head of the last time her phone rang like that. It ended with us having a drunk argument outside a party. She picked it up and smiled that sweet smile I thought was reserved for the loving girlfriend sitting in front of her.

"Who's that, Britt?" I asked, hoping it sounded casual.

Instead of answering, she gave me the phone showing a picture of the two of us. It was two pictures side-by-side from a few days ago. We had spent the day on the beach and had just come out of the water when I used my ninja skills to sneak and jump on Brittany's back. Raven had captured the moment Brittany caught my thighs and laughed back at me with my arms around her neck. Then, the moment she let me down and dipped me at my waist, kissing me with the gorgeous sunset in the background.

"I posted us on Instagram, and people have been liking and commenting ever since."

"We're two, hot bitches in love. What's not to like?" I smirked, scrolling through the comments.

Most of them were normal, friends letting us know how cute we looked, that they missed us. The occasional random guy asking if there was "room for one more." God.

"Couple people are asking where _Fondue for Two_ is, Britt," I said, idly as I gave her phone back. "Thought about making a special Lesbos episode?"

I smiled and laid back against the arm of the chair as her head cocked adorably and her mouth twisted to the side as she thought about it.

"I don't know. Would it confuse my audienceif I'm not in my bedroom in Lima? Or if I don't have a fondue pot? Lord Tubbington would pitch a total fit if he's not here to monitor the editing process. He doesn't like giving up creative control."

I laughed and Brittany smiled back before settling between my legs. Her back relaxed into me, my arms wrapped around her middle as her head lolled against my shoulder. The music played softly in the background, and the view of the ocean was breathtaking.

I had to soak in as many moments like this as I could. The hotel, the beaches, being alone with Brittany. For the first time in a while, I could breathe. And not just cause the air here was actually clean. Being here was just so easy. Lord knows, going back to New York wouldn't be the same.

"What are you thinking about?" Brittany asked.

Shaking the negative thoughts out of my head, I tightened my hold on Brittany as the smell of her hair wafted over me.

"How much I missed you today," I said against her skin, placing soft kisses along her neck and shoulder. "Library's even more boring without you."

"I missed you, too. _Real Housewives_ is confusing when you're not there to tell me who's who. They all look the same. How'd things go with Raven?"

"Better than I thought." My mind went to the latter part of the day, how easy it had been to hang out with Raven in the library. "She's not so bad."

Brittany lit up with excitement. "I knew you'd like her if you gave her a chance."

"Yeah, well. She's okay. You weren't worried about me being all alone with her?" I teased. "Pretty sure most affairs start in the History section."

"Of course not," Brittany chuckled against me. "I trust you without a doubt in my mind. Besides, Raven's not into girls. Even if she was, she's not your type."

I perked up to look at Brittany's face. "Okay, of course, you have absolutely nothing to worry about with Raven, but what makes you think she's not my type?" Yeah, I gave Brittany pretty much a list of everybody I hooked up with in our off-season, but I didn't remember specifying their looks.

"I mean, she's gorgeous, obviously, but you're into blondes," Brittany shrugged. "It's, like, borderline an obsession." She chuckled.

"What? I am not only into blondes," I retorted, flipping through the rolodex of my hookup history that, now that I thought about it, did seem pretty damn blonde.

"Me, that waitress from Breadstix, Quinn," Brittany counted on her fingers, "Elaine doesn't count 'cause that was fake. And I'd bet my pinky toe that the girls you hooked up with in Louisville and New York were all blonde."

I thought about it for a moment. "Last time I saw Dani, her hair was blue, and she's a natural brunette," I said, triumphantly.

"What color was her hair when you met her?"

I took a second to remember. "Damn it," I said under my breath. Brittany vibrated against me as she laughed, mine mixing with hers as the sound of her giggles made me get over my defeat. My arms tightened around her as I kissed below her ear. "There's only one blonde I'm obsessed with now."

"I know," she whispered, twisting her head to kiss my jawline.

As we lay there, Brittany's body against mine as the soft breeze caressed our skin, I thought about my exclusively blonde array of hookups. About how I looked for Brittany in every person I hooked up with hoping to find any similarities to the blue-eyed girl I'd left in Ohio. About how I'd imagine every tuft of blonde hair I woke up to in bed to be hers, then crash with disappointment when I realized it wasn't.

"I'm really glad you got to hang out with Raven on your own." Brittany confessed, chewing on her bottom lip. "I needed you to see for yourself you don't have anything to worry about."

"What would I have to worry about?"

She breathed deeply and shifted around so that we were face-to-face. "If Raven was totally gay and into blonde dancers or if she was a guy, would you still be okay with us hanging out alone?"

My eyebrows knitted together. "Where's this coming from?" I asked.

"When we made it official between us, I know you worried about me being with other people. I guess I'm worried that's still an issue."

I moved away a few stray tendrils of hair stuck to her face, feeling the warmth of her alabaster skin at the same time and looked deep into her eyes as I spoke.

"It's not an issue, Britt. I promise. You could be in a room of naked Abercrombie models, and I know that I wouldn't have a thing to worry about. I know that my heart is safe with you. There's nobody else I'd rather give it to."

Her blue eyes shifted between mine. "Do you really trust me?" she asked softly.

"I really trust you," I said decisively. I held my pinky up between us. "I promise."

She rested her forehead against mine before hugging my pinky with her own. "I love you."

I leaned up and kissed her, feeling her mouth curl into a smile.

"I love you, Britt."

#

A few days later, I found myself running along the coast on the boardwalk trying to run out all my stress and frustrations.

The day before, I was doing the math. First mistake. Britt and I definitely wouldn't be able to afford Hawaii. I didn't want to break it to her. She was really excited to see volcanoes. I beat myself up for not planning better before I changed our tickets in the first place.

Then, I went down a craigslist rabbit hole looking for places to live. Second mistake. If the online listings were any indication, the only place Brittany and I would be able to afford in New York were a studio apartment with four other roommates or the basement of a creepy guy named Wilbur which we'd have to share with his collection of pet lizards.

Not to mention, I found out I didn't get a callback for the last commercial I auditioned for.

Cherry on top of the shit cake, my period came to visit and so did the sharp, cutting agony of cramps that felt like being stabbed in the uterus.

It was all too much. I felt my feet hitting the pavement harder and harder with every stride. I didn't realize how fast I was going until the hotel came into focus in no time. When I stopped is when I could feel how sweaty and out of breath I was because of my intense sprint.

I took my time heading back to the room as I cooled down, not surprised to find it empty. I'd left Brittany there waiting for Raven to pick her up before I left, so they could head to a museum together.

Heading straight to the bathroom, I turned the shower on to let the water heat up. I turned the TV on as I went through my bags hoping against hope the emergency tampon that I used this morning wasn't the only one I had. I let out a frustrated groan when I didn't find anything and realized I'd have to trek to the nearest store when I glanced at Brittany's glittery bag.

Brittany had to have a tampon. I opened the purple bag sitting near the sink, rifling through makeup and trinkets until my hand touched a large box.

"Jackpot."

My delight slowly turned to disappointment then confusion then complete shock when I realized the box that I pulled was not what I was looking for at all. I turned it over in my hands realizing it wasn't empty, but it wasn't full either.

"Stop being crazy, Santana." I shook my head quickly. I was jumping to conclusions. This could've been months old.

But my mind started to race, and in a flash a hundred questions zipped in my mind. How many days had it been since Brittany and I reunited? How many days since she left MIT? Were we still in sync? We had sex damn near every day; would I have missed it?

The waste basket came into view, and I was taken back to a few months ago when my snooping led me to a similar discovery regarding one Rachel Berry. On a whim, I peered inside finding one lone toilet paper wad.

I bit my lip in contemplation. I was being crazy. Was I this desperate to put my mind at ease?

Yes. Yes, I was.

Wrapping my hand in toilet paper in a makeshift glove, I reached in and pulled the wad out, feeling something hard hidden inside as I tossed it on the bathroom counter.

Slowly, I unraveled it, and three plastic sticks clattered noisily on the granite countertop. It may have been a few years since I needed one, but there was no mistaking what they were.

At first, I didn't realize what I was looking at as I turned each one, glaring like they might change under my gaze. I stared blankly at them until very vivid images started to flash in my mind, one after another after another. Images of doctor bills, sleepless nights, endless crying. Rancid spit up. Putrid diapers. No place to live. No money for food. No possible way to care for a little human.

The air in my lungs started to constrict. My breathing was coming in short spurts. My pulse was racing. My palms moistened with sweat. My legs gave out as I stumbled back on the toilet seat. Still, I couldn't tear my eyes away from the three sticks on the counter, two pink lines taunting me on each. There was no denying it.

Brittany was pregnant.

* * *

 **Spanish translations**

 _Pero_ – But

 _Siempre en el hospital –_ Always at the hospital

 _Nada_ – Nothing

 _Te amo_ – I love you

 **Greek translations**

 _Adio –_ goodbye


	11. Chapter 11

**Lesbos, July 2013**

 **Brittany POV**

I'd never thought of having a baby before. Not that I didn't want one. In fact, babies were right up there with ducks and puppies on the cuteness scale. I had just never given it much thought… Being a mother. I never had to. Not as much as I did today.

Waiting for the results of the pregnancy sticks made five minutes feel like five hours. It was a long time to think. To think about babies. I think I wanted babies. Plural. Not just one. The baby would need at least one other baby friend.

It sucked that me and Santana couldn't make our own. We'd make beautiful babies. Beautiful, singing, dancing babies. If they were anything like Santana, they'd be perfect.

Santana didn't like babies. Her face always got that scrunched up, disgusted look when people talked about their kids or when they were in the vicinity. The one time I had invited her to babysit my neighbor's kid, she'd held him at arms' length if she'd held him at all.

"He smells like vomit and broken dreams, Britt," she'd said when he needed his diaper changed and had shoved him back at me.

I needed to talk to Santana.

Six o'clock rolled around, and I still hadn't heard from her. I'd gotten back this afternoon hours ago hoping to take Santana to dinner. But, when I got home, I could tell something was off. By the looks of the made-up bed and clean bathroom, housekeeping had been by, but Santana wasn't there. Not in the shower, on the patio, in the closet. Nowhere. But she had been. Her laptop was open. The TV was still on. The cell phone was on the table along with her keys. The Vespa was still parked outside. But she wasn't there.

I'd been waiting for her to come back, thinking she just went to tan on the beach or something. But the sun was starting to set, and my anxiety was starting to set in. It wasn't like Santana to leave for so long and just not tell me. Especially without some way for me to get in touch with her.

I'd called around hoping against hope that someone knew where Santana was. Raven didn't. Dr. Mikos and Basil didn't. None of our friends in the U.S. had heard from her. So, where was she?

The police said they couldn't do anything since she hadn't been gone for more than 24 hours yet. But god knows what could happen to her in 24 hours if I did nothing.

Now it was past midnight, and Santana was still missing.

At this point, I was past 'worried' and into 'really, really scared as shit' mode.

Abel from the front desk had asked around, and one of his co-workers had seen her leaving on foot earlier in the day. "Rushing out" she had put it. It wasn't much to go on, but it was something.

That's what brought me half-running along the dark, deserted beach hoping to find some sign of my lost girlfriend, guided only by my iPhone flashlight.

"Santana! Santana!" I kept calling her name into the empty night but never got anything back. Nothing but the slosh of the waves and squawking seagulls in the distance.

Suddenly, the burner phone rang. My heart leapt in my chest, picking up instantly without looking.

"Santana?" I answered frantically.

"Guessing you still haven't heard from her?" Raven asked softly from the other end. My shoulders slumped and a wave of disappointment washed over me.

"No, nothing yet," I sighed heavily. "I've been looking for her all night. I'm really worried about her."

"I know you are, Brittany. Give me, like, fifteen minutes. I'll come help you look." I heard her shuffling around, but the weariness in her voice was palpable.

"No, Raven, it's okay. I've got it tonight. It's been a long day. You should get some rest."

She hesitated a moment before asking, "Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I'll update you in the morning if I find anything. For now, get some sleep. You need it."

"Thanks, Brittany. You're a really good friend." All I could do was nod. The day's emotion was getting to me, making a lump form in my throat. "We'll find her."

"Thanks," I managed to get out. "I'll, uh, talk to you in the morning." I hung up.

Where could she be so late? Was she alone? Was she in danger? Was she somewhere calling for me to help her? At this point, anything could've happened. I keeled over and grabbed my knees as my breaths got so short that I started to hyperventilate.

God, what if she was hurt… or worse. I don't know what I'd do if something happened to Santana. Suddenly, it occurred to me that I might never see her again. That I'd never see her smile again. I'd never hear her laugh again. I'd never feel her touch again. Santana. My best friend. My girlfriend. The absolute love of my life. Just the thought made my chest tighten so bad it hurt.

Not for the first time that night, my mind replayed the last time I talked to her that morning.

#

 _The surprise of seeing Santana leaning against the bathroom doorframe was enough to interrupt my humming as I combed the wet tendrils of my hair._

 _The light from the window gave her the most angelic glow that matched just how she looked to me. I smiled at the loving look on her adorable face as I caught her gaze in the mirror._

" _Hey, hotness." I turned and pulled her towards me and rested my hands on her hips as I pressed a tender kiss to her pillowy lips._

" _Hi." She giggled, wiping my smeared lip gloss off the corner of my lip with her thumb. "I'm going for a run on the beach. Just wanted to say bye before I left. Raven just texted to say she's on her way over."_

 _I looked down quickly just noticing she had on her running clothes. Santana was always down to work out, but she'd been running erven more over the past week. Not that I minded. In fact, seeing her worked up and sweaty when she came back never failed to get me as hot as she looked. I may not have thought anything of it if I didn't also catch her spacing out, trapped in her thoughts a couple times. I'd ask her what was wrong, but she'd shrugged it off as nothing and smile at me like everything was good._

" _You okay, honey?" I asked, rubbing the skin under her shirt with my thumb. "You seem distracted lately. Something on your mind?"_

" _Nothing major, B." She kissed me reassuringly and smiled just as she had so many times before, but tension still lingered around her eyes._

" _I'm here if you wanna talk," I said, stroking my fingers through her hair. "Even about the minor stuff. Especially about the minor stuff."_

 _Her eyes shifted between mine, contemplating. "Thanks, Britt." She sighed deeply as she hugged me tightly and hid her face in my chest. I heard her words vibrate against me and barely caught them as she spoke. "I just want to make you happy."_

 _I stroked her back, kissing her hair. "You already make me happy, San. Just having the most wonderful woman in the world as my girlfriend makes me pretty happy."_

 _That smile I loved appeared on her face again, and she kissed me, lingering longer this time. Any questions in my mind about what was going on with her seemed to evaporate as my fingers twisted in her hair and her body pressed into mine. She had this magical way about her to make me forget everything else when she kissed me like that. Like a sexy magician. I was more than happy to stay under her spell._

 _Her arms wrapped around my neck and she hummed pleasingly into my mouth as our tongues met. My hands teased their way under the hem of her shirt until my hands hugged the soft expanse of her skin. Her breath hitched, and I let my hands caress her back until they met the barrier of her sports bra._

 _All too soon, she pulled away, unlocking her hands from my neck to flatten them on my chest, and I groaned._

" _You know we have no time for this." she chuckled, nudging my nose with her own as I pouted. "Raven will be here soon. I'll make it up to you tonight. When no one can interrupt me having my dirty way with you."_

 _I bit my lip in sweet anticipation as she left me with one last heated kiss._

" _Say hi to Raven for me," she said, swatting my butt before she moved to leave._

" _Okay. I love you, honey."_

" _I love you, B." With one last departing smile and a wink, she left._

#

I never should have let her go. I should have made her tell me what was going on in that head of hers. Maybe something major _was_ on her mind. Maybe that something was the reason I couldn't find her now. She made plans with me tonight. Why wasn't she home?

My tummy did rough tumbles until I puked right there on the sand. I wiped my mouth and the tear that had fallen on my cheek and groaned in frustration when the light went out.

I pressed the buttons on my phone, but nothing happened. Great. Phone was dead. As if this night couldn't possibly get any worse.

"Where are you, baby?" I whispered, looking into the darkness. The slosh of the waves was my only response.

In defeat, I turned to retrace my steps and head back to the hotel. I rubbed my hands harshly against my eyes. This felt like the longest day of my life.

Walking through the hotel, the doorman looked at me funny. Normally, I'd greet him and ask him how his day was manning the door, but I wasn't in the mood. Frankly, it was taking all my energy not to burst into tears right there in the lobby. Abel gave me a sad nod, and I knew he had no update on Santana.

As I opened the door to our room, I started formulating a game plan for the rest of the night. I'd charge the phone a while, give everybody another call just in case someone had heard from Santana, grab a granola bar from the vending machine, and head back out to continue the search. I had to keep going. I had to find her.

After plugging in the phone, I spotted my burgundy MIT hoodie balled up on the couch. It didn't even feel right calling it mine anymore. One day, just after we'd made love, and I was still catching my breath from what she did to me, she'd picked it up off the floor and put it on to answer room service. It hung on her small frame like a sack, long enough to cover her butt and other important areas. Seeing her in my hoodie with that tousled post-sex hair and dimple-deepening smile was top three 'sexiest Santana Lopez' moments. She'd kept it on saying how soft and comfy it was and any other time she could after that. I knew how comfy it was. It was my favorite hoodie for a reason, but who was I to deny her when she looked better in it than I ever did.

Picking it up off the couch, it felt as cold as I felt inside. I shrugged it on and was instantly hit with the scent of her. I pushed the collar to my nose, feeling incredibly comforted and sad by the smell of Santana. This might actually be the closest thing I had to having the real thing ever again.

God, I didn't want to think about that. I'd find her. I had to.

I lay on the bed, closing my eyes to focus on the lingering citrusy smell of her. It was the most comforting thing I had felt all night. Then, without knowing it, I fell asleep in no time.

#

By the time I woke up, the sun rays were creeping through the curtains.

"Crap," I cursed as I leapt out of bed. How could I fall asleep and lose all that time when Santana was still missing?

On the bright side, by this time, maybe I could convince the police to look for Santana. It had been almost 24 hours since I last saw her.

Hauling on a pair of pants, I got my phone and keys to head out the door. As soon as I cracked the door, it flew open, hitting me in the face. At the same time, I heard a yelp near the floor. I groaned, holding my nose against the sharp pain.

"Fuck!"

I opened my eyes to find a small, dark figure writhing in pain on the floor. It took a few seconds for my eyes to register, and the pain in my nose to ease, but then tan skin and dark hair came into focus. She groaned and held a hand to the back of her head, but she was alive.

"Santana!"

Immediately, I reached a hand out to help her stand and engulfed her in a tight hug. My whole body sighed, and it felt like the weight of a thousand elephants was off my shoulders. This was her. She was back. Santana was back in my arms safe and sound in one piece. I smoothed a hand over her hair and another down her back just to make sure I wasn't dreaming.

"You're okay," I sighed feeling her arms tighten around me. The citrusy smell of her hair was back in full force. "I'm so glad you're okay. I thought you were dead." I pulled back and kissed every inch of her face just to be sure it was real.

"Britt, you're killing me kisses, babe," she said hoarsely.

I stopped and brushed her hair away to look at her face. It looked the same, but something was off. Her eyes were red and puffy. Either she'd been crying, or she was very, very tired. Given she'd been gone the night before, it could've gone either way. "You _are_ okay, right?"

"Well, I'm hungry as all hell, my neck hurts from sleeping up against the door, and I smacked my head against the floor when it opened. But, yeah, B. I'm okay." She squeezed my arm reassuringly. "I, uh, I knocked a few times, but I thought you kicked me out or something," she rasped as I followed her into the room.

My eyebrows furrowed in confusion as I walked behind her. "Kick y- Why would I do that? I was out all night looking for you. Where have you been?"

"I went for a walk," she shrugged.

A walk. "Did you walk back to Lima? You were out all night, Santana. I looked for you everywhere."

"I'm not too sure actually," she said quietly as we sat on the couch. "One minute I was walking along the shore… next thing I knew, I had walked to some part of what I think was downtown. I don't know the buildings were big. I was so in my head that I didn't even realize how far I had ended up."

I was even more confused. Now that I knew Santana was safe, the stress of the day before was starting to weigh on me. I was still tired and irritable, and my girlfriend was talking in circles.

"Were you okay? How'd you get back?"

"At first, I tried to walk back, retrace my steps. But it had gotten dark and nothing looked the same. I think I ended up getting even more lost." She sighed and closed her eyes, her voice heavy with exhaustion. "It took a long-ass time to find someone who spoke English in the middle of the night, but eventually I did. I'm honestly lucky somebody didn't pick me up and sell me to a sex ring. Apparently, I wasn't far from the university. Which meant I wasn't too far from Raven's house."

"Raven brought you back?" I squeaked. I pulled a leg on the chair, so I could turn to her fully.

"God, I wish," she rolled her eyes on an exhale. "No, Dr. Mikos answered the door. And if you think she's a delight on a usual day, imagine her being woken up in the middle of the night to drive her student's friend across town."

My nose scrunched up in sympathy. Hanging with Raven so much, I'd spent a lot of time at the house. I liked Dr. Mikos, but she was kind of a hard ass. She wasn't mean, really, just strictly business most of the time. Except when she was with Basil. He seemed to soften her up. It wasn't hard. His smiles were pretty infectious. Most of the time, I just talked to Basil. He was fun and big with a deep voice like a jolly giant. Plus, when he talked math, I understood most of it thanks to MIT which he seemed to like. I don't think many of his students shared his love of numbers.

"I'm sorry, honey. That must have been an awkward ride." I rubbed a hand on her back, grateful when her tense body seemed to relax a little.

"It wasn't too bad. She kinda forced me to talk to her," she chuckled mirthlessly. "Said if she was up at that hour, she needed to know why." Her fingers scratched inside her palm then. She looked at her fingers like they were the most interesting things in the world.

"What did you talk about?" I asked, but she didn't answer. "What were you thinking about so much that had you strolling into another part of the city?"

For the longest time, Santana just looked at me, and I swear her eyes were getting redder. She took deep breaths, but I could tell she was shaken up about something.

I moved closer to her and placed a hand on her back as I looked at her in concern.

She shook her head and grabbed my hands, grasping them in her own as she looked up at me determined with red-tinged eyes. "I know," she barely got out.

My eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "What? What do you know?"

The nerve in her jaw jumped and she steeled herself before she spoke again. "I _know_ , Brittany. I found the pregnancy tests."

I blinked blankly back at her. It took me a second to realize what she'd said. And what she meant. I'd been so caught up in finding Santana that night that it almost eclipsed what I'd found out that morning.

"San-"

"Wait, Britt. I've been thinking about what'd I'd say to you for hours. Please, just…please, let me get it out." She looked at me with pleading eyes, so I nodded and kept quiet. She took a few deep breaths before she continued. "First, I need you to know how sorry I am, Britt. I'm sorry I couldn't be there for you when you found out. I hate to think that you were scared and alone when you took the tests. I'm sorry I haven't been the girlfriend you deserve. The kind you felt safe enough with to come to with this."

A tear fell to her cheek, and my heart broke. I didn't want Santana to feel like this, and she didn't have to. But I stayed quiet like she asked me to.

"I'm sorry I left you for so long. When I saw the tests, I started thinking about the baby and what that meant for us… for me, and I got really scared. I was having something of a panic attack in the bathroom, and I couldn't breathe, so I went for a walk to clear my head, but I got to thinking about our future so much that I just didn't stop walking." She sniffled as more tears fell. "I'm sorry, Britt. God, that was so fucking selfish of me. It wasn't until I was god knows where that it really sunk in how scared you must be. If I was freaking out like that, I couldn't imagine what you were going through. You must've been scared enough already. And then I go missing on you, and that just made everything so much worse. It took me a minute, but I came back. I came back." She swiped at her face, but the tears kept coming.

I bit my lip to keep from saying anything. Santana wasn't selfish. She never had been. She might not always see it, but her selfless heart was part of why I fell in love with her.

"I'll keep telling you how sorry I am forever, but I'm not leaving. You're not gonna be alone in this. No matter what you decide. No matter what happens. No matter what it takes. As long as you want me, I'm gonna be right beside you, Brittany. Okay?"

I rubbed her back softly, trying to comfort her any way I could without talking. She sniffled and took a few deep breaths to keep her crying under control. When I smiled at her encouragingly and intertwined our fingers, that seemed to help.

"I'm not gonna lie, I'm really fucking scared to be a parent. I'm nowhere near ready for all of it, but being with you taught me that taking a leap of faith can be one of the greatest decisions I can ever make." She looked down at our intertwined hands with a wistful smile. "So, bring on the doctor visits and temper tantrums if that's what you decide to do. You and me, we're in this together. I love you, Brittany, and I want to be with you no matter what. I'm gonna be right here…"

I wrapped her in my arms unable to take see her in pain anymore. We held onto each other tightly for a while, Santana's words still sinking in for both us. No wonder she was so emotional. I wish I could've explained things to her myself before she saw the tests, but the important thing was she was here with me now. And what I couldn't deny was the love that laced her every word.

I pulled back when her cries died down, wiping the tears off her face. "Can I talk now?" I asked. She chuckled through her tears and nodded. "I love you so much." I looked deep in her eyes before I kissed her gently, hoping to convey all the love and appreciation I had for her through my lips before I confessed. "I'm not pregnant."

She blinked a few times, but her face didn't change.

"You're not pregnant?" I shook my head. Her head cocked to the side and eyes narrowed as she stared at me intently. "You're not pregnant." I shook my head again. "Of course, you're pregnant, Britt. What do you mean you're not?"

"I mean, I'm not… pregnant. Like, there's not a fertilized egg in my womb. Sorry, sweetie. I don't know how to break down it any more than that."

No wonder she was acting like this. I'd be pretty freaked out too if I thought my girlfriend was having a baby. She pulled her hands away from mine, and I could see the wheels turning in her head as she stared at nothing in particular.

When I first met Santana, she practically lived behind an emotional wall. Actually, more like an emotional castle with towering walls made of stone decorated with spikes and a moat filled with starving alligators. Throughout the course of our friendship turned relationship, she'd lower the drawbridge and let me in the castle on rare occasions until eventually, the walls to the castle disappeared altogether, and she was completely free and vulnerable around me. But, every now and then, she'd build that wall up one brick at a time, and I'd see her slowly retreat back in the castle where I couldn't see her. And right now, I could feel a layer of bricks being set already.

"B-b-but all that throwing up the other day. That wasn't morning sickness?" she asked.

"Nope. Just good, old-fashioned food poisoning I guess," I shrugged.

"What about your period, Britt? We've been having sex for over a month. I think I'd know if you had your period, and you haven't."

"Oh, when I was dating Sam, my mom had the doctor put this little magic pogo stick inside me that prevents me from getting pregnant. Some kind of DUI. My period got lighter and lighter and just stopped coming after a while."

"Pogo stick?" she asked, still flummoxed. "Are you- are you talking about an _IUD_?"

"Yeah, that's it."

Santana let out an incredulous laugh, roughly running a hand through her dark mane. "There were three positive pregnancy tests in our bathroom, Brittany. I didn't fucking imagine those. I most certainly am not knocked up. If you aren't, then who is?"

I let out a deep sigh and ran a hand through my hair. This isn't how I planned on letting Santana know, but here we go.

"Raven."

#

 _The knock on the door I was waiting on finally came. It was unlike Raven to be so late getting here, but at least she was here now. I grabbed my bag and opened the door with a smile but didn't see one in return._

 _A firm frown was fixed where Raven's usually bright smile was, and her eyes shifted everywhere but into mine. Her hair was not in one of the perfect styles it usually was. In the past few weeks, I'd seen her get sad, mad, confused, and even a little gassy, but this was different. Something was wrong._

" _Hey, Ray. You okay?" I asked as she came inside._

" _Is Santana here?" She asked softly as she looked around the suite. I shook my head. That's when she looked at me determinedly, her bottom lip trapped between her pearly white teeth. "I-I need your help."_

 _Before I could say anything, she pulled a box out of her purse. A box I was quite familiar with thanks to my more popular days on the Cheerios!_

 _Pregnancy tests._

 _She looked at me like she was waiting for me to react. To judge her. But, I couldn't. More than once, I'd been in her position. In high school, in college. One time, Santana was on the other end, waiting for that single line to show up and let her know she was in the clear. One time, it was Tina. One time, it was also Unique, but I knew how that one would turn out. This wasn't a new situation for me. But I could tell it was for her. I rubbed her arm comfortingly._

 _She bit her lip again and hung her head. When she raised her head again, her eyes were wet, and she was biting down so hard I thought she'd tear her lip off. "I just- I've been so busy with the paper a-and I didn't even think about my period until I saw the tampons in the grocery store this morning."_

 _Her arms crossed as she tried to hang her head and hide the tears threatening to escape her eyes._

 _I rubbed her back like I knew Santana liked when she was upset. After a few seconds, she looked up and quickly swiped at a stray tear on her cheek._

" _Come on," I said, leading her to the bathroom. "You won't know for sure until you take a test."_

 _Before I left, she looked at the huge box in confusion. "Am I supposed to use all ten?"_

" _No, I don't think you even have enough pee for all ten," I chuckled, and it seemed to goad a small smile out of her. "Three should be enough."_

 _I closed the door and let out a deep sigh as I went to wait on the bed. It didn't matter if I was the one peeing on the stick or how many times I went through this. The not knowing always felt as scary as the first time. At this point, it felt like Russian Roulette. So far, the bullet had missed my friends and I. But it was still in the chamber._

 _Raven came out, and sat next to me on the bed, fiddling with her phone._

" _How long do we wait?" she asked._

" _Three minutes."_

" _I'll put the timer at five just to be safe." She snorted at herself before putting the phone down. "_ I _should have been more fucking safe."_

 _She leaned her elbow on her knees and hid her face in her palms. I laid a hand on her shoulder just to let her know she wasn't by herself._

" _I'm really scared, Brittany." Her voice wavered, and my heart broke. I'd never heard her sound so fragile before._

" _I know," I whispered. Shuffling over, I put my arm around her shoulder and let her lean into me. I didn't realize how long we stayed like that until the alarm for the timer went off._

 _With a sigh, she got up and I followed her, but she stopped just shy of the bathroom door. I waited for her to go in, but she never did. Instead, she started murmuring something that I couldn't make out. Not until she whipped around and marched back into the room with a panic-stricken face._

" _I can't do this. I can't do this. I can't do this. I can't do this." She kept repeating. She paced the suite, hands lodged on her hips, and her words coming out more and more like wheezes. She shook her head violently as her voice cracked, but she didn't stop._

 _Even when I grabbed her by the arms to keep her still. Her eyes were closed tight as her head kept shaking. The tears kept coming, and she kept on repeating her mantra, "I can't do this. I can't do this. I can't do this."_

" _Raven!" I shouted as I shook her firmly. Her red eyes went wide as she looked at me, but her head stopped shaking, and she stopped speaking. "I need you to take a deep breath." When she didn't, I channeled my inner Santana and arched an eyebrow at her until she did. "I know you're scared. I know you have no idea what you're gonna do if the tests are positive. But you are such an amazingly strong, smart woman. If there's anybody in this world that can handle this, it's you. You've got this, Raven. You've got this."_

 _She looked at me bewildered but nodded slowly._

" _I want to hear you say it."_

" _I-I got this," she murmured._

" _I didn't hear you."_

" _I got this," she said softly. This time her head nodded like she was starting to believe it herself. "I got this."_

" _Hell yeah, you do."_

 _She closed her eyes and took more deep breaths, still visibly rattled, but a lot more composed than before._

" _Thank you," she mouthed as I took her hand._

" _Of course," I smiled. "You're not alone. Remember that. No matter what the tests say, you've got me. Any time, any day. And you've got Santana. We're like a two for one friendship sale."_

 _She smiled and gave me brief but meaningful hug. With one more deep breath, she steeled herself, and I followed her into the bathroom._

#

"Raven," Santana breathed. " _You're_ not pregnant. _Raven's_ pregnant."

I nodded slowly. In the moments it took for that to really sink in for her, what she said before sank in for me.

She really thought I was pregnant. She thought I was having a baby, and here she was willing to have a baby with me. A baby she had nothing to do with. Granted, she didn't take the news very well, but really, which nineteen-year old would be that ecstatic about their college dropout girlfriend getting knocked up probably by the school mascot at an afterparty. She didn't know what would happen. Not even if I planned on having the baby. Yet here she was, pledging to be by my side through all of it. To raise my hypothetical baby with me. To put whatever plans and dreams she had for herself to the side for this. For us. Every time I thought I couldn't fall more in love with her, she did something like this that made me even more sure that she was the only person in the world that I wanted to be with.

I was so in my head that it caught me off guard when she started giggling. It was soft at first, like she was thinking about an old joke that made her laugh thinking about it. Then, it got louder, and I couldn't figure out what it was that she found so funny. It was a little unnerving. She laughed so hard she put a hand on her knee and hugged an arm around her middle.

I chuckled nervously as I warily put a hand on her shoulder.

When she picked her head up, her eyes were glazed with tears from laughing so hard. The way her eyes crinkled, and dimples deepened would have been really adorable if this whole laughing fit wasn't also a little creepy. Her laughter slowly died down as I smiled at her cautiously. As it did, her face crumpled up, and the giggles that escaped her lips quickly morphed into sobs.

When I realized the tears coming down were not happy ones, I moved to put my arms around her, holding her racking body as she cried. I pulled her close to me and smoothed my hand over her hair, hoping to take away whatever it was she was feeling.

"It's gonna be okay, San," I said softly into her hair.

She pulled away suddenly, still clearly distraught.

" _Okay_? Shit's not _okay_ , Britt," she said through her tears. She wrapped her arms around her middle, and I could see the castle walls going up brick by brick.

"San," I tried as she shrugged off the hand I tried to put on her shoulder and looked anywhere but at me. It had been a while since she shut me out like this. So long ago that I forgot how much it hurt. But I wasn't going to let her feel whatever pain she was obviously feeling by herself. "Santana, sweetie, talk to me. I told you I'm not having a baby. What's the problem?"

She gave an empty, incredulous chuckle as she wiped at her tear-stained face. "I mean, thank god, you're not pregnant. But that doesn't mean we aren't in the same exact position we were in before."

I was even more confused. We'd spent the past month living on a really beautiful island, with very little responsibilities and literally nothing to worry about. We were crazy in love with each other, having fun, making memories, and having mind-blowing sex every day. Our position looked pretty fantastic in my eyes.

Did she see something different?

"We're still two broke teenagers about to live together in one of the most expensive cities in the country. We have no college degree, barely any experience, and no money. How are you not worried about this? We don't even have a place to fucking live. I work at a diner, Brittany! I can't support us. And I'll be damned if I fulfill Berry's asinine expectation of me making a living on a pole. I can't-" She sighed deeply, regret haunting her eyes. "I can't even afford to take you to Hawaii like I fucking said I would."

She stood and turned her back to me to go look out the window with arms crossed, but not before I caught the devastated look in her eye. Through the glass, I barely caught sight of her clenched eyes and stony face.

"Santana." Instinctively, touched a hand to her shoulder, willing her to look back at me, but she jerked away at my touch. My heart dropped. Not only were the walls up, the gators were starving, and the archers at the top of the wall were ready to fire.

Maybe it was the stress of the last twenty-four hours. Maybe it was the dull pounding in my head. Maybe it was the growing up I had to do the last few months. This time, I wasn't going to patiently wait for her to lower the drawbridge and let me in.

"Look, I get why you're stressed about going back to New York, and, if we can't go to Hawaii, then that sucks, but I don't care about that, Santana. What I care about is the fact that this has obviously been weighing on your mind for a while, and you haven't come talk to me about it. What I'm not going to do, is let you push me away and ice me out because that hurts. That _hurts_ me, Santana."

I sighed as she stood there stubborn and resolute. I hated when Santana got like this. It reminded me too much of her early days in the closet and her pushing me away at every moment of intimacy. Each time hurt like a fresh stab wound. I was done going through that pain. Making my mind up, I spun around, grabbing the keys to the Vespa on the way out the door.

At the sound of the keys jangling, she turned around confused, brows furrowed. "Where are you going?"

"It's my turn to take a walk," I said before slamming the door behind me.


End file.
